The Guy I fell in Love with First – my Dad.
As I watch my Dad keep weight on as best as possible with tube feeding, I remember all the traveling he had to do for work. All those meals he had on the road. (and he drank) How he would finish what I didn’t eat. The focus was on me, my brothers, my Mom — not him.
But, Dad tried – he tried to keep running until a severe ankle injury stopped him (his ankle still swells 30 +years later – of course he never went to the Doctor). Dad was a great athlete and he’s still moving as much as possible to this day, but he did have a…
Its true — there is a type of body created by being a Dad. Especially a “resident” Dad.
- Though age is positively associated with BMI over all years for all men, comparing nonresident and resident fathers with non-fathers reveals different trajectories based on fatherhood status. Entrance into fatherhood is associated with an increase in BMI trajectory for both nonresident and resident fathers, while non-fathers exhibit a decrease over the same period.
The study was started in 1994-1995 collecting height + weight to calculate BMI (Body Mass Index) and fatherhood status. Covariates included age, education, physical health, income, number of children, screen hours, workouts, etc. The starting age range was 12-21 and the study was conducted over 20 years with data collected in four waves.
Men were grouped into three categories: resident fathers, non-resident fathers, and non-fathers. The trajectory of standardized BMI over time is shown below.
In a press release, the lead author of the study, Dr Craig Garfield, Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Medical Social Sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and attending pediatrician at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, said,
Fatherhood can affect the health of young men, above the already known effect of marriage. The more weight the fathers’ gain and the higher their BMI, the greater the risk they have for developing heart disease as well as diabetes and cancer.
So, the “Dad Bod” exists.
Weight gain associated with life transitions such as parenthood is a real concern, and public health, social, and clinical supports should be available for men during this time.
And we should be saying, “Thank You” to our Dad’s for giving their health up for us.
As I was reading the study, I wondered about the reasons for participants to be non-Fathers. Did they have a partner, male or female? Did that change the findings? Did marriage, in general, cause a male to gain weight whether there were children or not? Etc.
I think, in general, men who have families forget to take care of themselves.
The “Dad Bod” sacrifice.
And especially for Father’s Day – again, I’d like to Thank You.
Fatherhood is special. XO
Call a spade is a spade.
I absorb and learn from criticism.
I pick my ass up after a failure.
If I ask a question, I expect an answer.
I’m not asking just to make noise.
I’m waiting for the answer.
Even if that answer is negative.
Even if you think I won’t like the answer.
And if I asked two questions, I am looking for the answer to both questions.
I am sorry if you have trouble offering a negative answer.
Or any answer at all.
Not my problem.
But it is my problem when I am trying to schedule my life and I asked the question for a reason.
The avoidance becomes disrespectful and rude.
My ire doesn’t matter – because I’m still waiting for your answer.
I’m not playing a game, its my Life.
The beautiful spring came;
and when Nature resumes her loveliness,
the human soul is apt to revive also.
~Harriet Ann Jacobs
It’s hard to hold onto your “mad” when your Dad calls and says,
“Be patient with me. I’m sorry and I love you.”
irritable.“he was tired and crotchety
Urban Dictionary TOP DEFINITION
An adjective used to describe an old person. More specifically, someone who seems to hate life in their “golden years” and feels the need to take it out on others.
It was a rough Sunday:
An Amazon package arrived at my Parents and I got a phone call.
I bought Dad a 5# weight bar from Amazon.
I bought him safety handles for the toilet from Amazon.
I bought him non-slip strips for the shower from Amazon.
I bought him what the OT (Occupational Therapist) and Nurse told me to buy.
And he was pissed.
I said, “I am so sorry that you feel like you are losing control, I just bought what the nurse and OT asked me to buy so you would have it available.”
He kept stuttering and yelling, so I just said “good-bye” and hung up.
(Thinking, NO, you cannot use the bathroom door handle to help you get off the toilet.)
But, I guess it’s ok that I bought my Mom pee-pee pads from Amazon. I didn’t ask.
As I was feeling so tired and defeated from the week, travel, work headaches, plus my Brother and, now, my Dad – I received a gorgeous text from my Sister-In-Law:
“Dear, dear dievca. Thank you for all of your efforts. We just got the 3rd call from Dad in 10 minutes. My husband is laughing that you are never ever going to come home again.”
“(insert my last name) males are tough.”
Amazing what a simple text can do~
So, like, do you think I should buy that book (above) for Dad and ship it from Amazon?
Umm, I’m not doing so well at this elderly parent thing – no Catholic heaven for me, huh?
Hope your Monday is better than my Sunday – hell, it can’t be any worse.
Bloody Mary, anyone?
Families are interesting.
I flew back, late last night, and went into work early. My Dad is responsible for his morning and evening feedings, but they are trickier with grinding the pills (liquid forms are not available for everything) – so we “pre-grind”. That’s fine until Dad spills the cup of the dissolved meds. No extra am pills ground and a med that needs to be kept in the system isn’t taken. I’m no longer there to help, and the home aid doesn’t come until 4 hours later, and my sibling who lives there doesn’t see the importance or urgency.
Yeah, I was in a panic. And my sibling made me cry. What’s the point of killing yourself to get your Dad out of the hospital only to fail at home?
All this while I was walking in loveliness.
I breathed deep to smell the blossoms – it helped.
Do you think it’s the 15 year difference in age? Or an oldest/youngest issue? Mind you, I’m the youngest – almost like an “only”. Can I have a drink at 9 am? Something more than a mimosa?
tired and the day just started dievča
Photos: dievca 05/2018
My Dad made it home. So what if he has to be a “tubie”, he’s walking better, cognitive skills are excellent, can do everything that is important – heck, we can’t ask for anything more. Dad went into the hospital on his Birthday and he made it home for his Anniversary. 62 years – May Day! Mom’s skinny as a toothpick, but she is holding up, too.
Me? I’m pooped (tired). It was a long day of squeezing in work, NYC traffic, flight, rental car, drive, learning the tube feeding process and fighting with the pharmacy. Add Dad getting on me that it’s garbage day tomorrow — yeah, that brain is doing just fine~
But the Sunset after a lovely 71 F (22 C) day? Amazing!
That extra shine is the sun hitting the water of a lake.
All-in-all, a very good day.
Photo: dievca 04/2018