surfacing (haiku)

Photo: Guido Argentini

The eyes are open
Aware but barely knowing
To slide thru the day

 


Learning about one’s self


Hmmm…dievca falls into this group…

Undergraduate and graduate women (N = 245) from a large midwestern university volunteered to complete nine self‐report scales and inventories. Thirty‐seven percent of the sample reported they had experienced nocturnal orgasm, and 30% reported having had the experience in the past year. The predictors accounted for a statistically significant amount of variation in each of the dependent variables: 33% of “ever experienced nocturnal orgasm,” 44% of “experienced nocturnal orgasm in the past year,” and 27% in the case of “frequency of nocturnal orgasm in the past year.” Positive attitudes toward and knowledge of nocturnal orgasms, sexual liberalism, and waking sexually excited from sleep (without experiencing orgasm) were the most important predictors of nocturnal orgasm experience.

-The Journal of Sex Research, Volume 22, 1986 – Issue 4. Barbara L. Wells


Sunday Morning Musings

You know, the US Midwest is a really beautiful place.  The photos are of the dawn of a day that is supposed to hold rain.  There is a woodpecker, pecking. Geese are flying back up North. Squirrels are scrambling, a Fox found its stash and moved it (there is a fox den somewhere on dievca’s parents land).

dievca is usually very aware of her surroundings and bodily movements in space.
Master calls her, “Self Aware”, internally and externally.

That brings us to personal Health.
With older Parents, one may be hyper-aware of Mortality. And you begin to be more in tune with your body — or you will choose to ignore your body…

dievca’s Aunt fought help, hid out and passed with maggots on her legs – it was a battle – always.

dievca’s Doctor put it this way, “There are patients who check their stool and those who don’t. Those who do, pay attention to little things in their body even if they are not palatable. They know when something is going wrong.” dievca checks, dievca’s Mom – doesn’t. dievca’s Dad, does…

It’s killing dievca’s Mom that everyone is aware and checking. Perhaps even making commentary.
But, she is the one benefitting from the checks and analysis.
And it is making EVERYONE’s life easier.

Mom is a pain-in-the-a**, but not as disagreeable and nasty as dievca’s Aunt

So, dievca is an advocate of bodily and mental awareness.
It saves a lot of trouble down the line.

Don’t forget to stop and analyze the Dawn.
That’s pure Joy.


Drama? What Drama? I had no idea….

Lucy-van-pelt-1-“Do you want to be honest, or do you want to win?
You could have it all if you could gracefully give in
Like when a martyr knows he’s a martyr
And looking in the mirror makes you cry harder
’bout your glittering ball and chain
In love, In love with your
Beautiful pain

Excuses and old theories repeat themselves and die
But when they don’t hold water
You try to keep them safe and dry”
– lyrics from the song Beautiful Pain by Rosanne Cash

 

dramaDrama: any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting,or striking interest or results.

dievca always thought she was a “no drama” zone.  she feels deeply and is very direct/honest with her emotions – but not apt to make a scene.

A friend used the word “drama”multiple times relating to dievca.  dievca thought she was missing something in the definition and looked the word up. The direct definition didn’t seem to apply either.

So, dievca  googled Drama vs. Emotions and ran into this article:

Mind Body Green: Are you expressing your feelings or just creating drama?

Drama eCard

OMG — dievca was horrified, she has done this!
And it prompted her to write this e-mail:

I have never understood why you use the word Drama relating to me. No one has ever used the word for me.  I didn’t think I do drama.

I kept thinking that I just was telling you how I feel….

Apparently, not.

I was looking up the definition of Drama for a blog post and came across something about drama vs emotions, this article explained an important difference to me:

So how do you avoid drama while simply feeling your feelings? The easiest way is this:
When communicating an emotional experience to whomever you feel provoked by, say, “I feel _____.
 
But when saying it in a different way:
 
“You statements” = drama.
You made me feel _____!

The message in between the lines is:

You screwed up.

You did something I don’t like.

You’re wrong.

I am sure I have done this in the past, I cannot change that~

But the past two emails, where I replied to you – I did not do it.

So, if you are generous – I guess we should start there to go  forward.

I still feel a deep need to say I am sorry. I had no idea.

Update:
dievca’s sincere apology was accepted, plus she is doing well at using different verbiage to describe her feelings.
Whew!