breathing deep

Families are interesting.

I flew back, late last night, and went into work early.  My Dad is responsible for his morning and evening feedings, but they are trickier with grinding the pills (liquid forms are not available for everything) – so we “pre-grind”.  That’s fine until Dad spills the cup of the dissolved meds.  No extra am pills ground and a med that needs to be kept in the system isn’t taken. I’m no longer there to help, and the home aid doesn’t come until 4 hours later, and my sibling who lives there doesn’t see the importance or urgency.

Yeah, I was in a panic. And my sibling made me cry. What’s the point of killing yourself to get your Dad out of the hospital only to fail at home?

All this while I was walking in loveliness.
I breathed deep to smell the blossoms – it helped.

Do you think it’s the 15 year difference in age? Or an oldest/youngest issue? Mind you, I’m the youngest – almost like an “only”. Can I have a drink at 9 am? Something more than a mimosa?

tired and the day just started dievča

Photos: dievca 05/2018

16 Comments on “breathing deep”

  1. schroedinger says:

    ❤ You have done so much for your father. I am sorry that it doesn't feel like "enough." I am glad you found a sense of peace and beauty in the early spring flowers. How fitting it is that I thought of you when I walked through a magnificent magnolia blizzard on my front lawn this morning. In the beauty of the petal storm, I thought, "dievca would stop and take a picture, she would savor this moment even in the rush of being late, of being chronically overworked and undercaffeinated." So I did. Thank you for helping me stop to appreciate life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • dievca says:

      Honestly, Catholic Guilt, I could always do more, right? I’m so glad you took a photo, awesome! Is it possible to share a photo on comments? Magnolia trees are so lovely. I know that rushing, no coffee, “I’m just tired” moment. Find your java, fast! And have a lovely day. XO

      Liked by 2 people

      • schroedinger says:

        I don’t think WP allows you to put photos in comments, but trust me, it is gorgeous. 359 days out of the year, the tree is a mostly unchanging presence, hunkered stolidly in front of our house, but then in the space of just a couple of days it spills over with the release of springtime energy 🙂 Wishing you the same burst!

        Liked by 1 person

      • dievca says:

        Such a bummer about not being able to add a photo – but I now have a visual in my head! XO
        Looks like a lovely day, today. Enjoy.


  2. Dievca, I am so sorry you have had these problems and pressures. Your photos are gorgeous. Keep you chin up, I know you will.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cinn says:

    Sending all my love and strength to you my friend ❤️ you’re doing great on this tough walk.
    Gorgeous pics. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your state with me/us

    Liked by 1 person

    • dievca says:

      Thanks Cinn, coming back alive slowly. Adversity always brings out the not-so-pretty-side of people, me included. So, I/we will keep trying.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cinn says:

        I understand. I’m at that time of life too. Fortunately my older siblings do the heavy lifting but my Mom takes everything out on me.
        I try to put myself in her/their shoes.

        Ugh hugs 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

      • dievca says:

        Mom’s can be a trial — just remember, remove the Catholic guilt and its your Mom’s deal, not yours.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The people that surround you may not have your level of compassion.. but you do your best and it will be enough. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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