Opening Doors: a bit of an Art

ChivalryGettyRyanMcvay Photograph Ryan Mcvay-Getty

Photograph Ryan Mcvay-Getty

dievca has mentioned that she has a friend who has exquisite manners — he knows his Door Opening etiquette. His delivery is seemless and fluid. Master gives door opening a very good go, but He is not as elegant as dievca’s friend.  dievca was wondering what the difference was and went searching for information. Here’s what she found:

Suggested Game Plan of Opening the Door for a Woman

There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is to ignore it altogether. The other is to  try too hard which makes the offering awkward. The most important thing to remember is to keep your actions simple, be natural and use common sense. Be Aware.

Opening doors for women requires their cooperation. It takes two to tango~

If you get to the door before a woman, just open the door and hold it for her.
Things get awkward when she gets there before you. In these types of situations, opening doors becomes much like a dance. Each sex has a role they need to fill for the operation to work successfully. If the Lady arrives at the door before you or at the same time as you, she should step slightly to one side so that you can open the door without knocking her over.

If she starts opening the door for herself, just pull it further open.

If the Lady arrives at the door first and starts opening it, all one needs to do is to help pull the door open further. Don’t make a big deal about it.

With double doors, open the first door, but not the second.

When there is a door, and then an entryway, and then another door, open the outside door and allow the Woman to step inside the airlock. Then for the second door, do as indicated above, simply help the Woman open the door as she goes through. Note: she may wait inside the space for you to open the second door entirely.

beat-women-to-the-doorDon’t knock her over to get to the door first.

holding-the-doorsThe key to a successful door opening (and good manners in general) is to make it look effortless, if you try too hard to get ahead to open the door, it just looks silly – not suave.

If she doesn’t want the door opened for her, respect that.

Some women will tell you straight up that they don’t like doors opened for them. You have been advised, follow the advisement.

Don’t expect consistency.

A Lady might open several doors for herself in an evening, but then step aside and indicated that she wants you to open the door for her. Pay attention, read her body language. It’s like dancing.

If the door swings in, go through the door first and hold it for her.

Doors that open inwards can prove tricky, the best way to go about them is to go through the door before your date does to hold the door open for her. If she arrives at the door first and begins pushing the door open, stand on the side where the door hinges are and simply extend your arm over her head to take the door’s weight from her as she passes through.

Your duty is to your woman, not the public at large.

If you open the door for your Lady, you are not required to hold the door for everyone else. After your Woman has walked through the door, follow her through. As you pass through the door, look behind you to see if anybody is following close behind and hold the door open long enough for them to take control of the door.

With revolving doors, reach out and slow it down so that she can step in.

Or, traditionally, the Man is supposed to step in first to push the heavier door into rotation. Many Women do not know this, so be aware and follow her lead.

The real reason men hold the door for women.

Holding Doors Regardless of Gender

Holding doors open isn’t something that needs to be done just for Women. It’s an act of common courtesy that you can show to any person whether they be Man or Woman. If you get to the door first before a Guy, holding the door open for him is completely acceptable.

A Gentleman should always hold the door open for someone who is more physically burdened than him. If you see an older person, a person with an obvious physical aliment, or a person holding a crap load of packages, hold the door open for them no matter if they’re a man or a woman.

And if someone opens a door for you, always smile and say, “Thank you!”

 

A Special Thanks to the Art of Manliness blog for excellent information (click here)


13 Comments on “Opening Doors: a bit of an Art”

  1. Pelelotus says:

    Interesting the etiquette of proper door behaviour. Agreed that women should hold the door open for men too. Good manners=respect for all. X

  2. darkgemdom says:

    This was amusing.
    I have a completely different take AND protocol with doors.
    It works perfectly and it is communicated to My “lady”.
    The reasons make perfect sense.

    • dievca says:

      But – you have to share your protocol so we know! Please do. And maybe then we will understand what you think makes “perfect sense”.

      • darkgemdom says:

        My protocol:

        My partner/submissive waits for Me to open door (s) as she’s been directed to do so. So far so good? I open the door and hold for her, however she FOLLOWS Me in, rather then leading the way.
        Reason (not that I need one):
        In My way of living the D/s lifestyle I take great pride and ownership of My purpose in the relationship. One of My responsibilities is to protect My sub. I walk in first to assure there is no danger for My property to encounter.
        I’ll hold the door, but she will follow.
        Makes sense to Me and that’s all W/we need.
        M

      • dievca says:

        Excellent for you and yours! Many of my readers (believe it or not) are not D/s – so I try to offer different things. I love your Dom viewpoint and offering for opening doors. Other men than M open the door for me, daily, and M prefers to be subtle in His actions out in public, hence, the traditional offering. He also prefers elegant collars, clothing, etc. and much prefers when I choose what outfits to honor Him with — it shows I was thinking of Him. Every dynamic runs differently – that’s the joy of Life and BDSM. Accepting differences. I like to hear about the differences, too, so Thank You!

  3. jackiemallon says:

    How quaint but lovely. Some might see it as an act of chivalry, I see it as an act of polite manners. My husband always bemoans the amount of people who never smile or say thank you when he holds the door for them. I ask him if he did it just to receive thanks, and he shrugs. But at the same time, a little thank you doesn’t hurt does it!
    X

    • dievca says:

      I’m with your husband — if you go out of your way to make an effort, a little acknowledgement goes a long way to developing even better manners. I end up holding the door for a lot of people…even though I’m female – sometimes I want to drop the door on them. It’s the entitled NYC attitude — the “I am a God and I expect you to hold the door for me”…what?

  4. esther says:

    the only time(s) i want a door opened for me is 1) if you arrive there first, you open the door, i put my hand on the door to signal, okay, i’ve got it… you can go now, i’ll follow…unless it’s an “older” man, and doesn’t get it…and i have to pass through ahead of the man, ugh! or 2) i am carrying lots of packages and need someone to hold the door open, and then waits for me to go ahead.

    if i get to a door first, i’ll hold the door, check behind me, and keep it open for another woman, or an old person to pass. xx

    • dievca says:

      Just make sure you signal your preferences so your date or friends know! Your desires fall under the “If she doesn’t want the door opened for her, respect that.” category. 😀

  5. zaychishka says:

    I don’t mind opening the door for others, as long as they are polite. If I see someone struggling with a stroller, or walker I can’t resist. And for older grandpaish men, some look so frail! Hehe, I’m just happy when my boyfriend opens the door for me or helps me with my coat. 🙂 but I love the etiquette you laid out because.. There are many who lack it, and need it. And.. It’s not often discussed for how men Can open doors for women.

    • dievca says:

      I always wonder how my amazing friend learned to be so seemless….was it His Father? growing up in the South? Intuitiveness? Whatever it is — he is beautiful to watch in action and I very much appreciate when I benefit from his suave skills. XO

  6. […] she has also spoken about Manners: opening and closing doors. […]


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