There’s name for it = Realistic Optimist

Glass water

Master and His dievca were sharing sushi on the rooftop when dievca mention that she figured out where she fits with her personal outlook (philosophy). she always thought she was just a “realist”, but realized she isn’t very cynical. Then she ran into this tidbit:

This Personality Type Is Linked to Success and Happiness
By Tia Ghose published August 23, 2013

Are you a “glass-half-full” or a “glass-half-empty” kind of person?

As it turns out, some people can be both. So-called realistic optimists combine the positive outlook of optimists with the clear-eyed perspective of pessimists, new research has found.

These realistic optimists may get the best of both worlds, using their realism to perform better at work and elsewhere, but aren’t getting bogged down by unhappiness, said Sophia Chou, an organizational psychology researcher at National Taiwan University, who presented her findings at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Honolulu, Hawaii. [7 Things That Will Make You Happy]

Past research has shown that optimists value thoughts that make them feel good about themselves, whereas pessimists prize a more truthful vision of themselves. But a clear-eyed view can be bad for pessimists’ well-being, as they tend to be more prone to depression, Chou said.

Optimists tend to live longer and be healthier overall.

After several years working in business, Chou noticed there were some people who were both optimistic and realistic, and that they tended to be very successful. She wondered whether realism and optimism were really diametrically opposed.

So Chou administered a battery of personality surveys to about 200 college and graduate students in Taiwan. The surveys tested how many “positive illusions” the students held, as well as whether they were more motivated by self-enhancement or reality.

Realistic views

The optimists were sorted into two camps: the realists and the idealists.

“Realistic optimists tend to choose accuracy over self-enhancement; the unrealistic optimists tend to choose self-enhancement,” Chou said.

Interestingly, the realistic optimists also got better grades, on average, than their less grounded peers — probably because they didn’t delude themselves into thinking they would do well without studying or working hard, Chou said.

Traditionally, a more realistic outlook is paired with poorer well-being and greater depression, yet the realistic optimists managed to be happy. To understand why, she dug deeper into the personality assessments.

Self-control key

She found that realistic optimists believed they had more self-control and control over their interpersonal relationships.

“Every time they face an issue or a challenge or a problem, they won’t say ‘I have no choice and this is the only thing I can do.’ They will be creative, they will have a plan A, plan B and plan C,” Chou said.

That allows them to stay cheery and upbeat about the future, even if they recognize the challenges of the present.

Being a realistic optimist does have one downside, however: They are more prone to anxiety than their completely unrealistic peers. That’s likely because they recognize the possibility of failure, whereas their counterparts use positive illusions to ease their anxiety, Chou said.

The findings suggest that realistic and unrealistic optimists may actually be very different personality types, Chou said.

In order to cultivate a rosy-but-realistic outlook, people should maintain a clear-eyed view of reality, but emphasize what they can control in most situations, she said.

dievca’s Master has a different take on Himself:
“Idealistic Realism”
An idealistic realist is a realist who understands the realms of possibility but also sees his idealism as a potential reality. You work towards an Ideal knowing the Realities.

By the way – the question of the glass-half-full/empty always baffled dievca – perhaps it is her “realist” tendencies or her Science background – this is her answer:

Glass tech


Cock Worship

cock-worship-1080x675

3. A sexual activity that involves kneeling before a penis, gazing at it, playing with it, kissing it, licking it, and sucking it slowly and deliberately to prolong the experience. Often includes ball sucking and rimming to show absolute reverence for the man and his cock.

Urban Dictionary

dievca always finds it interesting that there is a large act of trust displayed by the individual who is being worshiped — it’s a delicate piece of equipment and teeth can be sharp. XO 


A Glowing Presentation

Belly Dancing Light Up Wings

dievca had a lovely Greek Dinner her first night at the beach. The entertainment for the evening started with a Belly Dancer in LED wings.  dievca took a couple of Belly Dancing classes when she arrived in NYC- she shimmys well, though her rib cage undulations needed work.  It wasn’t her thing, but she might have enough movement to make her Master smile with the wings….

The two questions are: How much are the LED wings? (around $50) and is there enough room in a NYC apartment for the wings to flow? (No)


Up for a chat and coffee?

Coffee chatdievca has learned something about the people she considers close friends.  When the shit hits the fan, they connect the first day – and then they check-in on the second day.  It’s very interesting to watch.
dievca thought about it, she checks in, too.

The question is – when dievca really loses it 3 months, hence – will those people mind stepping in a second third time?   Probably, that’s what good friends do~

Watch – it will happen to you.


Kindness and a Libation

20220115_151132

A very large , “Thank You” for your kind words and glasses lifted up to honor a good Life.

The thoughts and presentations are so lovely. And dievca is working through her bottle over a long period as she replies to texts and phone calls.  A little lubrication to celebrate a Life and ease the pain of kindness.

How are you all doing? What’s going on in your lives?

(dievca’s coming up for air~)


What’s in a name?

ukrainians-1900s-1910s-9

dievča is 1/2 дівчинка, but she never really thinks of herself as Ukrainian. she looks like her Dad’s Slovak side of the family (which is — well, maybe, not quite as beautiful as her Mother’s Ukrainian side…).

What prompted these musings?

dievca’s Mom took a turn for the worse and her cousins are coming out of the woodwork to tell her Mom that they love her. Singing Ukrainian songs, sending photos of her Mother to dievca. It is sad and lovely at the same time. The photos shared show that dievca doesn’t really look like her Mom other than the pointy chin which pokes Master’s chest, the color of her eyes (grey), and her voice.

If dievca can’t really look Ukrainian, maybe she could was seek a way to feel more Ukrainian – so she started looking for a vyshyvanka:

Then she remembered that she has this Ulla Johnson blouse – one is enough:

Ulla Johnson Simona Blouse


Feeling the urge to ski~

Skiing

It seems like everyone dievca knows is skiing… In Upstate NY, a friend flew to Austria, another friend will be heading out to Tahoe, CA.  How can dievca get on that train?  She would really like to go to Banff or Whistler in Canada.  Nah, probably not in the cards this year after that 3 week vacation out West.

But it would be really fun to go skiing!

Is anyone planning to ski any time soon?


(looking for a little motivational push through) Put One Foot in Front of the Other

ChiBird Motivationmotivation(Chorus)
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tailwind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat

(Chorus)

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule, be the exception
A good way to start is to stand

(Chorus)

If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn (Oh you do!)
You mean that it’s just my election (Just that!)
To vote for a chance to be reborn

(Chorus 2x)

Looking for Motivation


Even if you ARE hosting a NYE party…what part of “no”~

rooballs red kangaroo balls bottle opener

Yes. Yes, it is what you think it might be. Yes, there is a whole website dedicated to this animal part harvested and processed in accordance with the Australian National Parks & Wildlife Service rules and regulations. www.rooballs.com

dievca was doing a gentle wander around the after Christmas sales and ran into this on the Huckberry website.  she didn’t believe it until she looked up the “brand” RooBalls!.

kangaroo-opponentIf someone can explain the appeal for any of the products – deivca would be grateful. (i.e. yesterday was Boxing day and Kangaroos can box…) Please note that she is always up for someone being able to make a $, Australian or otherwise, she just feels these products may be a reach. OK, obviously not.

dievca will be moving on to having that Christmas cookie with wine now…XO


Christmas curmudgeon

dievca is NOT feeling it.

Normally she embraces the Holidays and decorates at the beginning of December.  The tree is in storage, the decorations are in storage, the Christmas Cards for the tips are not done, she is NOT motivated…

Except friends are coming over for dinner and they have children. Tomorrow morning, dievca will schlep her a** to storage and dig everything out, then clean house and set-up the Christmas decorations before making dinner.

UGH.

NOT motivated.

Pick which Christmas Curmedgean fits….


taking a moment to contemplate

Marlene Deitrich Thinking

Do not go where the path may lead.

Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

—RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Photo: Marlene Dietrich

Coffee with a dead friend.

The ghost is drinking coffee

Everybody knows the secular holiday of Halloween. But not everybody knows it derives from a Holy Day, All Saints’ Day on Nov. 1, which is followed by All Souls’ Day on Nov. 2.

The root word of Halloween is ‘’hallow’’  which means ‘’holy.’’ The suffix “een” is an abbreviation of “evening.” It refers to the Eve of All Hallows, the night before the Christian Holy Day that honors saintly people from the past.

All Saints is a celebration of the communion of saints, those people we believe are in heaven.

All Souls’ Day is a day to pray for all souls.

Where is dievca going with this on a COFFEE MONDAY MORNING?

she realized that she would really like to get a coffee and sit down and have a chat with a dead friend. The friend she went to College with, the friend who loved the Fine Young Cannibals and the Cure, the friend with whom she caused a lot of trouble with, the friend who didn’t pass judgement, the friend who dealt with Gall Bladder Cancer then Pancreatic Cancer with grace.

Do you have anyone you would like to have coffee with?

All Soul’s Day would be the Day.

dievca will hit her friend’s favorite coffee shop in NYC tomorrow.

The graveside chat will be something for next year.


So, I was told its been 8 years…


Where does the time go? Is this blog worth my time? What do I want/need from it?

I would like to thank everyone who stops by, now and again. I haven’t been a good friend/blogger by checking-in with others as much as I should. As much as I would like to ~
Catholic guilt…

Just know that as the blog adds a year and I, as a Libra, add a year.
I wish everyone well. Good physical health and good mental health.
Never hurts to have someone sending “good vibes” into your corner…

So, please share my Years with me and, for the moment, I plan to continue~

XO dievča


Ice Cream w/Chocolate vs Coffee…

It’s a Tough Choice:
Klondike2


A new twist – estrogen drop

Erect Nipple

So your female submissive is in her 40’s to 50’s and her levels of hormones have been shifting all over the place.

One bonus might be a drop in estrogen which causes the progesterone levels rise, triggering her nipples to be more sensitive. Perhaps her nipples have been a non-entity for years and now they are front and center – literally – shape and size. Something that has been numb in the past, has become incredibly touchy – which makes for another dimension in play.

Go cautiously, but the bodily change might offer diversity and delight for both Dominant and submissive!

dievca has found one positive aspect of perimenopause and Master ran with it!


Do people watch a television any more?

don-flowers-glamour-girls-art-sexy telivision girl

Or is everyone streaming content? Netflix, AppleTV, peacock, Disney+, etc.
Does broadcast television exist anymore?
Where does one start when you haven’t watched a “show” in years?
dievca was working under the theory that she would watch TV when her body couldn’t move anymore.
she’d catch up on all the movies she hadn’t seen or watch “Sex in the City” for the 1st time.
Now there is too much content.
she’s frozen.
Analyze to Paralyze…

God, is the World passing dievca by? or can she catch a ride on the next trend?

Anyone out there feeling the same?


Interesting on so many levels

cigars

dievca was looking for a little submissive elegance and ran into this advertisement from the Cigar Institute of America.  Their message is interesting on many levels: Why just single girls? Is she a gold digger? Does she just want to be taken care of like a good cigar? Can you truly justify that starting to smoke cigars young will keep you young? She does look older than he does.  If you don’t inhale you can still enjoy the rich flavor – is that like not swallowing in fellatio?  Hmm – much to think about~


My Mom isn’t eating much.

HeartAnd she is a sleeping more. Is it depression or time to go?
Its the first time dievca’s Mom wanted to sleep rather than speak with her. 

When you are the youngest of the two youngest and everyone (Dad/Aunts/Uncles) have passed.  Your last tie to an Era will soon be cut.  You can only hope that your oldest cousins can answer your questions about Family.

she knows she shouldn’t borrow trouble, but dievca’s heart is hurting.

Her Mom’s Life isn’t really a Life – so it will be good when Mom catches up with dievca’s Dad. She misses him

dievca just keeps sending Love from her mind and her heart.


Every body is a poem ~

20210621_104941
dievca ran into this sweatshirt at H&M in NYC. she agrees with the message.
“Work with what God gave you” and “rock it”, comes to mind.
Maybe the changes in one’s body due to age are the stanzas.
Or maybe one’s body is just a “Work of Art” in progress.
That seems to fit.
XO


(show it) at the beach

Feet at the Beach

Oh they won’t let us show it at the beach no they won’t let us show it at the beach
They think we’re gonna grab it if it gets within our reach
And they won’t let us show it at the beach

But you can show it in your parlor to most anyone you choose
You can show it at a party with your second shot of booze
You can show it on the corner wearin’ overcoat and shoes
But they won’t let us show it at the beach
No they won’t let us show it at the beach friends
Ah they won’t us show it at the beach
Oh they’re sure we’re gonna grab it if it gets within our reach
So they won’t let us show it at the beach

But you can show it in the movies on the cineramic screen
You can show it in the most sophisticated magazine
You can show it while you’re bouncing on the high school trampoline
But they won’t let us show it at the beach

But if you’ve got a gun it’s legal to display it on your hip
You can show your butcher knives to any interested kid
But if it’s made for lovin’ then you’d better keep it hid
And they won’t let us show it at the beach
 
Shel Silverstein
 
Photo: dievca Fire Island 2018


Taking a moment to honor your Military members who passed – friends, family and unknowns.


1st Dinner inside: Lebanese Mezza

ilili foodBABA GHANNOUI
HUMMUS
LABNE
KIBBEH NAYE BEIRUTIEH
FATTOUSH
LEBANESE THYME SALAD
DUCK SHAWARMA
MEKANEK
FALAFEL
KIBBEH BI LABAN
ATAYEF & VEAL BACON

Ilili was ‘hopping’ on a Tuesday Night. The bar, two large rooms and outside dining was full. Look, NYC – like other places, went through a long haul with COVID-19 numbers – NYC locals are ready to GET OUT. It was a beautiful vibe last night, and the amazing work from the Vaccine developers made it happen. A HUGE ‘Thank You’ to them.
(PS. Yes, the economy of NYC is based on tourism, but selfishly – not running into any tourists is a great treat.)


Lazy Sunday Sex Position

lazy-sunday-morning-inspo-pic

After wine, a burger and good company – dievca slept in for a lazy Sunday. Master will be stopping by in the afternoon to relax.  Maybe the ‘LAZY SUNDAY’ position will come into use – dievca is really not moving too fast.RR-SEX-POSITION-LAZY-SUNDAY-v1

LAZY SUNDAY SEX POSITION

Find a chair or large pillow so you are both sitting at a 45 degree angle.

One partner lies on the bottom, while the other clambers on top facing upwards so your bodies are in perfect alignment.

Keep your thighs together for a more intense sensation as the lower lover enters from behind.


The Spirit is willing, the Body – not so much.

Marie-Berthe Paquette, 102 years old, Montreal, 2016 Arianne Clément - GroundTruth

Marie-Berthe Paquette, 102 years old, Montreal, 2016. (Arianne Clément/GroundTruth)

Growing Old – Matthew Arnold

What is it to grow old?
Is it to lose the glory of the form,
The lustre of the eye?
Is it for beauty to forgo her wreath?
—Yes, but not this alone.

Is it to feel our strength—
Not our bloom only, but our strength—decay?
Is it to feel each limb
Grow stiffer, every function less exact,
Each nerve more loosely strung?

Yes, this, and more; but not
Ah, ’tis not what in youth we dreamed ’twould be!
’Tis not to have our life
Mellowed and softened as with sunset glow,
A golden day’s decline.

’Tis not to see the world
As from a height, with rapt prophetic eyes,
And heart profoundly stirred;
And weep, and feel the fullness of the past,
The years that are no more.

It is to spend long days
And not once feel that we were ever young;
It is to add, immured
In the hot prison of the present, month
To month with weary pain.

It is to suffer this,
And feel but half, and feebly, what we feel.
Deep in our hidden heart
Festers the dull remembrance of a change,
But no emotion—none.

It is—last stage of all—
When we are frozen up within, and quite
The phantom of ourselves,
To hear the world applaud the hollow ghost
Which blamed the living man.

Unlike the poem states – dievca still feels flashes of being young. she has hints and memories of free movement, but she wonders if this poem applies to her Mother’s age when memories dim and movement is slim. Note: that dievca is saying this as she is elevating and heating a knee which was painful upon awaking -trying to remember her name.

Photo above from an article on aging and beauty at the Ground Truth Project.


They made such a to-do

Jill Biden Tightsabout Jill Biden’s tights…and dievca immediately thought “Rock It, Lady”!

The First Lady is 69-years-old and giving her personal fashion a go  – its right up there with the octogenarian NY-ers dievca loves seeing – they are killing it with their leopard tights.

dievca wants to be bold in her aging and Master loves stockings. Akira Chicago was offering really fun fishnet tights to help her process.

akira-rhinestone-detail-mesh-fish-net-tight_black_2 Uhh, apparently the Akira tights are sold out. Here is another pair from ASOS by Ann Summers.


Turnsole = Sun God/Goddess

turnsole is a type of plant that turns with the movement of the sun, a sunflower being the most famous example. From Middle French tournesol, the word literally means “turns toward the sun,” and was modeled after the synonymous Greek term heliotrope. As in French, when the word came into English in the 1300s it initially referred to the purple dye that came from a turnsole plant (Chrozophora tinctoria.). Soon after, turnsole broadened in meaning to refer to all types of plant that turn with the sun.

facing the sun

Is a Human a “turnsole” when he/she faces the sun to welcome its healing heat? Or is the definition only for plants. All dievca knows is that she is seeking the sun this Spring, like a sun-worshipping goddess.

sun-gods-and-sun-goddesses-121167_fin-7aab2b08f4684856ae32c6ab257e43e1

Sun Deities

Name Nationality/Religion God or Goddess? Notes
Amaterasu Japan Sun Goddess Major deity of the Shinto religion.
Arinna (Hebat) Hittite (Syrian) Sun Goddess The most important of three Hittite major solar deities
Apollo Greece and Rome Sun God  
Freyr Norse Sun God Not the main Norse sun god, but a fertility god associated with the sun.
Garuda Hindu Bird God  
Helios (Helius) Greece Sun God Before Apollo was the Greek sun god, Helios held that position.
Hepa Hittite Sun Goddess The consort of a weather god, she was assimilated with the sun goddess Arinna.
Huitzilopochtli (Uitzilopochtli) Aztec Sun God  
Hvar Khshaita Iranian/Persian Sun God  
Inti Inca Sun God The national patron of the Inca state.
Liza West African Sun God  
Lugh Celtic Sun God  
Mithras Iranian/Persian Sun God  
Re (Ra) Egypt Mid-day Sun God An Egyptian god shown with a solar disk. Center of worship was Heliopolis. Later associated with Horus as Re-Horakhty. Also combined with Amun as Amun-Ra, a solar creator god.
Shemesh/Shepesh Ugarit Sun goddess  
Sol (Sunna) Norse Sun Goddess She rides in a horse-drawn solar chariot.
Sol Invictus Roman Sun God The unconquered sun. A late Roman sun god. The title was also used of Mithras.
Surya Hindu Sun God Rides the sky in a horse-drawn chariot.
Tonatiuh Aztec Sun God  
Utu (Shamash) Mesopotamia Sun God  

A “Thank you” to Thought Co. and dictionary.com


Can someone explain?

Why someone would be interested in using this Supreme SS16 Brass Key Chain?

dievca doesn’t get it.

Yes, she knows people wouldn’t understand why she has a fluffy fur ball keychain~


God Only Knows


Lately, have you found yourself steeped in nostalgia?
Not saying that Life was better before _________ (fill in the blank)
Just revisiting pieces of Joy, Love, Sadness, Humor, etc.
Beach Boys, Napster, Limewire, Sonic the Hedgehog, the Muppet Show, The Blues Brothers, Jaws, and so on~


So, grey eyes do exist~

Snort – M. just called them “blue eyes that didn’t quite make it”…


“No road is long with good company.” – Turkish Proverb


A quick, “Thank You”. for joining dievca on this ride.
The blog has been going for 7+ years and is still fulfilling.
Traveling through the overtake of Instagram and people moving on,
dievca is very grateful for the people who stop by and check-in.
Sending much love. XO
dievča