Relationship Words that defy translation, yet fit.

There are some words that defy definition in the English Language – yet are so right for a situation.  One “hot” word comes to mind: 

Hygge (Danish) is a word used when acknowledging a feeling or moment, whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary as cosy, charming or special.

IMAGE: FLICKR, MATT MATCHES

Which seems very similar to:

Gezelligheid (Dutch), a word that depending on context can be translated as convivial, cozy, fun, or nice atmosphere, but can also show someone belonging, time spent with loved ones, the fact of seeing a friend after a long absence, or the general togetherness that gives people a warm feeling.

That said, here are some words that don’t translate easily to the English language, yet convey some very important concepts in relationships.

Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who wish to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.

Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny.  A “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship.

From the movie, Serendipity.

Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.

Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time.

marina abramovic: the artist is present, her lover returns after 30 years

Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.

La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

Scene from Love Actually

Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.

Ya’aburnee (Arabic): “You bury me.” One’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

Forelsket: (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.

Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”

Reuters: I believe this is his Sister, Lesleigh Coyer

Thank you to Pamela Haag Psychology Today Article (here)  with photos and additions by dievca.


They come in all sizes.

With the following “Words of Wisdom” from her Mother rattling in her head
(Note: dievca’s Mum is becoming frail at 84, yet is still hitting the exercise bike for her arthritis)
“Honey you may feel big, but I see you as strong and healthy which is so beautiful”.
Thanks, Mom XO

dievca is getting older (she’s a Libra) and she’s feeling her body losing muscle mass.  In response, she’s working on it…

To motivate her progression – she ran into these photos of (young!) Athletes. she knows that she won’t be there anymore, but she can work to be the best dievca she can be.

There may be different heights, structural differences and muscle development which is endeavor specific ~ who cares?

Look how beautiful these Ladies are:


Are you feeling motivated?


What’s your vibe?

quivershaketrembleshivershudderthrobpulsaterattle, rockwobble, oscillatewaverswingsway, move to and fro, judder

81% of women and 91% of men who have used a vibrator have done so with a partner. (1)

Enhancing sex and foreplay with a vibrator brings in a whole new level of excitement and pleasure, but like there are many different people in the World, there are many different ways to “vibe”.

Note: the ideas below are written for heterosexual couples, but many apply to same sex couples as well. The products are from “JimmyJane” a line which dievca has found to be very stable, clean-lined, hardworking and elegant.

USING A VIBRATOR DURING FOREPLAY

Tingly Touches – An erotic massage is a delicious way to start an intimate evening. Light a Natural Massage Oil Candle, slip HELLO TOUCH over your fingertips, and explore your partner’s body with vibration. Or get more adventurous with E-stim – electric sensation from HELLO TOUCH X.

Watch and Learn – According to a Men’s Health survey, 80% of women want their partner to watch them masturbate. “The fact that she’s turning you on while bringing herself to orgasm makes her feel incredibly sexy,” says sex therapist, Sandor Gardos. dievca knows that Master loves to watch her masturbate, she has used  the LITTLE CHROMA, her hands and the FORM 2.

Backwards Hug – With the woman in front in a spoon position (lying or sitting), her partner in back can encircle her with his arms go fondle her breasts, vagina, and anywhere else that feels good. She can simultaneously stimulate herself with a clitoral vibrator, such as FORM 2.

Get Handy (for Him) – Adding some vibration to a hand job can multiply his pleasure. Place HELLO TOUCH on your mid-fingers and place your hand so that the two vibrators contact and rub against the sensitive underside of his shaft, just beneath the head. Alternatively, using a male masturbator like FORM 5 to stimulate the sensitive underside of his penis and frenulum (the ridge that runs up the shaft)

Get Handy (for Her) – He can use HELLO TOUCH to improve his handy work. Place the vibrating pods on the back of the fingertips. This vibrates the fingers themselves, which in turn can touch and stimulate her vulva and clitoris.  Or add  the excitement of E-stim with HELLO TOUCH X.  Or insert a finger (or two) wearing the Pleasure Pod of choice to stimulate her G-spot.

Oral Report – A vibrator can enhance oral sex in a number of ways for both men and women. FORM 3 is perfectly shaped to cup his testicles during a blowjob. Use a powerful vibrator, like FORM 4, under the chin to add vibration to oral sex. He can insert FORM 6, FORM 4 or LITTLE CHROMA a few inches inside her vagina while stimulating her clitoris with his tongue or mouth.

USING A VIBRATOR DURING SEX

Missionary (Man on Top)FORM 3 is one of the few vibrators thin enough to fit between two bodies in this position. Rest it on your pubic bone so your hands free to explore your partner. If you can fit your hand under your partner, you can use HELLO TOUCH to stimulate yourself during sex.

Missionary (Woman on Top) – When you’re on top, there’s more leeway for clitoral stimulation. FORM 4 has an oversized motor right at the top. Rest this on his pubic bone so you can grind your clitoris against it during sex.

Doggie Style – When he’s behind you, there’s plenty of room open in front to bring in some vibration. A longer shape, like FORM 6 or MAGIC WAND, makes it easy for him to reach around and stimulate your clitoris or vulva.

Reverse Cowgirl – With woman on top facing your partner’s legs, there is plenty of room for vibrator stimulation. He can reach around with FORM 6 or MAGIC WAND, or you can lay back and stimulate yourself with a small clitoral vibrator like FORM 2. He can also try lifting one knee, so you have something to grind against. Or try FORM 5 for simultaneous labial and clitoral stimulation.

Get Creative – There is no end to the ways in which a vibrator can be incorporated into sex.

The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings and can be an erogenous zone, which can make anal intercourse pleasurable if performed properly. The pudendal nerve that branches to supply the external anal sphincter also branches to the dorsal nerve of clitoris and the dorsal nerve of penis.

An insertable vibrator like FORM 6 can be a great introduction to anal sex or double penetration. HELLO TOUCH can be used to stimulate nipples during foreplay or intercourse. Play around and, in the words of the 60’s bumper sticker, “If it feels good, do it.”


1 Research by Indiana University published in 2011 issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine

 


Despacito

Slowly
I want to breathe your neck slowly.
Let me whisper things in your ear,
that you’ll remember when you’re not with me.
Slowly
I want to undress you with kisses slowly.
Sign the walls of your labyrinth
and turn your body into a manuscript.

I want to see your hair dance, I want to be your rhythm
I want you to show my mouth your favorite places.
Let me surpass your danger zone,
until it makes you scream
and makes you forget your last name.

English translation of Despacito chorus from the Huffington Post
Song of the Summer 2017

Emotions, Feelings and Drama

e·mo·tion
əˈmōSH(ə)n
noun
plural noun: emotions
a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others

feel·ing
ˈfēliNG
noun
plural noun: feelings
an emotional state or reaction.
“a feeling of joy”

dra·ma
ˈdrämə
noun
1. a play for theater, radio, or television.
2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

Emotions can be measured by a body’s physical response to a situation. They tend to be predictable and well understood.

Feelings are a mental response to emotions. Feelings represent a personal reaction towards experienced emotions.

Drama is making your emotions/feelings someone else’s responsibility!

Thank you to the “Emotional Detective
and a conversation with Chris from the Muscleheaded Blog


As good as it gets~against the odds. (Father’s Day)

Photo: Reddit, Trevor3999 – His Grandma and her Dad

Look, dievca’s Dad is older.  He had a stroke/heart attack a few years ago and they determined they couldn’t operate.  Blood flow efficiency was increased from 20% to 38% with drugs. His handwriting got better, he is walking/cleaning house/gardening/driving to the hardware store/taking care of Mom — doing really well.
Independent.

Dad took a “header” last summer from the heat and perhaps a little bit of medications needing adjustment.  A mess with a bleed out, broken neck and nose, etc.  He got through it.
Stubborn.

We went for his annual heart check-up:

Weight – the same
Blood work – good
Concerns with breathing/dizziness – none
range of motion – better
Heart efficiency – 45% (up a smidgen beyond the margins for error…)

The Doctor thought about it, looked at us and said, “just keep doing what you are doing..”

I think my Dad made his day.

In the end, what dievca is learning from her Dad is that no matter how bad it gets — we know that the act of trying to work through problems may not always be successful, but sometimes it is…
And that is a beautiful thing.
So keep trying, against the odds.

and Happy Father’s Day. XO


A kiss on the lips is worth…

Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down… and kissed him. And the world cracked open. Agnes de Mille

When he kisses you he isn’t doing anything else. You’re his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn’t have any plans and isn’t going anywhere. Just kissing you…it’s overwhelming. Unknown

Give me a kisse, and to that kisse a score; Then to that twenty, adde a hundred more; A thousand to that hundred; so kisse on, To make that thousand up a million; Treble that million, and when that is done, Let’s kisse afresh, as when we first begun. Robert Herrick, To Anthea (III)

Philematology is the scientific study of kissing.
(philos in ancient Greek = earthly love).

Statistics for a kiss, a couple may exchange:

  •  9 mg of water
  • 0.7 mg of protein
  • 0.18 mg of organic compounds
  • 0.71 mg of fats
  • 0.45 mg of sodium chloride
  • 10 million to 1 billion bacteria according to one estimate.

The original theory of kissing was that primate mothers chewed their food for their babies. As evolution continued the kiss began to be used to pass on information about biological compatibility of a mate via pheromone chemical signals as well as promote social bonding and expressing love, with the ultimate goal of procreation.

Research indicates that we do communicate with chemicals – though the vomeronasal organs (pheromone detection and brain function) are thought to be inactive in humans. When you kiss a partner, you are able to get close enough to each other to assess essential characteristics about each other, none of which are consciously processed.

While men will have sex with women without kissing them beforehand as well as have sex with a woman who is not a good kisser, most women will never have sex without kissing first. On the evolutionary level, women were looking for a mate to raise their offspring with, and kissing could be an unconscious but accurate way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate.

Men tend to initiate French kissing and research suggests this is because saliva contains testosterone. “There is evidence that saliva has testosterone in it,” said Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, “and testosterone increases sex drive. And there is evidence that men like sloppier kisses with more open mouth. That suggests they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to stimulate sex drive in women.” Furthermore, men are able to sense a woman’s level of estrogen which is a predictor of her fertility.

Hormone levels change after kissing:

  • Cortisol (stress) levels decreased in men and women after kissing, and the longer a couple is together the lower their stress hormones get.
  • Oxytocin levels which promote bonding increase in men, however women’s levels decreased.
  • Testosterone levels are raised during a kiss, which increases sex drive
  • Dopamine is increased promoting romantic love.

Other benefits:

  • small kisses use as little as two muscles, burning only 2 to 3 calories
  • passionate kissing involves up to 34 facial muscles along with 112 postural muscles and burns around 26 calories per minute.
  • modest increase in blood pressure and heart rate which helps cardiac health
  • increased saliva produced during active kissing which helps to prevent tooth decay
  • men who kiss their wives in the morning live 5 years longer on average and also make more money.

Sources:

Philematology: The Science of Kissing. A Message for the Marital Month of June

A Kiss is Still a Kiss — or is it?

Saliva: Secret Ingredient in the Best Kisses

http://”There is evidence that s…

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/13/AR2009021303465.html