Hmmm~Sapio

dievca realized that she needed to find a Dominant who was intelligent enough to keep up with her and move ahead of her, if she was going to trust them.  But she never thought of herself as being pretentious…nor did she realize that Urban Dictionary was sporting the new term sapiosexual

One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.

And she knows for a fact that Master wasn’t looking for this (below), on FetLife:

sapiosexual

dievca thinks that Master was just looking for someone with similar BDSM desires and someone who was relatively sane.  Otherwise, if He wanted someone smarter than Himself — the disappointment must of have been bone-crushing…

Now talking about the term Sapiosexual-

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines sexual orientation as “an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to men, women or both sexes.” These patterns of attraction, they further note, are cross-cultural, exist on a “continuum” and can give rise to a “sense of identity” or “community.”

In every scientific and sociological sense of the term, sapiosexuality is not a sexual orientation. A person who likes writers is not a scribosexual, a person who likes lawyers is not a jurosexual, and a person who loudly proclaims that they only date smart people might be dangerously full of themselves, but they’re not a “sapiosexual.”

Instead, “sapiosexual” seems to circulate primarily as a layer of pretension on top of a more traditional sexual identity. It’s a sexual orientation for people who think that they’re too smart to have a sexual orientation.

But the people who use the term obviously intend it to have some sort of communicative value. A quick browse through OKCupid users who identify as sapiosexual in the New York area, for example, reveals some common themes: they’re young, they’re atheists, they live in Brooklyn, they list philosophical and theoretical texts as their favorite books. If you didn’t know what “sapiosexual” meant before browsing their profiles, you might conclude that it’s a term for the sort of educated millenial that you’d find in a coffee shop on a weekday afternoon.

But even if it accurately describes a type of person, “sapiosexual” has no place being listed as a sexual orientation on one of the world’s premier dating websites. As we did with the metrosexual and the lumbersexual, it’s time to throw the sapiosexual in the bin.

(excerpts from the Daily Beast : Pretentious Is Not A Sexual Orientation)

Post prompted from Refinery 29: What Is Sapiosexual


13 Comments on “Hmmm~Sapio”

  1. 🙂 I’ve seen that word around a lot… but having a connection with someone that stimulates one mentally as well as physically is too special for a generalizing term like that. Great post, D

    • dievca says:

      You know, when I think back through all my relationships…I don’t think that I connected with anyone, well, um, perhaps – not so intelligent. I guess my intelligence radar is pretty well developed. I would say M. might have the highest IQ – but some parts of his EI, are a bit lighter. Laser focus on one subject – then he goes off into non-functioning lala land.

  2. Pelelotus says:

    Intellectual stimulation/ connection is an underrated virtue in any relationship. Glad it has a rather sexy name too. X

    • dievca says:

      It is nice to have a quality conversation at the kitchen table or on the sofa, but I think there has to be a combination of animal attraction, too.
      I know right after D/s, in my odalisque mood – I don’t offer scintillating conversation, either. And I don’t think M. is up for that or needs it – Thank goodness.

  3. Cinn says:

    I’m totally attracted to intelligence ❤️ among other things

  4. Ret MP says:

    If we all start sharing IQ numbers at cocktail parties I’ll start to worry about the rise of this term. I do agree there has to be intellectual connection, chemistry (of varying kinds) but in terms of intelligence— it think this might be coming from the rise of funding college for young women by the sugar-daddy/ escort system. Not paying for sex, but suggesting if one were, it is for the more “noble” reason of intellectual stimulation and the word sapiosexual may be finding it’s way into the various sexual and social networking systems as a method of procuring and screening candidates and reducing judgement on motivations. That being said, I absolutely wish I would have had the maturity and savvy to take advantage of such a system when I was in college.

    • dievca says:

      Whew, I went to a Midwestern college in a depressed area of the country. There was not a Sugar Daddy to be found – snort. I just came off of competing and was over-the moon to sit and be a goofball for awhile. Digging for that intelligence showed up in the science, math and tech classes — it was hidden under the bubbly happiness.

  5. Ret MP says:

    well, mine existed. It was however, working 40 hours a week and going to school full time. No fun at all. ALL BIZZNESS.

    • dievca says:

      Girlfriend — you ARE a Goddess! 40 hours and school. If you were in a Metro area – hello, find a bit of sponsorship. Whew. I just worked a 2nd shift lab job in the Summers and in a dance shop my Junior/Senior year.

  6. Marty says:

    Brains are so sexy


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