It’s always nice to run into a BDSM store that caters to Dominant/submissive needs. ToBeHis creates luxury Day Collars and other jewelry – custom and stock for the BDSM community.
What impressed dievca is the availability of 14K Gold options – costly to stock if you are not a large outfit.
The Gold “very heavy” Eternity Ring Chain will run around $5K and the lock dievca admires is about $1.5K. Lovely for every day to honor your Sir or Madame.
thecollarshop.com: Every time you buy from The Collar Shop you know that you are buying a handcrafted, custom piece made to your specifications. All items have adjustability built-in, so please be sure to read the FAQ on how to properly measure and order.
dievca had a lovely Greek Dinner her first night at the beach. The entertainment for the evening started with a Belly Dancer in LED wings. dievca took a couple of Belly Dancing classes when she arrived in NYC- she shimmys well, though her rib cage undulations needed work. It wasn’t her thing, but she might have enough movement to make her Master smile with the wings….
The two questions are: How much are the LED wings? (around $50) and is there enough room in a NYC apartment for the wings to flow? (No)
Master is traveling and dievca has had some open time to review her Life and changes in the past 2 years. Between COVID, deaths, aging – Master and dievca’s relationship has changed. And as body changes, social changes and family changes have eased – she’s wondering what will return or diminish.
dievca is starting her reflection process by defining the type of Relationship Master and dievca had at the beginning. Then she plans to review where she thinks they are now. Finally, she will communicate her analysis to Master and listen to His thoughts and wants for the future.
9 Types of submissives:
- The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms for the masochist’s own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one’s own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism).
- Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
- Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
- True submissive non-slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
- True submissive PLAY slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one’s partner’s sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)
- Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one’s Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.
- Part-time consensual but REAL slave
Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress’/Master’s “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life – practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one’s time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave’s free time.
- Full-time live-in consensual slave
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress’/Master’s use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren’t socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
- Consensual total slave with no limits
A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn’t exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.
© 1984, 1988 by Mistress Diane Vera as reprinted in
Pat Califia, ed. The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual (Boston: Lace / Alyson) pp. 69-71
A Thank You to SluttyGirlProblem – Victoria Sparrow and Officer Wes for the information that made dievca start to think.
www.officerwes.com © 1997-2021 by Officer Wes
dievca hasn’t offered any suggestions for Collars and Leads in a long time.
she ran into this elegant Versace Medusa set on MyTheresa for sale –
but only the small is available.
You can find Medium and Larges on other sites.
Very elegant for your submissive.
Fashioned in Black Leather, featuring gleaming golden hardware that includes iconic Medusa head studs, it comes with a adjustable buckle fasten on the doubled collar, allowing you to adjust the fit for your submissives’s comfort.
materials: brass, leather, fabric
size & fit
Length of size S = 59cm-23″
Length of size M = 65cm-25.5″
Length of size L = 74cm-29
A trip to the Zoo
A rinse at a beach shower
Red Eye Home
It’s been a lovely trip, but its nice to get back to Master.
Fashion in the submissive’s favor – Spring Summer 2021 Louis Vuitton is offering elegant collars with padlocks and chunky chains:
#1 – The polished LV Edge necklace Cadenas presents an iconic Louis Vuitton signature while embracing a contemporary feel. This piece features a large padlock pendant meticulously engraved with the LV Initials, suspended from a thick link chain. The pendant is opened and closed by pushing the lock.
#2 – With slightly smaller chain links than its sister pieces in the line, this LV Edge necklace MM makes a subtler, though no less striking impression. On this scale, the meticulousness of the Monogram engravings in rows along the links is truly exceptional. An LV Initials-engraved lobster clasp makes a secure and elegant closure.
A bold statement of showing your BDSM leanings in public without anyone the wiser.
Feeling the presentation
The ‘Real Deal’ is always better.
Master told His dievca to wear stockings for Presentation.
The trick was to look alluring while feeling round in the middle – a corset was out~
Maison Close’s fitted skirt with suspenders and a slouchy see-thru sweater was in!
Wearing a hood with red lipstick would put the focus on Master’s Cock and the skirt with suspenders would shift that focus to dievca’s ass while bent over.
Master guided dievca’s head for Cock worship and when hard, He restrained her across the bed so she could be flipped belly down or up as needed. He added a penis gag and vibrating butt plug to fill all of His dievca’s holes.
As Master’s Cock pounded into His dievca’s pussy, the button to modify the butt plug’s vibrational pattern would get pressed – it made for a wild ride, plus a bit of humor as dievca exploded everywhere.
A naked woman in heels is a beautiful thing.
A naked man in shoes looks like a fool.
Can you imagine being an exhibitionist to an audience of Trees?
Impact Play while bending over a bench viewing Nature?
Kneeling to your Sir or Madame in front of a fire?
Being bound or chained to a Tree?
Becoming a part of the scenery?
Aftercare in a hot tub and finishing with a rain shower rinse.
The epitome of a family retreat, Forest House sits nestled among tall trees in a forested hill area in Northern California. The dwelling was designed by the Envelope A+D architecture studio as a space that perfectly blends into the landscape, making the most of the natural setting at the same time. Unlike traditional cabins, the house features not one, but nine separate structures connected to each other and to the forest. The expansive building aims to provide a welcoming retreat space for the clients’ family, friends and colleagues.
Photography © Richard Barnes
Ooh, la la! Charlotte Olympia’s Frisky slingbacks live up to their name. Adorned with a monochrome Dress Up print and black leather whip-like tassels, they perfectly embody the collection’s muse, Betty Paige. Channel pin-up glamour by teaming these statement heels with a pencil skirt, tucked-in blouse, and a slick of red lipstick.
Masturbation – Master, I am really quick off the trigger.Fantasy – something to do with being restained over the side of the bed or futon. Banana vibrator playing on the outside of my pussy, hitting the clit, then you entering behind with a plug and possibly moving to my ass. Maybe my mouth is reachable for cock worship? I’ll work on my description.
dievca’s fantasies had diminished. she’s sure there are many reasons for that to occur.
Catching a hint of fantasy while masturbating was worthy of mention to Master, even if it was a snippet.
Master is creative, He had enough to work with when He returned home.
Master set up restraints across the width of the bed and placed cuffs on dievca’s wrists. He then bent His dievca face-down over the side of the bed naked and in heels, attaching her hands over her head to the restraints. There was enough play in the leather that dievca could get on to her elbows if needed, but Master pulled her back to stretch out her arms overhead.
dievca’s freshly waxed ass was open to Master’s view, He inserted an anal plug using lube.
As dievca was opened and exposed, Master took off His pants and grabbed the banana vibrator. Reaching between His dievca’s legs, Master rested the vibrator cupping her pussy and hitting her clit while jiggling the anal plug. He called for orgasms and after a number plunged into her pussy with His cock. dievca grabbed at Him with her pelvic muscles as she pulled on the restraints.
Master continued to tease dievca with the vibrator, then His hand and His cock until she squirted on the floor.
At that point, Master pushed dievca towards the bed and told her to flip over, her ass on the edge of the bed with hands restrained above her head. Holding her high heels, Master penetrated deeply until the anal plug dropped out as dievca orgasmed continuously.
That called for a break, and though Master took dievca’s shoes off, He moved dievca’s cuffs to one connection point and kept His dievca’s hands restrained as she lay on her side to recover. Master washed His cock and stood at the side of the bed to place His cock in dievca’s mouth while playing with her pussy using the vibrator.
When Master removed the vibrator and He told dievca to move back diagonally and present (ass up, head down) so her arms would be pulling on the single point restraint.
He entered dievca deeply from behind, Doming her fully. After three weeks of separation, Master let go completely.
dievca was a well-used submissive.
Explore bondage play at its most opulent with The Model Traitor’s hand-finished pleasure tools. Crafted from sumptuously soft Italian leather, each delectable item is finished with a soft fur upper and shimmering brass hardware for a beautifully tactile bondage experience.
Featuring a sumptuous suede-lined leather handle and durable brass chain, this lead connects to your favorite collar or restraint for sensual BDSM exploration. The strong, multi-directional brass lobster clip keeps your plaything firmly in place, and can be quickly unclipped should you wish to change to something new.
The Model Traitor is a London-based collaborative collection by renowned corsetry designer Sian Hoffman, and fine artist Valentina Piras. Every single piece is expertly crafted at their London Discipline Atelier and distinguishable by its use of irresistible materials and polished brass hardware.
Model Traitor O-Ring Collar and Lead can be found at Coco de Mer.
Exactly where your Sir wants you to be
Morning coffee for your Sir or Madam.
(dievca’s service will begin at 8 am)
Handmade in Berlin, the FRAULEIN KINK (Fräulein Kink) Leather Bondage Ankle Restraints are the epitome of elegance, both in and out of the bedroom. The detachable leather leads and ankle restraints can pair with your favorite heel and be used to restrain you to a chair or bed. Detachable leads can also be used separately as handcuffs.
- Metallic Gold Stitched Leather Straps
- SWAROVSKI® Light Colorado Topaz Gold Crystal Rivets
- Detachable Gold Leather Ankle Restraint Leads
- Engraved Kink Heart Detailing
Note: Boots NOT included
A bold statement of submission.
Keep it simple and clean.
Sexy will shine through.
A Lock in BDSM:
- a tool used in bondage
- a symbol of a relationship between Dominant and submissive
- a subtle message of being owned
Sharing their BDSM leanings with the World in a useful manner. XO
Floor to ceiling windows make for a great view,
but dievca’s apartment doesn’t warm-up quickly before the morning sun.
Enter a gift received over 3 years ago:
- 50″ x 70″
- 100% polyester with 95% cotton, 5% spandex trim
- Machine wash cold, tumble dry low
Fuzzy, cozy, light and wash machine friendly, the throw has been extremely useful, but not super stylish.
Enter Missoni Home:
- Material: 80% wool, 20% polyamide
- Dimensions: 130x190cm
- Soft chunky weave
- Neutral colors with multi colors in between
- Made in Italy
dievca thought she would upgrade with Missoni and donate the Ugg to Goodwill. Instead, she’s been using both throws consistently, one on the sofa and one in the bedroom.