Well said…

“People who believe prettiness equals beauty do not understand beauty,” she continued. “Pretty is easy on the eyes, partly because it’s a little bland, inoffensive. It’s easy to take in and easy to forget. Not so beauty. Beauty can be sharp. It can wound you and leave a scar. To perceive beauty you have to be able to SEE.”

“This is why I believe we get more beautiful with age,” she added. “We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better. There is no such thing as ugly and old. Only shortsighted and ignorant.” — Paulina Porizkova

dievca’s WaterWorks class is leaning towards geriatric…  she looks at the participants and sees her future.  The Ladies?   Amazing.  Some in their 60’s and 70’s, a couple in their 80’s — they are moving and absolutely beautiful, plus (even better) kind.  They ask about dievca’s knee, her work, talk to her about their lives.  They are engaged in the World.  All in Swimsuits.

And none of the class looks like this:

Paulina Pori

RickARoo777 is a moron. Paulina is looking amazing and, yes, better than her younger self because she has lived.


Laying low today~

black catdievca is a walking mess this morning. she went to the Chicago Cubs/New York Mets game last night and got home late. That lack of sleep has made this day slightly dangerous (almost got hit on the bike, hit a pothole, almost slammed by the elevator doors, tripped on some stairs, etc.) – so she is lying low. Taking it easy. Nothing is a rush. She will try again tomorrow.


Needed a moment (again) to regroup

vivienne-westwood Lingerie BDSM
A long weekend – a college friend has chosen not to operate on their cancer due to quality of Life and has five years. This is where you find out what speaks to you in Life and you do it.

Photo: Vivienne Westwood Lingerie BDSM

There’s name for it = Realistic Optimist

Glass water

Master and His dievca were sharing sushi on the rooftop when dievca mention that she figured out where she fits with her personal outlook (philosophy). she always thought she was just a “realist”, but realized she isn’t very cynical. Then she ran into this tidbit:

This Personality Type Is Linked to Success and Happiness
By Tia Ghose published August 23, 2013

Are you a “glass-half-full” or a “glass-half-empty” kind of person?

As it turns out, some people can be both. So-called realistic optimists combine the positive outlook of optimists with the clear-eyed perspective of pessimists, new research has found.

These realistic optimists may get the best of both worlds, using their realism to perform better at work and elsewhere, but aren’t getting bogged down by unhappiness, said Sophia Chou, an organizational psychology researcher at National Taiwan University, who presented her findings at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Honolulu, Hawaii. [7 Things That Will Make You Happy]

Past research has shown that optimists value thoughts that make them feel good about themselves, whereas pessimists prize a more truthful vision of themselves. But a clear-eyed view can be bad for pessimists’ well-being, as they tend to be more prone to depression, Chou said.

Optimists tend to live longer and be healthier overall.

After several years working in business, Chou noticed there were some people who were both optimistic and realistic, and that they tended to be very successful. She wondered whether realism and optimism were really diametrically opposed.

So Chou administered a battery of personality surveys to about 200 college and graduate students in Taiwan. The surveys tested how many “positive illusions” the students held, as well as whether they were more motivated by self-enhancement or reality.

Realistic views

The optimists were sorted into two camps: the realists and the idealists.

“Realistic optimists tend to choose accuracy over self-enhancement; the unrealistic optimists tend to choose self-enhancement,” Chou said.

Interestingly, the realistic optimists also got better grades, on average, than their less grounded peers — probably because they didn’t delude themselves into thinking they would do well without studying or working hard, Chou said.

Traditionally, a more realistic outlook is paired with poorer well-being and greater depression, yet the realistic optimists managed to be happy. To understand why, she dug deeper into the personality assessments.

Self-control key

She found that realistic optimists believed they had more self-control and control over their interpersonal relationships.

“Every time they face an issue or a challenge or a problem, they won’t say ‘I have no choice and this is the only thing I can do.’ They will be creative, they will have a plan A, plan B and plan C,” Chou said.

That allows them to stay cheery and upbeat about the future, even if they recognize the challenges of the present.

Being a realistic optimist does have one downside, however: They are more prone to anxiety than their completely unrealistic peers. That’s likely because they recognize the possibility of failure, whereas their counterparts use positive illusions to ease their anxiety, Chou said.

The findings suggest that realistic and unrealistic optimists may actually be very different personality types, Chou said.

In order to cultivate a rosy-but-realistic outlook, people should maintain a clear-eyed view of reality, but emphasize what they can control in most situations, she said.

dievca’s Master has a different take on Himself:
“Idealistic Realism”
An idealistic realist is a realist who understands the realms of possibility but also sees his idealism as a potential reality. You work towards an Ideal knowing the Realities.

By the way – the question of the glass-half-full/empty always baffled dievca – perhaps it is her “realist” tendencies or her Science background – this is her answer:

Glass tech


Amazing

PT bumper sticker

Someone who helps me figure out which muscles are failing.

Someone who helps me fire up those muscles, again.

Someone who digs into my muscles to get the fascia to release.

Someone who assists my game plan for moving better.

SIGN ME UP!

Our dievca had her first PT session and felt the benefits immediately and almost cried with Joy.

Master voiced dievca’s thoughts that returning to a physical training process brought trust, release, and relief.


Words of Wisdom: Elderly Parents on Aging.

So, a total knee replacement is in dievca’s future. But, the chipped knee cap and the floating bone piece, and the osteoarthritis behind the kneecap are the culprits for the current swelling and ligament strains.  Physical Therapy, 1st.  If that’s not enough, removal of bone chip 2nd.  dievca is looking to get into a study for cartilage replacement – maybe? Then knee replacement 4th?

As dievca’s Mom said, “It’s hell to get old.”‘

dievca’s Dad said, “Just keep moving!”

Smile.


Spring Colds (elfje)

asian-little-child-hands-pulling-sharing-white-tissue-paper-box-128262333Sneezing
Leaky Nose
Four Years Old
She grabbed my hand
Love

Common Colds can be caused by over 200 different viruses. These viruses can enter your body when you come in contact with a person who is already sick with a virus. Since most cold viruses are spread through respiratory droplets, covering coughs and sneezes and proper hand washing are extremely important to prevent spreading your cold to others around you.

When your immune system recognizes that there is a cold virus present, it begins to attack it. Your body experiences “side effects” of this attack, like congestion and cough. When your immune system successfully fights off the virus, symptoms resolve. Most colds will last 5 to 7 days.

Allergies, unlike colds, are not contagious.  They are caused by exposure to allergens; such as dust, dander, mold, or pollen. When your immune system senses a specific allergen it is sensitive to, chemicals called histamines are released. These histamines trigger symptoms like runny nose, coughing, and sneezing. Since your immune system has no way of fighting off the allergens, symptoms caused by allergies tend to last much longer than symptoms from a common, viral cold.

Differences between a cold and allergies:

Characteristics

Cold

Allergy

Duration

3-14   days

Days to months, as long as there is continued exposure to the allergen

Time of   Year

Commonly during the winter, but possible at any time.

Any time of year, but some allergens appear seasonally.

Onset of   Symptoms

A few days after infection with a virus

Immediately after exposure to the allergen.

Symptoms

Cold

Allergy

Cough

Often

Sometimes

Aches

Sometimes

Never

Fatigue

Sometimes

Sometimes

Fever

Sometimes

Never

Itchy.  watery eyes

Rarely

Often

Sore Throat

Often

Sometimes

Runny or  stuffy nose

Often (usually thicker discharge)

Often (usually thinner discharge)

Thank you to PhysicianOne Urgent Care Website


Reflecting with Mom’s birthday and…

Marilyn Monroe Birthday Cake

doing Tedious Tidbits.

  • Organizing receipts for taxes
  • Cleaning house for the week
  • Making meals for the week
  • Switching phones
  • Switching computers
  • Switch SIM cards on tablet
  • Mailing two international packages

We all have things that need to get done – but they aren’t that important so you push them off…

The good news is dievca is starting to take care of those tedious things she let go during dealing with her Mom/ Dad. 

Next her focus moves on to selfcare: dry heels, waxing, mani/pedi, haircut, swimming, skin discoloration on cheek, cronic swollen knee, updated eye exam, hormones check, etc.

So, how are you doing with your petty chores?


take a spin with me

Into the wild World of Pop Culture, Fashion and ending up in “Memory-ville”.

Daniel Day (born August 8, 1944), known as Dapper Dan, is an American fashion designer and haberdasher from Harlem, New York. His influential store, Dapper Dan’s Boutique, operated from 1982–92 and is most associated with introducing high fashion to the hip hop world, with his clients over the years including Eric B. & Rakim, Salt-N-Pepa, LL Cool J, and Jay-Z. In 2017, he launched a fashion line with Gucci, with which he opened a second store and atelier, Dapper Dan’s of Harlem, in 2018.

Lent his creativity to the Gap for an arch logo hoodie, to be sold for $98.

The sweatshirt supposedly sold out immediately on its March 10th, 4 pm release.

It’s now on eBay for $898.88.

When dievca was looking on eBay for the Sweatshirt — this 1970 PlaysKool Dapper Dan Doll appeared:

Dapper Dan Playskool 1970

Which prompted a flashback to dievca’s own Dressy Bessy 1970 PlaysKool Doll:

dievca thought all of her Flashback moments were done when she completed clearing her Mom/ Dad’s house, but apparently there are still memories to be found in the depths. she has a sense of what the doll felt like, what the fabric was, how heavy it was and how irritating it was because the clothes didn’t come off. dievca would almost like to buy another Dressy Bessy on eBay to see if her memories are correct.  

Did anyone else have a Dapper Dan or Dressy Bessy doll?
Are dievca’s memories correct?

Is anyone willing to pay $889.88 for a Dapper Dan GAP sweatshirt?


The return of Cocktail Attire – dievca’s dilemma

Retrofete Grace Dress in Chocolate.

Does this dress work as Cocktail Attire?

Cocktail attire is meant to bridge the gap between day and night.  It is still an occasion to dress up, but a full-length gown is not necessary. This merges the silhouette of a garden party dress (shorter) with the fabric and embellishments of a formal gown. Think somewhere between a sophisticated formal occasion and office or party wear.

Still, with so much ambiguity, cocktail attire could mean different things depending on the venue, the time of day, and the season.

During the day, think natural colors and fresh styles and in the evening, feel free to utilize darker hues and embellishments such as sequins or feathers (so long as your dress doesn’t sweep the floor).  The goal is to look polished and dressy – but not takeaway from the event

Ladies: When in doubt, a LBD, a pair of sensible heels or dressy flats, some nice earrings, and a classy clutch will always work for a cocktail event, no matter the venue or time of day. In addition to a traditional cocktail dress, women can also wear dressy suits or nice jumpsuits paired with heels or formal flats.

Gentlemen: a suit and tie are required for cocktail attire. Go with darker hues in chillier months or for evening events, but feel free to wear lighter grays or blues in warmer weather or for daytime celebrations. As for shoes, keep it classy with a nice pair of dark dress shoes that match your belt.

OK – now dievca’s dilemma — does she wear the Retrofete Grace Dress in Chocolate (above photo) or not?  It’s a quieter color, but completely covered in sequins….

  • The venue is a smaller Event Space.
  • A Mixed Audience.
  • The dress fits very well.
  • It’s in the middle of March – Weather could be cold or warm…

Here’s  plan: dievca will be trying on the dress with ACNE STUDIOS snakeskin sandals if its warm and carry the brown JALDA croc clutch (her’s is darker than the photo)

Acne Studios Bastion Viper Slingbacks

Jalda Brown Crocodile "original" clutch rounded
If its cold or dievca’s legs look scary without sun… Sheer Nude or Brown stockings with Brown Heels or OTK Brown Boots.

vintage-suede-over-the-knee-boots-neiman-marcus-brown

what_katie_did_seamed_stockings.ct_nudegianvito-rossi-brown-gianvito-pumps-


A submissive re-evaluation

elegant submissiveMaster is traveling and dievca has had some open time to review her Life and changes in the past 2 years. Between COVID, deaths, aging – Master and dievca’s relationship has changed. And as body changes, social changes and family changes have eased – she’s wondering what will return or diminish.

dievca is starting her reflection process by defining the type of Relationship Master and dievca had at the beginning. Then she plans to review where she thinks they are now. Finally, she will communicate her analysis to Master and listen to His thoughts and wants for the future.

9 Types of submissives:

  • The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
    Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms for the masochist’s own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one’s own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism).
  • Pseudo-submissive non-slave
    Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
  • Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
    Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
  • True submissive non-slave
    Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
  • True submissive PLAY slave
    Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one’s partner’s sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)
  • Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
    Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one’s Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.
  • Part-time consensual but REAL slave
    Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress’/Master’s “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life – practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one’s time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave’s free time.
  • Full-time live-in consensual slave
    Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress’/Master’s use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren’t socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
  • Consensual total slave with no limits
    A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn’t exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

© 1984, 1988 by Mistress Diane Vera as reprinted in
Pat Califia, ed. The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual (Boston: Lace / Alyson) pp. 69-71
A Thank You to SluttyGirlProblem – Victoria Sparrow and Officer Wes for the information that made dievca start to think.
www.officerwes.com © 1997-2021 by Officer Wes


Feeling Green (as it snows in NYC)

dievca has found herself gravitating towards a lot of Green – her recent purchases have triggered an analysis of her closet…she has a LOT of green. she wears a LOT of green. she would like a LOT of green.  It’s a bit of a strange color – but its something that works with her coloring.

Here’s the recent purchases:

On top of what she owns:

Add what she would like:

Quite overwhelming, huh?


Looking at yourself with the sense of being ridiculous…

Around the age of 37, dievca starting to become obsessive about matching underwear.  The underwear itself matched and the underwear would match or contrast, in a pleasing manner, with an outfit.  

Then she was matching her bags (backpacks mostly) to her outfits. Her gloves and hats always match.

This matching process has recently gotten worse.

Hydro flask Colors

dievca is matching her coffee thermos or water bottle to her outfit.

Collina Strada Green Rhinestone Water BottleWhen did she realize that she was doing this? When she moved her coffee from a green hydroflask to a blue one before leaving for work because she was wearing blue.  And when it was commented that her green rhinestone water bottle matched her sweater and coat another day.

Is this a control issue? A statement? A way to be soothing?

Does dievca feel ugly, so she is trying to present herself in a more organized manner?

Jesus – who knows. It’s bizarre and so unimportant in the context of Life. But, she finds herself doing it.

Ridiculous.


A lovely thought, but:

Businesswoman relaxing aboard private jet

  • dievca’s flight is too short
  • The small plane probably doesn’t have Champagne on board
  • dievca will be wearing a 3M N95 mask (she’s not sure all of the caregivers are vaxxed)
  • dievca has to drive to get to her Mom

Please have a flute of bubbly 🍾 for her, ok? (dievca’s Mom or dievca)  dievca will be praying there is a bottle of wine leftover from her last visit 🍷 XO


The New Comfort: Who does it best? (Chantelle, Knix, EBY)

Back in the Day (November 17, 2013 to be exact) dievca found Lingerie Comfort with Hanky Panky – In the 8 years since – the rubber has pulled out of the lace, there are holes and many pieces of dievca’s Hanky Panky have been retired.  she hasn’t bought anymore and she’s glad that she didn’t because she’s moved on to a set of Chantelle SoftStretch in Leopard Print ($54/$20):

20211123_130603

A new level of comfort has been found!
A new “go to” brand for the 3 C’s: Color, Comfort and Curves!

That said, dievca bought three additional sets of comfort underwear- one from Chantelle in Forest Green ($58/$20), one from EBY (Empowered By You – a “do good” business) – in Blue Meadow ($48/$22)  and a final set from the Canadian Brand “Knix” LuxeLift in an Anna Sui collaboration pattern ModFloral ($50/$25):

20211123_130449

Here’s the ranking:

  1. CHANTELLE – The SuperSoft fabric is….super soft, yet the bra’s hold up the girls well.  The bra padding is not removable, but it isn’t too overwhelming either – no strange shapes.  The fabric is very smooth and very comfortable.
  2. KNIX – The knix set starts out awkward to put on, but then molds nicely to the body. dievca wore the set with the removable bra pads inserted, she’ll try the top without them next time.  The bra pads looked fine, they did add a little bit of extra when dievca does not need it. There were a couple of seamed rubbing “hotspots” that disappeared as the day went on.
  3. EBY – The EBY set was easy to put on, but the cut of the bra armholes is high.  That is where the seams on the sides of the bra rubbed dievca, all day – she had to keep adjusting the irritation point. Was it horrible? No – just there.  Maybe it will disappear with washing.  The bra cups are removable and in dievca’s case not necessary – but they didn’t look strange. she will try wihtout the pads on the next round – maybe that will stop the rubbing.  The bottoms were very comfortable.

Conclustion – all three (four sets) are nice, but the little bit extra you pay for the CHANTELLE set(s) is worth it.


female erogenous zones

sexy backBreaking down what partners might overlook.

One 2016 study found that the entire body had erogenous potential (happy news for Master and His dievca who love to touch). Note, there are frequent commonalities that are worth exploring.

One 2014 study found that the clitoris and the nipples are the most sensitive to both pressure and vibration (go figure). But, the areas found to be most sensitive to “light touch,” were the neck, forearm, and vaginal margin (the area just at the end of the vaginal opening and at the beginning of the perineum).

A study published in June 2020 used heat maps to show where men and women considered their erogenous zones, based on how aroused they became from appearance alone and then touch alone, as well as how the arousal changed whether they engaged in solo play or with a partner. Women consistently ranked the genital area, breasts, butt, and inner thighs high for touch, though the shoulders, hips, and the back of the neck were also shown consideration.

The study also examined what women consider to be men’s erogenous zones, and vice versa—and while most findings line up, it does show there are areas that might be missed for stimulation. Areas like the neck, inner thighs, and upper back, were ranked erogenous by women in the study, if slightly lower on the scale than the breasts, genitals, and butt.

According to a paper published in 2012, other areas include the mouth, ears, lower back, head and hair, and even—for some people behind the knee.

Maybe we should just take time with our partners and explore their whole bodies to determine their favorite erogenous zones – it won’t be time wasted~

Further Reading – links to related studies in order:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0745-z

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/jsm.12547

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01756-1

Click to access Reports%20of%20intimate%20touch%20%20Erogenous%20zones%20and%20somatosensory%20cortical%20-%20Turnbull%20Erogenous%20Cortex%202013.pdf

A “Thank You” to Rebecca Decynzski from the Maudern


Santa Lingerie – a discussion

Santa lingerie has permeated our culture.  You can probably picture the garments in question: cherry-red babydoll nightie with white fur trim lining the hem, paired with matching thong, or maybe a red satin and white fur teddy.

miss-santa-dress-string

How did lingerie evoking Santa, a wholesome and kindly childhood figure whose presence signals a religious virgin birth, get so popular?

Undergarments for women have long been costume-like, and were often meant to dramatically alter female silhouettes. (Whalebone corsets, giant hoops worn under crinoline skirts, a bustle.) Bloomers and petticoats might look dowdy and utilitarian, but eroticizing lingerie isn’t a new trend. Lingerie really started becoming more decorative and luxurious in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

In1898, after noting a “mania” for colourful, decorative and seductive lingerie throughout Europe, the French journalist Octave Uzanne wrote, “the last remains of feminine modesty sunk out of sight.”

But underwear as a costume is a newer phenomenon. It might be linked with the provocative “underwear as outerwear” period of the 1980s and 90s. At the end of the 20th century, seeing visible underwear became more shocking than the nude body. An example is Madonna’s “Blonde Ambition” cone bra.

That’s the culture that led up to the “fast fashion” lingerie that was so popular in the early 2000s. And the inexpensive “Halloween Slutty” and “Santa Baby” costumes multiplied.

Santa may be a wholesome concept, but he is asking people to sit on his lap, he’s keeping a naughty and nice list, there are songs about Santa kissing women when he comes to visit, people are getting cozy with fur and sitting by a fire, and let’s not forget the unknown quantity of Ms. Santa Claus.   Perhaps people who buy Santa lingerie are buying into the commercialized, sexualized lens of those forces~

sexy-santa-lingerie-ad-australia_188170-bab361a


Bondage through another’s eyes – 3 pieces of Man Ray

Man-Ray-Woman-in-Mask-and-Handcuffs-1928

Artist and photographer, Man Ray, made several sadomasochistic photos in his career in the 1920s and 1930s. He was a devotee to the works of the Marquis de Sade, and created portraits of the Marquis. Man Ray was one of many artists seeking truth through extreme mental and physical states.

Man Ray’s 1930 Gloved Figure exemplifies the relationship between sadomasochism and mysticism. The photograph features a figure clad in  suede elbow-length gloves, and a matching suede mask. The mask and gloves have been carefully constructed out of the same light-coloured suede material and appear to fit snugly over the model’s face and hands, suggesting that they were made specifically for this shoot based on the model’s exact measurements. The model’s hands are pulled above their head and are attached to a metal chain hanging from the ceiling with a pair of handcuffs. The model is clearly in the masochistic position, their sense of sight and hearing deprived by the mask and their ability to move severely, if not completely, hindered by the handcuffs and chain, which leaves them seemingly suspended from the ceiling.

Man-Ray-Woman-in-Bondage-c1930

Man Ray made a strong connection between artistic prowess and masculine prowess, specifically power over women; the bohemian machismo.

Created in 1930, the Fetishistic Mise-en-scène for William Seabrook series was considered so perverse it was only widely released to the public in 1994.  As the title suggests, the series was created by Man Ray at the request of Seabrook.  They worked together to  bring Seabrook’s fantasies to life, male voyeurism and the fetishization of lesbianism for male pleasure.

Man Ray doesn’t seem entirely comfortable with Seabrook’s world,  hence the less intimate cropping. He seems to prefer his sadism to be spontaneous outbursts of passion, not the meticulously planned, “perverse” scenarios of Seabrook.

A "Thank You" to Man Ray, Audrey Warne. Peter Tupper


Conservation of Energy

john-everard-study-of-nude-nude-lady-outdoors-photogravure-1940

The last rays of summer touch my body – casting a golden glow over my skin.
Can I carry that absorbed energy within throughout the winter?
Or will it dissipate with the first snow?

Photo: John Everard 1940

Disconnection

2-Dreamlike-underwater-photography

A day of little sleep.
A day of barely functioning.
A day of minimal production.
A day of of waste?
Or was it a day of healing?

~putting one foot in front of the other~

Photo: Lane Coder - Underwater Photography

Coming up for Air

20210919_225042

It was a quick trip to Mom, 4 days.  Packed a lot into the time. POA shift, moved Mom on to hospice, need a new hospital bed – motor died (made do with a log and seat cushion to change the angles for Mom), attempted to get quality WiFi (need a new router), attempted to get the gardens/yard into some semblance of order (including picking up 15 cigarette butts on the driveway from a caregiver – what is wrong with people. Are they born in a barn? We have a cigarette repository out there.), maintenance man/snow removal man is no longer working – looking for help (Note his kid moved away and they no longer need to store his classic car in the garage…hmmm? Maybe that had something to do with being unavailable…), cleaned the odd places in the house and the upstairs as best as possible.

Grocery shopped at night and saw ⇑⇑⇑ the MOON!

It’s Full this Evening.  Don’t forget to shake your wallet at the Moon!

And think of dievca flying home late tonight. XO


Cashmere and Nipples

MoS2 Template Master
For a submissive (or partner) who has sensitive nipples – tactile play can become very erotic. Seeing hard nipples erupt through a soft sweater is inviting and enticing. Touching and playing with those nipples – may shoot Joy through both Top and bottom.
sweater nipples
If you cannot get your nipples to harden by cold or pinching and want to visually please your partner there are:

nipple enhancers

Nipple Enhancers

women-model-hard-nipples-white-sweater-wallpaper-thumb

And if you don’t have access to nipples at the moment – you can create a boob handwarmer with upcycled cashmere (click photo for link)!

Cashmere Breast Handwarmer


And the Southwest squirted dievca back

20210819_062605

to the West Coast.  Rain in Sedona, AZ – Taos, NM – Albuquerque, NM – Flagstaff, AZ squirted dievca back to the West Coast.  Maybe dievca is a “rainmaker”.  Those rains were mostly good soaking rains (except for Flagstaff), not enough to help with the drought, but better than nothing. 

This afternoon should offer some sun. Stay cool, stay dry! XO

Photo: dievca: Morning on Coronado  08/2021


Boobs

cosmo-howyourboobschangeovertime-infographic-1-1475183174

Your breasts grow and grow and grow during puberty, but by the time you’re between 18 and 20, breasts are usually “fully developed,” or finished growing. This doesn’t mean that the size of your breasts at age 18 are the size your breasts will be forever. Hormonal changes, weight loss, and weight gain can all have an effect on the size of your breasts.

After puberty and before pregnancy (if you become pregnant) is when your breasts are likely to appear the fullest. The two main things that give your breasts a shape and size are fat and fibrous connective tissue. After your breasts have finished developing your breasts are likely composed of more fibrous tissue than fatty tissue. Genetics have a hand in breast composition too. If your mom and grandma and grandma’s grandma all have very dense, fibrous breasts, you likely will too.

Gravity is a very real scientific force that no one on this planet can escape. Breasts can be heavy, gravity pulls down on heavy things, and this means your breasts may start showing gravity’s effects when you’re in your 40s. The second thing is that skin loses elasticity as it ages, so with the combined effect of gravity, it’s not unlikely that your breasts will sit lower on your chest. The third thing? Breasts get fattier, they’ll start to feel less dense in your 40s than they did when you were 23 or 33. They’ll look less full as a result, and the fullest part of them will sit lower on your chest.
Some women actually see an increase in breast size after menopause. That increase in size is caused by a few things: general weight gain all over the body, increased water retention, and a change in hormone levels. As with pre-menopause, breasts will be even less dense and composed of more fatty than fibrous tissue at this stage. This means the fullest part of your breasts will sit lower on your chest than it did before.

Even though most people’s breasts go through these same basic stages, you’d still be incredibly hard-pressed to find your exact booby twin roaming around in this world.

Maybe this tea towel will help!

All Shapes of Beauty Tea Towel $18 Uncommon Goods

All Shapes of Beauty Tea Towel $18 Uncommon Goods (click photo to purchase)

A Thank You to Cosmo Magazine, the New York Times and dievca’s Doctor.


Secure, Anxious, Avoidant = Attachment Styles. Where do you fall?

attachmentUniversity of Denver researchers Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver were the first to study how attachment styles may come into play with romantic relationships. They published their findings in 1987. The original theory was developed by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 20th century. Bowlby theorized that an infant’s access (and perceived) access to a parental figure results in how safe and protected they feel.

If you would like to determine your attachment style, please click here!

Secure
A secure attachment is an ideal in a healthy, supportive relationship, and the majority of adults fall in line with it. Hazan and Shaver’s research stated that  56% of participants identified as having secure attachments. A secure attachment means being able to accept and support partners even despite their faults and generally feeling happy and trusting of partners. If you have a secure attachment, you’re likely good at communicating—an important skill in a relationship and the bedroom. Compared to other styles, secure attachments are more likely to have longer-term relationships.

Anxious
Of the three attachment styles, anxious types are most likely to fall in love at first sight. According to Hazan and Shaver’s research, 19% of people identify as having this kind of attachment, which is prone to obsessive feelings and a need for reciprocation and higher rates than other styles. They are, however, more likely to be accepting of a partner’s faults than others—which can sometimes come at a cost. When it comes to intimacy, this type is a natural giver, but they can benefit from receiving too—they’re perfectly worthy, after all.

Avoidant
If you describe your love life as “an emotional rollercoaster,” you may be an avoidant attachment person. A quarter of participants in Hazan and Shaver’s research identified this type, which is characterized by having a fear of intimacy, and “emotional highs and lows.” That doesn’t mean that this type doesn’t feel attraction —they rate the same as secure types in this regard, according to Hazan and Shaver. They’re also likely to feel jealousy, though maybe not as intensely as those with anxious attachment styles. Learning how to put their walls down—even just a little—can prove most beneficial for this type. A little vulnerability may lead to more security down the line.


a shift

naked-patriotic-woman-wrapped-in-american-flag-mugs

There were a number of years where it was awkward to be from the United States.  Explaining choices made by the general public to individuals from other countries got to be tiring. dievca found herself  slipping into the “you cannot figure out what country I am from” behavior.  It was just easier.

Now?

she starting to feel a bit more patriotic.

coffee cup from Society 6


Where do you fall?

sleep-junky-night-owl-vs-early-bird-genetics

Graphic from sleepjunkie.com

Research shows we are actually genetically predisposed to be either a morning or an evening person. According to chronobiology (the study of time in living things), cells in everything from plants to people work on their own internal ‘clock’.

So, when you had a Father who woke up at 4 am every morning for years after driving the boys to hockey practice and a Mother who stayed up reading or doing chores until 1 am and would still prefer that schedule, where does a dievca fall on that genetic predisposition?  Note: One brother is up at 4 am, the other is up until 2 am…

This question is lurking in dievca’s mind as she tries to get better quality sleep during her perimenopause phase…

Well~ work dictates and this Summer is asking for 6 am starts~

dievca will follow her Dad’s guidance and be an Early Bird – at least until she catches her second wind at 10 pm one night throw the best laid plans into Night Owl mode.


Staying cool with watermelon & LOEWE

Watermelon is a delicious and refreshing fruit that’s also good for you.

It contains only 46 calories per cup but is high in vitamin C, vitamin A and many healthy plant compounds.

  1. Helps you hydrate
  2. Contains:
    • Vitamin C: 21% of the Reference Daily Intake (RDI)
    • Vitamin A: 18% of the RDI
    • Potassium: 5% of the RDI
    • Magnesium: 4% of the RDI
    • Vitamins B1, B5 and B6: 3% of the RDI

    Watermelon is also high in carotenoids, including beta-carotene and lycopene. Plus, it has citrulline, an important amino acid.

  3. Contains compounds that may fight cancer
  4. May improve heart health
  5. May lower inflammation and oxidative stress
  6. May help prevent Macular Degeneration
  7. May help muscle soreness
  8. Is good for skin and hair
  9. Can improve digestion

While eating your way to health – it might be fun to wear a Watermelon via LOEWE!


What a girl (dievca) wants~

Vintage Bubble Bath
Taking a tub was a delight this weekend. The Roosevelt Island Graduate Hotel offered a Kohler Soaking Tub ($4250). It was the perfect size. Too bad that dievca got water in her ear and is battling an ear infection. But, now she knows what type of tub to buy for the future. XO (click photo below for a link)
Kohler-K-8336-Ceric-65_-Lithocast-Gloss-Soaking-Tub-for-Freestanding


So trite…

adjective
  1. (of a remark, opinion, or idea) overused and consequently of little import; lacking originality or freshness.

dievca ended up in a Mall after that Beach Memorial Mass. There wasn’t much creativity offered from any of the retailers (H&M, Aritzia, Uniqlo, Lululemon, Brooks Brothers, Zara, Kate Spade, Coach, Muji, Sephora).Ramie Balloon-Sleeve Dress | Banana Republic

dievca was bored – though Banana Republic offered this ramie peasant top dress in green. Something with pockets and short is always welcome to dievca’s closet. she was befuddled by the sizing in the stores – sometimes she needed a large, other times a small…strange. Ramie Balloon-Sleeve Dress | Banana Republic

Note: An Honorable Mention award should be given to the H&M LemLem collaboration’s Lyocell-blend Kaftan Dress. The dress is sold out online and dievca didn’t get to try it on (H&M is not allowing people to use the dressing rooms) and the line to purchase items was very long. she got out of there fast~

H and M LemLem

Has anyone else had a Mall experience? Maybe something more exciting and successful than dievca’s ride?