You are better at expressing your emotions and that does allow you to let off steam.
But I am worried about you because there was a hint of bitterness in the last message.
Sent from Mobile Mail
You are not bitter. That’s not you.
But yes, you seem really tired.
Explosive cyclogenesis (also called a weather bomb, meteorological bomb, explosive development, or bombogenesis) refers in a strict sense to a rapidly deepening extratropical cyclonic low-pressure area.
“Bomb cyclones” or “weather bombs” are wicked winter storms that can rival the strength of hurricanes and are so-called because of the process that creates them: bombogenesis. It’s a mouthful of a meteorology term that refers to a storm (generally a non-tropical one) that intensifies very rapidly.
Can you get a cold upon a cold? Yes. Does it make you sound sexy? Not Really.
Should you get out of the apartment during a snowstorm? Yes.
Should you shovel? No.
Yesterday, dievca woke up to a little bit of snow. In her Midwestern Winter superior tones she texted Master who was in charge of shoveling an elderly friend’s stoop/sidewalk to say, “These sissy NY-ers, they get all wound up about a little snow!”
Later in the morning dievca walked to work:
It ended up a pretty good snowstorm! 10th Ave with the new construction was a Wind Tunnel.
And dievca was happy she wasn’t around to help Master shovel. she did her duty at her Parent’s house the week before. Good news, Master didn’t throw His back out. XO
Hello, how are you doing? I hope my choice of blog reposts these past two weeks were semi-interesting. If nothing else, I had fun going back to read them and revisit the memories.
I didn’t get a chance to read blogs like I thought I would. I ended up researching a graduate program (3rd Master’s degree anyone? We will see), working extra to allow me to travel down South.
The traveling included visiting Families and Friends, learning about myself and watching people react:
- How does one deal with chemo after getting a great check-up with a Doctor who can only give a lukewarm delivery. How many times had that Doctor put their heart on the line, to be shut down?
- Or watching the robust couple who lost (or gained) everything with a brain tumor? The frank discussion of choosing not to do radiation the next time it’s needed.
- I have a tendency to see something in a home that needs done and doing it….it’s invasive, yet, needed. So, I pray that my minor moments of help are seen as a “break” not an offense.
- Talking to college students about their hopes, dreams and drinking across Europe is very entertaining.
- Cuddling with immense dogs is messy and healing.
- All done while eating a whole lot of BBQ and butter~ everything is better with butter.
This watchfulness and self-reflection of family relationships, relationships and friendships triggered a review of what I want for the future, what I want for my Life and why I want things. I know that I am not in need, but what would fulfill me?
I don’t have any hard conclusions, but I’d like to share information I’ve pondered.
Assess your friend network
Research shows that having a strong network of relationships is vital to our health.
It’s harder to make friends as we get older.
Tereasa Jones, who has a master’s degree in counseling and is a certified life coach who specializes in friendship coaching, had suggestions about how to make new friends as an adult..
According to Jones, we all move through a variety of interpersonal relationships on a daily basis.
- “Intimates” are the lifelines you can call at 3 a.m. with an emergency.
- “Friends” you spend time with, but maybe don’t share every detail of your life
- “Friendly acquaintances” are people you know you like and whom you see on a regular basis in a particular setting, like work or the yoga studio. They’re the ones you’ve considered inviting out for coffee, but never have.
- “Acquaintances” are people you’re friendly with in passing, at the store, the gym, in the elevator.
I asked myself which of these categories am I missing in my life?
None, but changes can be considered.
I have a lot of “friendly acquaintances” and “friends” by default – there is always someone I can ask to meet for coffee, a movie, a museum, talk about an issue, ask advice. And I do have a core set of “intimate friends” whom I connect with consistently, but most of them live in different states/countries….
That might be the group I need to address, locally.
It’s tough as an adult to find the time, desire and say “yes” to the odd activity, but as Amy Silverstein suggests:
Sometimes friendship is just about showing up
“Don’t be afraid to show up….Push yourself a little bit, when you sense that you’re needed. Show up with an open mind to be there in any way that your friend needs: to let her yell, cry, not say anything at all, [or to] just hold her hand.”
I’m well aware that in most cases you receive what you give.
Yes, there are the odd circumstances where you get taken advantage of….but if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open. You should be o.k.
If I keep my eyes, ears and heart open. I should be o.k.
Wish me Luck!
How is your friend situation looking? Any way you can push away from the BBQ and butter to meet someone new? Let me know about it!
Thank you to Annaliese Griffin from Well & Good
And an interesting read from a Guy's Viewpoint.
dievca’s reaction to Master, this week, prompted an analysis.
Oddly enough, the analysis started with the Rolling Stones:
- The act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings of another is known as sympathy. Empathy, on the other hand, not only is an identification of sorts but also connotes and awareness of one’s separateness from the observed. One of the most difficult tasks put upon man is reflective commitment to another’s problem while maintaining his own identity.
—Journal of the American Medical Association, 24 May 1958
Hmmm — a tough go. Let’s clarify:
In 1909, the psychologist Edward Titchener translated the German Einfühlung (‘feeling into’) into English as ‘empathy’. Empathy can be defined as a person’s ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person, fictional character, or sentient being. It involves, first, seeing someone else’s situation from their perspective, and, second, sharing their emotions, including, if any, their distress.
Empathy is often confused with pity, sympathy, and compassion, which are each reactions to the plight of others.
Pity is a feeling of discomfort at the distress of one or more sentient beings, and often has paternalistic or condescending overtones. Implicit in the notion of pity is that its object does not deserve its plight, and, moreover, is unable to prevent, reverse, or overturn it. Pity is less engaged than empathy, sympathy, or compassion, amounting to little more than a conscious acknowledgement of the plight of its object.
Sympathy (‘fellow feeling’, ‘community of feeling’) is a feeling of care and concern for someone, often someone close, accompanied by a wish to see him better off or happier. Compared to pity, sympathy implies a greater sense of shared similarities together with a more profound personal engagement. However, sympathy, unlike empathy, does not involve a shared perspective or shared emotions, and while the facial expressions of sympathy do convey caring and concern, they do not convey shared distress. Sympathy and empathy can lead to each other, but not always. It is possible to sympathize with such things as hedgehogs and ladybirds, but not, strictly speaking, to empathize with them. Conversely, psychopaths with absolutely no sympathy for their victims can nonetheless make use of empathy to snare or torture them. Sympathy should also be distinguished from benevolence, which is a much more detached and impartial attitude.
Compassion (‘suffering with’) is more engaged than simple empathy, and is associated with an active desire to alleviate the suffering of its object. With empathy, “I share your emotions”; with compassion, “I not only share your emotions but also elevate them into a universal and transcending experience”. Compassion, which can be built upon empathy, is one of the main motivators of altruism.
An act of Human Involvement on any level (micro or macro):
According to Master, dievca has a lot of empathy for her fellow-man.
But in a certain case, she could only offer her pity.
dievca is sorry…..mmmmmm….
….if that song from Monday has been stuck in your head all week. (here’s why)
It’s been stuck in her head, too.
It’s an “EarWorm”.
An earworm, sometimes known as a brainworm, sticky music, or stuck song syndrome, is a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person’s mind after it is no longer playing. Phrases used to describe an earworm include “musical imagery repetition”, “involuntary musical imagery”, and “stuck song syndrome” (wiki)
Which brought up this song:
Which may be an Earworm in of itself.
Why do we run into EarWorms?
TED Talks: Earworms: Those songs that get stuck in your head – Elizabeth Hellmuth Margulis (4 min 45 sec)
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY: Tunes Stuck In Your Head: You May Have An Earworm – The Science behind Haunting Melodies
What are your Earworms?
Umm, it could be a subtle form of S & M.
Do you love picnics?
Is it still warm by you?
Nice for a bike ride and a meal?
Originally spotted in a Scandinavian Liquor Store while sourcing a local liquor as a gift. The first offering’s name is stellar!:
Then found in a local NYC sandwich shop (‘wichCraft):
dievca loves picnics and is intrigued by the convenience of a canned wine. But she’s leery to waste her money and taste buds on bad wine.
Has anyone given them a try?
There are some words that defy definition in the English Language – yet are so right for a situation. One “hot” word comes to mind:
Hygge (Danish) is a word used when acknowledging a feeling or moment, whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary as cosy, charming or special.
Which seems very similar to:
Gezelligheid (Dutch), a word that depending on context can be translated as convivial, cozy, fun, or nice atmosphere, but can also show someone belonging, time spent with loved ones, the fact of seeing a friend after a long absence, or the general togetherness that gives people a warm feeling.
That said, here are some words that don’t translate easily to the English language, yet convey some very important concepts in relationships.
Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who wish to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.
Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. A “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship.
Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.
Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time.
Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.
Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.
Ya’aburnee (Arabic): “You bury me.” One’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
Forelsket: (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.
Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
Thank you to Pamela Haag Psychology Today Article (here) with photos and additions by dievca.