“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

Some things are lost in translation. dievca understands that…converting from one language to another is tricky. Appropriate behavior is cultural. But, “using” someone is something else. dievca has a young person in her Life, from Europe, she has known for many years.  This young person separated from a long-term partner (8 years) and came running to dievca in NYC for regrouping.

No problem.

Deciding whether you are a Lesbian or Straight takes a more “open” atmosphere.

In the following 6 months, she has been back 3 times. Twice staying with dievca 9+ days.
dievca has a pullout bed in the middle of her open kitchen/living space. The logistics get awkward after too long.

fish and visitors stink after three days

dievca had a discussion with her about finding her own spaces if she continues to visit NYC. This trip, the young’un stayed elsewhere – but showed up on dievca’s doorstep to eat….bringing friends….expecting dievca to have food.

Which is why dievca ran into that coffee sign, above. After buying fresh fruit and pastries (the easy way to prep for a Brunch) – the sign made her smile, take a deep breath. get rid of her ire and grab a cappuccino.

Yes, there was offer of payment for the meals. It was half-hearted, but there. And the young’un thinks of dievca as a second Mother. mi casa es su casa

dievca decided to make the young’un pay via in trade. Grunt work. Get your pound of flesh via hard work. The apartment is clean, windows washed, boxes are moved to storage, dievca’s eyebrows are groomed, her make-up sorted and updated with instructions.

dievca is no longer irritated with her friend/daughter/houseguest/whatever. she’s really a sweet person and dievca got her pound of flesh.

But, dievca will be happy to have her coffee in peace, for the near future.

Psychology Today: The Trouble with houseguests

PS. Master’s opinion is that dievca is being used…