A Conversation About “50 Shades of Grey”

Master rarely has suggestions for dievca’s blog.
It is His dievca’s gig, her outlet.
Then one morning Master and dievca were talking about the movie “50 Shades of Grey” coming out and Master asked if dievca was going to see it.

“No, I never read the books and the movie trailer looks awful.”

Master replied, “Don’t your girlfriend’s want to do a Chick Flick night?”
dievca’s answer, “No, no one has even mentioned it.”

“The thing that bothered me is that it is a Harlequin Romance, a Mills & Boon novel – not a true portrayal of BDSM.  The poor, weak wallflower is saving the rich tycoon.”

“You don’t have to be rich to be a Dom and you don’t have to be poor or weak to be a sub.”

“dievca, why don’t you write about that?”

“Ah, I guess I just did…”


Dominants and submissives come from all walks of Life.  Being a Billionaire of unknown means does not make someone a Dom, being poor doesn’t make someone a submissive.  There are many wealthy, high-powered people who want to submit as an expression or release of their personality. Perhaps to create a balance in their life. (comment made by Elle on her post about FSOG).

Often times a Dominant just is — He/She has those traits in their genes, it flows through their personality and actions. If they chose to follow through with a D/s relationships there is a great deal of responsibility: time, commitment, trust, honesty, communication skills, etc. A great deal of work — you cannot buy your way out of that.

A submissive may be shy, retiring, gentle in their daily life.  But, there are others who are commanding and dominant in public, who look for release from those responsibilities as a submissive.

dievca sees “50 Shades of Grey” as a fairy tale. One where the poor young peasant girl gets the Prince on her terms. Something with kinky sex, but not a true life portrayal of a safe, sane, consensual BDSM relationship.  That is probably why the Soccer Moms bought the book  to read on their kindle in the first place–who wouldn’t want to read a sexual fairy tale?

Uhhhh….not dievca.  she prefers “Cinderella”.

A key statement about FSOG? “This is not REALITY”.

Sorry to discuss something that dievca has not researched fully, but she really cannot bring herself to do her due diligence….sigh.

Can dievca suggest that you read some well-researched posts about 50 Shades and BDSM from The Mynx Blog and The Submission of Elle?

17 Comments on “A Conversation About “50 Shades of Grey””

  1. lesliemeeks says:

    I happen to love romance. I saw FSOG and loved it. For me, I didn’t see it for the BDSM. It wasn’t about that for me. It was about fantasy. Two people who captivate one another. Why can’t people treat it as a movie like any other minus the BDSM? I did and it was phenomenal.

    • dievca says:

      Leslie, I am so glad that you enjoyed the movie. Fantastic.
      From what I saw of the trailer and the lack of chemistry in the interviews — I decided it wasn’t for me.
      The issue with the BDSM crowd (in a small nutshell) is that books touched on it in an unsafe manner (the writer learned about the lifestyle from Wikipedia) and Christian Grey can only be into BDSM because something is wrong with him. He needs to be saved. (His Mother was a junkie, right?) — not because he made an informed decision lifestyle choice. So, BDSM must be wrong.
      From what I understand the book/movie introduced people to BDSM, which is great, but you have to be rich and have problems to seek something like that in your life.
      As a Cinderella story, the small mouse gets the rich guy – I am sure that it will bring joy to the crowd. The first weekend was good, but it’s dropping in the US. It’s been big in Europe.

  2. Pelelotus says:

    I have read the first book. It was bleeding awful! Badly written, one dimensional characters, lame sex scenes and obviously written by someone who has no understanding of the scene of which she writes about. If FOSOG author wanted to write about her fantasies, she should have stuck to what excites, enthralles and thrills her. When you write about sexual subculture that not only are you not a devotee of (I.e you don’t actually enjoy their brand of sexuality) and only wish the use them for shock value then you are not honouring sex. You are playing on stereotypes. If you read the ‘established’ erotica like Anais Nin or ‘Story of O’, it is clear that the authors are not writing to be shocking. This is simply their version of what tickles their fancy, and that is part of what makes them so appealing. Of course in Erotica fantasy is key, no one wants to see the mundane. We want the extraordinary and surreal. But even the fantasy part is tepid. On the other hand, it is good that women are feeling more free to indulge in erotic literature and experiment in their real sex lives. Would highly recommend anyone who thought that FSOG was good to try ‘Story of O’ by Pauline Reage and any of Anais Nin works.

    • dievca says:

      Excellent suggestions for the Erotica! Thank you and thank you for the FSOG book review, as I never read it. I can’t even bring myself to peek. XO

  3. esther says:

    i read the first two books of the FSOG trilogy. i was throwing things and hurling expletitives at the awful writing, the character “development”, the plot, let alone the sex/BDSM content. just ask Spike (the cat)! what set me off was the character of Anastasia, she was the one “broken” and abusive. she defied him, made up her own rules, wasn’t honest, made promises she couldn’t keep, and caused him emotional pain…but because he was the man, and rich, he was the “bad guy”! if the author’s intent was to show Anastasia as the controller/Dom, she failed. the majority of audience walked in believing Christian was an abuser and left feeling the same. i was so disgusted with the author, i wouldn’t part with my $$$s for book three. and will not waste time on the movie. just my HO. xx

    • dievca says:

      Whew! I hope Spike moved quickly when you threw things! XO
      Well, from what I understand there will be three movies — so someone is watching. 😉
      Thank you for the review and I’m confirmed that I am not going to read or watch, at this point. I don’t think that I can just consider the film a romance.

  4. M's Journey says:

    I could not even finish the first book. Felt like I was being reduced to a middle school child the writing was so poor. And, honestly, I got bored with it.

    • dievca says:

      Good to know. Pelelotus’ suggestions of ‘Story of O’ by Pauline Reage and any Anais Nin works are sure to offer better fare. I am impressed that you gave FSOG a good try, though. Brave soul. 🙂

  5. hispetitelle says:

    Thanks for the ping back. I’m down with Cinderella, too. Would’t it be great to have a fairy godmother whip you up some amazing clothes, a smooth ride, and get you to a hot party? Hello?

    • dievca says:

      Good Point. I had a Godmother who my brothers called my Fairy. And she was~XO

      • hispetitelle says:

        I had an Aunt (actually my dad’s cousin) who was like that with me. I told you about her. She took me everywhere in the city and frequently wore lavender chiffon and fabulous head scarves. I just called her Minnie and my dad called her Phil. Her name was Philomena. Doesn’t that sound like a fairy godmother name?

      • dievca says:

        That is so fabulous! I love both names for her. XO

      • hispetitelle says:

        One day she just disappeared. She cared for her elderly Aunts and once they passed she became reclusive. She had become a widow early and just devoted herself to her career for close to 35 years before retiring. She didn’t have any children. We heard she went to live in a Convent, possibly even taking her vows. I always thought she would make an incredible character in a book.

  6. Tom Wolf says:

    Too right miss Dievca…
    The vast majority of those in the the lifestyle resent the inference of having “issues” and “that’s why I am the way I am Anastasia” type of diatribe.

    For me, this was a bit over the top in its similarities to “Pretty Woman” … just add the “pseudo BDSM” and the helicopter. Okay, a good fantasy perhaps… and now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Oh, one other thing, not fond of their choice of actors- at least “Pretty Woman” had a Dominant and a bratty submissive to carry the storyline…

    Just my 2 cents… and BTW, miss Dievca- LUV your blog, miss!!! 😎


    • dievca says:

      Thank you for stopping by – it is always great to hear from fantastic, clear seeing people. It was hard for me to compare anything to FSOG, as I haven’t done my work….couldn’t bring myself to do it.
      Glad to hear from you, Mr.TW


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