Emotions, Feelings and Drama

e·mo·tion
əˈmōSH(ə)n
noun
plural noun: emotions
a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others

feel·ing
ˈfēliNG
noun
plural noun: feelings
an emotional state or reaction.
“a feeling of joy”

dra·ma
ˈdrämə
noun
1. a play for theater, radio, or television.
2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

Emotions can be measured by a body’s physical response to a situation. They tend to be predictable and well understood.

Feelings are a mental response to emotions. Feelings represent a personal reaction towards experienced emotions.

Drama is making your emotions/feelings someone else’s responsibility!

Thank you to the “Emotional Detective
and a conversation with Chris from the Muscleheaded Blog


As good as it gets~against the odds. (Father’s Day)

Photo: Reddit, Trevor3999 – His Grandma and her Dad

Look, dievca’s Dad is older.  He had a stroke/heart attack a few years ago and they determined they couldn’t operate.  Blood flow efficiency was increased from 20% to 38% with drugs. His handwriting got better, he is walking/cleaning house/gardening/driving to the hardware store/taking care of Mom — doing really well.
Independent.

Dad took a “header” last summer from the heat and perhaps a little bit of medications needing adjustment.  A mess with a bleed out, broken neck and nose, etc.  He got through it.
Stubborn.

We went for his annual heart check-up:

Weight – the same
Blood work – good
Concerns with breathing/dizziness – none
range of motion – better
Heart efficiency – 45% (up a smidgen beyond the margins for error…)

The Doctor thought about it, looked at us and said, “just keep doing what you are doing..”

I think my Dad made his day.

In the end, what dievca is learning from her Dad is that no matter how bad it gets — we know that the act of trying to work through problems may not always be successful, but sometimes it is…
And that is a beautiful thing.
So keep trying, against the odds.

and Happy Father’s Day. XO


A kiss on the lips is worth…

Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down… and kissed him. And the world cracked open. Agnes de Mille

When he kisses you he isn’t doing anything else. You’re his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn’t have any plans and isn’t going anywhere. Just kissing you…it’s overwhelming. Unknown

Give me a kisse, and to that kisse a score; Then to that twenty, adde a hundred more; A thousand to that hundred; so kisse on, To make that thousand up a million; Treble that million, and when that is done, Let’s kisse afresh, as when we first begun. Robert Herrick, To Anthea (III)

Philematology is the scientific study of kissing.
(philos in ancient Greek = earthly love).

Statistics for a kiss, a couple may exchange:

  •  9 mg of water
  • 0.7 mg of protein
  • 0.18 mg of organic compounds
  • 0.71 mg of fats
  • 0.45 mg of sodium chloride
  • 10 million to 1 billion bacteria according to one estimate.

The original theory of kissing was that primate mothers chewed their food for their babies. As evolution continued the kiss began to be used to pass on information about biological compatibility of a mate via pheromone chemical signals as well as promote social bonding and expressing love, with the ultimate goal of procreation.

Research indicates that we do communicate with chemicals – though the vomeronasal organs (pheromone detection and brain function) are thought to be inactive in humans. When you kiss a partner, you are able to get close enough to each other to assess essential characteristics about each other, none of which are consciously processed.

While men will have sex with women without kissing them beforehand as well as have sex with a woman who is not a good kisser, most women will never have sex without kissing first. On the evolutionary level, women were looking for a mate to raise their offspring with, and kissing could be an unconscious but accurate way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate.

Men tend to initiate French kissing and research suggests this is because saliva contains testosterone. “There is evidence that saliva has testosterone in it,” said Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, “and testosterone increases sex drive. And there is evidence that men like sloppier kisses with more open mouth. That suggests they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to stimulate sex drive in women.” Furthermore, men are able to sense a woman’s level of estrogen which is a predictor of her fertility.

Hormone levels change after kissing:

  • Cortisol (stress) levels decreased in men and women after kissing, and the longer a couple is together the lower their stress hormones get.
  • Oxytocin levels which promote bonding increase in men, however women’s levels decreased.
  • Testosterone levels are raised during a kiss, which increases sex drive
  • Dopamine is increased promoting romantic love.

Other benefits:

  • small kisses use as little as two muscles, burning only 2 to 3 calories
  • passionate kissing involves up to 34 facial muscles along with 112 postural muscles and burns around 26 calories per minute.
  • modest increase in blood pressure and heart rate which helps cardiac health
  • increased saliva produced during active kissing which helps to prevent tooth decay
  • men who kiss their wives in the morning live 5 years longer on average and also make more money.

Sources:

Philematology: The Science of Kissing. A Message for the Marital Month of June

A Kiss is Still a Kiss — or is it?

Saliva: Secret Ingredient in the Best Kisses

http://”There is evidence that s…

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/13/AR2009021303465.html


Are you sure?

Walking away by Melissa-Cupcake on DeviantArt

Walking away by Melissa-Cupcake on DeviantArt

Are you sure you paid attention,
To her wants and needs?

Or did you get distracted by the lives of others,
Because there wasn’t any drama.

When did you finally notice,
That she slipped away?

Quietly.
Without fanfare.

Oh, just now?
I see, you can’t find her.

THE ZOMBIES – 1965 – “She’s Not There”


So sad to watch.


So sad that you took all of my joy in you, willingness to give and just threw it away.

I kept asking for answers, trying to explain what was happening to me.
And you didn’t realize the issues or couldn’t self-reflect to discuss my queries.
Avoidance and uncertainty causing me to feel unsafe and anxious.
I know, I know – that is human and that is Life.
But, “I’ll never date you”, pulled the emergency brake as we stepped on the gas.
Maybe we could have had something where you got to be open and happy.
And where I felt safe and beautiful.
If you had just taken a chance and asked me to be yours.
Photo: unknown, situation - a close friend

Aww, Mom…

Mother's DaySo happy she finally had a girl
(no idea the girl was a tomboy)

Such a gap between siblings
(no idea the girl would keep her young)

A shared interest in fashion
(didn’t realize the girl would keep her up-to-date)

The girl ended up bringing a great deal of Joy to her Mother.
(And her Mother shared her Life and Wisdom with the girl)

Look, my Mom can be a pain-in-the-a**. I can be one, too.
Like Mother, Like Daughter.
She puts up with me and loves me, unconditionally.
What more do you need from someone?
Right now my Mom is 90 lbs, soaking wet and she looks at me with my extra curves and says, “You are so beautiful, so healthy and strong – it’s lovely.”
– and I look at myself with new eyes.
That is love.

Aww, Mom, I love you.


Flip-Flop

dievca: Pins 3/2017 Design Museum London

witnessing
the change in state

I’m guilty
of the same fate

confusion
does not abate

analyze
your perfect mate

I would generally say that men are more emotionally dependent when compared to women. Most women have been taught to nurture others on an emotional level, and therefore have the ability to take care of themselves. They generally have other women to support them through hard emotional times or just on a day-to-day level. Men, on the other hand, usually have no one there for them emotionally other than the woman with whom they are involved. They have male friends, but do men talk about emotional subjects with each other? Not really—it’s more about business and sports. When the woman they are in a relationship with leaves them, they find themselves alone and in a lot of emotional pain.

Emotionally dependent males hate conflict within a committed intimate relationship. Because of their dislike of conflict, they try to prevent conflict from occurring. They attempt to control conflict in two ways behaviorally, either by taking the aggressive approach to their relationship or by acting passive. Both of these behavior styles may be effective in avoiding conflict in the moment by maintaining a false sense of harmony, but they avoid the expression of their emotional truth. Without the truth, no real emotional intimacy can occur within their relationship. Remember that the lack of intimacy is not really a concern for the emotionally dependent male—their primary concern is emotional abandonment. Men who act aggressively or passively use these two forms of behavioral control as an attempt to prevent abandonment. In the long run, often when one partner tries to control the other, what they are afraid of eventually happens, and their partner abandons them.

~Daniel Beaver

As you can tell – dievca is on a path to changing her life. she’s looking to change careers and you are seeing pieces of her learning and self-growth.  Bear with her, Master is…