Once in awhile dievca runs into something just…in poor taste. It makes her roll her eyes and half smile.
Here is an offering for today (the link for the full book on reddit is down below).
Who finds these books?
Who made these books?
Why did I read the whole book?
dievca doesn’t catch SNL, so her Dutch friend keeps her up-to-date when there might be something funny:
YES! the ladies look fabulous and are ready to party! BUT…
Which Aging Babe issue have you run into?
- Can’t stay awake
- Killer shoes killing the feet
- Music too loud/ logistics problems
- Dietary Issues
- Exhausted and wanting to leave at 9 pm
dievca has qualified for ALL five at some point or another.
As her Mother says, “Its hell getting old!” XO
Your breasts grow and grow and grow during puberty, but by the time you’re between 18 and 20, breasts are usually “fully developed,” or finished growing. This doesn’t mean that the size of your breasts at age 18 are the size your breasts will be forever. Hormonal changes, weight loss, and weight gain can all have an effect on the size of your breasts.
After puberty and before pregnancy (if you become pregnant) is when your breasts are likely to appear the fullest. The two main things that give your breasts a shape and size are fat and fibrous connective tissue. After your breasts have finished developing your breasts are likely composed of more fibrous tissue than fatty tissue. Genetics have a hand in breast composition too. If your mom and grandma and grandma’s grandma all have very dense, fibrous breasts, you likely will too.
Gravity is a very real scientific force that no one on this planet can escape. Breasts can be heavy, gravity pulls down on heavy things, and this means your breasts may start showing gravity’s effects when you’re in your 40s. The second thing is that skin loses elasticity as it ages, so with the combined effect of gravity, it’s not unlikely that your breasts will sit lower on your chest. The third thing? Breasts get fattier, they’ll start to feel less dense in your 40s than they did when you were 23 or 33. They’ll look less full as a result, and the fullest part of them will sit lower on your chest.
Some women actually see an increase in breast size after menopause. That increase in size is caused by a few things: general weight gain all over the body, increased water retention, and a change in hormone levels. As with pre-menopause, breasts will be even less dense and composed of more fatty than fibrous tissue at this stage. This means the fullest part of your breasts will sit lower on your chest than it did before.
Even though most people’s breasts go through these same basic stages, you’d still be incredibly hard-pressed to find your exact booby twin roaming around in this world.
Maybe this tea towel will help!
A Thank You to Cosmo Magazine, the New York Times and dievca’s Doctor.
harsh discordance of sound; dissonance:
a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails. a discordant and meaningless mixture of sounds: the cacophony produced by city traffic at midday.
dievca experienced a cacophony of bodily noises as she slept. Every time she flipped over, reached for water, readjusted the sheets something popped or cracked. In the morning, she was amazed to find that her body was still in one piece without a lot of pain.
Various factors added to the experience:
- Aggressive deep tissue full body massage
- Running around with packing and errands
- Extensive play session with Master
- Session on a vibrator plate at the gym pre-flight
- Passing out on the flight to Europe
- Heavy stretching session after the flight
- Two beers and a long hot tub soak with friends
- A lot of salt from a BBQ and not enough water
- Pushing through to shift the sleep schedule
- Passing out in a very comfortable bed
- Hot flashes
It was a symphony of noise, unlike anything, dievca had ever experienced before…
What caused the noise?
Escaping gases: The synovial fluid present in the joints acts as a lubricant and contains oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide. When a joint pops or cracks the joint capsule is stretched causing gas to release quickly.
Movement of joints, tendons, and ligaments: When a joint moves, the tendon’s position changes and moves slightly out of place. A snapping sound can occur as the tendon returns to its original position. Your ligaments can also tighten as you move your joints resulting in a cracking sound and most commonly occurs in your knees or ankles.
Loss of cartilage: Arthritic joints tend to make more noises as the loss of smooth cartilage means the bones rub together on a rougher, more unstable surface.
Ligaments: Ligaments are fibrous tissues that connect two bones at a joint. Tight ligaments are prone to popping when they are suddenly moved, this sometimes results in short-lived pain in the area or sometimes you may not experience it at all.
Tendons: Tendons are fibrous tissues that connect muscle to bone and can also cause popping noises around a joint. This is most commonly found in snapping hip syndrome which causes a snapping sensation when the hip is flexed and extended.
Scar tissue: After joint injury or surgery, scar tissue, known as adhesions, is formed by the ligaments which are more prone to popping and cracking.
Why did it end up feeling very good:
When you pop a joint a stretch occurs in the joint capsule which results in relaxation of the surrounding muscles meaning that it feels particularly good in those tight or stiff places! This is also a good indication of where you might be tight in the body. Another theory suggests that popping a joint releases natural painkillers (or endogenous opiates) in the body.
Whatever – dievca was just happy to wake up in one piece and be functioning after all the noise.
Have you ever had this happen?
You know, the US Midwest is a really beautiful place. The photos are of the dawn of a day that is supposed to hold rain. There is a woodpecker, pecking. Geese are flying back up North. Squirrels are scrambling, a Fox found its stash and moved it (there is a fox den somewhere on dievca’s parents land).
dievca is usually very aware of her surroundings and bodily movements in space.
Master calls her, “Self Aware”, internally and externally.
That brings us to personal Health.
With older Parents, one may be hyper-aware of Mortality. And you begin to be more in tune with your body — or you will choose to ignore your body…
dievca’s Aunt fought help, hid out and passed with maggots on her legs – it was a battle – always.
dievca’s Doctor put it this way, “There are patients who check their stool and those who don’t. Those who do, pay attention to little things in their body even if they are not palatable. They know when something is going wrong.” dievca checks, dievca’s Mom – doesn’t. dievca’s Dad, does…
It’s killing dievca’s Mom that everyone is aware and checking. Perhaps even making commentary.
But, she is the one benefitting from the checks and analysis.
And it is making EVERYONE’s life easier.
Mom is a pain-in-the-a**, but not as disagreeable and nasty as dievca’s Aunt
So, dievca is an advocate of bodily and mental awareness.
It saves a lot of trouble down the line.
Don’t forget to stop and analyze the Dawn.
That’s pure Joy.