How to beat the upcoming Mercury in Retrograde: September 27 to October 17, 2021

Mercury Retrograde - BuzzfeedThree times a year, the planet Mercury appears to travel backward across the sky. We refer to these periods as times when Mercury is in apparent retrograde motion, or simply ”Mercury retrograde.” To those who practice astrology, these times in particular were traditionally associated with confusion, delay, and frustration. Think undelivered love letters, email blunders, and frazzled travel plans! This is an excellent time to reflect on the past, however, and it’s said that intuition is high during these periods. Coincidences can be extraordinary.

What to do during the Retrograde…

Mercury Retrograde Protection Necklace $58 2

The planet Mercury rules communication in all forms—listening, writing, reading, speaking, and so on—as well as activities closely related to communication, like negotiations and contracts. It also rules travel, automobiles, shipping, and mail.

So, when Mercury is retrograde, try to remain flexible, patient, and understanding, allow extra time for travel, and avoid signing onto any new contracts that you’re unsure of. Double check your email responses and check in with reservations before you take that trip. 

AND…

wear JEWELS FOR BAD JUJU

Mercury Retrograde Protection Necklace $58The necklace shown above has a sparkly gem trio which was curated to purportedly counteract the perils of astrology’s most notorious season. Smoky quartz and fluorite stones are said to ward off negativity, while blue lace agate is thought to provide calm during this astrological aggravator’s more stressful moments. Handmade in California.

MSRP $58 on Uncommongoods.com

MADE FROM

Fluorite, Blue Lace Agate, Sterling Silver, and Smokey Quartz
 

CREATED BY

Juraté Brown and Johnna Green = Jurate Los Angeles

MEASUREMENTS

Chain: 16″ L with 2″ Extender
Crystals: 0.63″ L x 0.15″ W each
 
A "Thank You" to the 2021 Farmer's Almanac


Secure, Anxious, Avoidant = Attachment Styles. Where do you fall?

attachmentUniversity of Denver researchers Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver were the first to study how attachment styles may come into play with romantic relationships. They published their findings in 1987. The original theory was developed by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 20th century. Bowlby theorized that an infant’s access (and perceived) access to a parental figure results in how safe and protected they feel.

If you would like to determine your attachment style, please click here!

Secure
A secure attachment is an ideal in a healthy, supportive relationship, and the majority of adults fall in line with it. Hazan and Shaver’s research stated that  56% of participants identified as having secure attachments. A secure attachment means being able to accept and support partners even despite their faults and generally feeling happy and trusting of partners. If you have a secure attachment, you’re likely good at communicating—an important skill in a relationship and the bedroom. Compared to other styles, secure attachments are more likely to have longer-term relationships.

Anxious
Of the three attachment styles, anxious types are most likely to fall in love at first sight. According to Hazan and Shaver’s research, 19% of people identify as having this kind of attachment, which is prone to obsessive feelings and a need for reciprocation and higher rates than other styles. They are, however, more likely to be accepting of a partner’s faults than others—which can sometimes come at a cost. When it comes to intimacy, this type is a natural giver, but they can benefit from receiving too—they’re perfectly worthy, after all.

Avoidant
If you describe your love life as “an emotional rollercoaster,” you may be an avoidant attachment person. A quarter of participants in Hazan and Shaver’s research identified this type, which is characterized by having a fear of intimacy, and “emotional highs and lows.” That doesn’t mean that this type doesn’t feel attraction —they rate the same as secure types in this regard, according to Hazan and Shaver. They’re also likely to feel jealousy, though maybe not as intensely as those with anxious attachment styles. Learning how to put their walls down—even just a little—can prove most beneficial for this type. A little vulnerability may lead to more security down the line.


The other side of the family~

Ukrainian

On the other side of the family (Ukrainian), dievca is one of 22 cousins and the youngest by 10 years. she wasn’t born in the same state as the other cousins and didn’t grow up with them.  A Cousin just died –  possibly from COVID-19, her sibling is being cagy with information.  It all came out because another cousin didn’t hear from her on their regular 3rd day phone call – so another cousin called the sibling and then called dievca’s brother.  dievca’s brother is asking dievca to hunt down the 3rd sibling, who is gay, to find out more information or let them know about the death…

Are you lost?

It took dievca 5 years of asking her Mother who everyone was, trying to figure out who her cousins belonged to, what they did and their ages – a couple she has only met once.

She’s got it now.

And like every family — let’s sic the youngest on the problem.

She’s the baby and no one will get angry with her because she can play “clueless”. Plus, she was cute.

Watching the family dynamics in action is amazing.

BTW, dievca did hunt down the phone # for the gay sibling and will be calling today. That cousin likes her.

Baby bath


Qualities to look for in a partner (Vanilla or BDSM) – Good to Know

When looking for a partner we tend to look for brains, kindness, and attractiveness—the usual. But another quality might be just as important if you’re looking for a long-term, healthy relationship: “emotional fluency.”

Emotional fluency is the act of voicing your emotions with your partner.

This can be extended to roommates, family members, friends – especially in the close confines of COVID-19 quarantining.

In a recent interview with Science of Us, therapist Brian Gleason (and co-author, with his wife, of Exceptional Relationships: Transformation Through Embodied Couples Work) discusses the importance of voicing your emotions with your partner (which he dubs emotional fluency).

One of the biggest reasons couples have trouble is because they have not developed emotional fluency, he says.

“We’re just not trained to speak in emotional language,” says Gleason. Good news: He says it’s a skill we can improve. “The more [feelings] that we’re able to put into some sort of language and convey it to our partner—that these are my inner experiences right now—the more empathy there is in the relationship.”

What happens when you aren’t open about your emotions? Most people—when they’re stressed, angry, or sad—tend to withdraw and perhaps glue their eyes to their phone, shutting off from the rest of the world (including your partner), Gleason says. Sound familiar? (Guilty.)

“The less I can say, this is my inner experience, the more my partner is going to be reacting to [just] my outer behavior, oftentimes with judgment and frustration,” says Gleason.

By explaining your particular 4-1-1 du jour in a direct way,  you’re giving your partner what he or she needs in order to react with affirmations, advice, and other positive reinforcements.

In other words, as mom always said: Use your words! If you do, it can bring you closer together, instead of creating conflict, Gleason says.

Having an a-ha moment? The next time you’re stressed or angry, try to close Instagram and talk about it with your partner instead (could be easier said than done, but worth a try).

From a Well + Good article by Rachel Lapidos, click here.


Floating

Am I ahead?
Or am I behind?

Is doesn’t really matter,
when one is tired and lost.

If you figure it out,
please give a call.

Or text, or email.
To get the message through.

Until then, I plan to drift~

 

Floating Lanterns available here.


Take your panties off,


keep your stockings on.
“Yes, Sir.”


It was a week…+SantaCon…

20171203_221430.jpg Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!


Quem não se comunica se trumbica: December 3rd to 22nd, 2017

Take Care!

The idiom: Quem não se comunica se trumbica
Literal translation: “He who doesn’t communicate, gets his fingers burnt.”
What it means: “He who doesn’t communicate gets into trouble.”’

Photo: dievca Dec. 3rd: Lingua Franca Cashmere Sweater

Everyone:
December 3rd, mental Mercury—the ruler of chatty Gemini—launches into one last retrograde backspin in 2017, which will last until December 22. Take all the Mercury retrograde precautions: from backing up data and devices, to triple-confirming reservations, to booking a quick Airbnb instead of staying in your S.O.’s childhood bedroom with the creaky floors and passive-aggressive parents down the hall.

dievca:
From December 3 to 22, Mercury will be retrograde, which could foil technology, communication and travel—just when you REALLY need these things to go off without a hitch. And it might feel like a double whammy, because Mercury is backtracking through Sagittarius and your interpersonal third house, increasing the likelihood that you’ll feel wildly misunderstood this month.

Master:
That said, be careful what you wish for. Mercury, the planet of communication, technology and travel, will go retrograde from December 3 to 22, scrambling signals.


Stand Back

like everyone,
dievca has a lot going on right now

Master hasn’t been there for her,
He likes everything light and friendly

so dievca avoids sharing,
and digs in hard to stand up

that act of dominance
comes with a brusque wind


it also brings something else,
a F*ck you, F*ck me Attitude


which is not anyone’s fault,
it’s a form of protection

just be careful around dievca,
under the fire is … fragility

 

given time she’ll re-find her ladylike,
until then its Stevie Nicks and alcohol

 


Lyrics
No one looked as I walked by
Just an invitation would have been just fine
Said no to him again and again
First, he took my heart, then he ran

No one knows how I feel
What I say unless you read between my lines
One man walked away from me
First, he took my hand, take me home

Stand back, stand back
In the middle of my room
I did not hear from you
It’s all right, it’s all right
To be standing in a line
Standing in a line
I would cry

Do not turn away, my friend
Like a willow I can bend
No man calls my name
No man came

So I walked on down away from you
Maybe your attention was more
Than you could do
One man did not call
He asked me for my love
And that was all

Stand back, stand back
In the middle of my room
I did not hear from you
It’s all right, it’s all right
To be standing in a line
Standing in a line
Standing in a line

So I walked on down the line
Away from you
Maybe your attention was more
Than I could do
One man did not call
Well, he asked me for my love
That was all

Written by Prince Rogers Nelson, Stevie Nicks • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group


Oh, Sh*t! Mercury in Retrograde

dievca is in a panic.
Sometimes,
Master and dievca have trouble communicating
in the best astrology scenario.
Mercury in Retrograde?
Oh, Shit!
Retrograde motion is an APPARENT change in the movement of the planet through the sky. It is not REAL in that the planet does not physically start moving backwards in its orbit. It just appears to do so because of the relative positions of the planet and Earth and how they are moving around the Sun.

Because Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel — when the planet goes retrograde — all those things go backwards.
They start to get ugly and tangle up.

Mercury Retrograde in 2017
April 9 – May 3
August 12 – September 5
December 3 – December 22

Buzzfeed, Nasa StarChild

7 Things to Avoid During Mercury Retrograde

1. Traveling—Expect last-minute flight cancellations, postponement and long delays. Allow extra time when traveling; make sure your bags are secure, re-confirm your reservations.

2. Repairing your car—If you can hold off – do it.

3. Purchasing computers or phones
—One word: Lemon.

4. Accepting or starting a job— During Mercury retrograde, things may not be as they seem. You might have thought you accepted one thing and actually got into another. Messy.

5. Scheduling meetings— Confusion, mistakes and cancellations will occur, try to schedule things after the retrograde.

6. Initiating new projects— People may either not understand it or oppose it.  You may find out later that you left out a vitally important detail that you didn’t think of. If your project is adopted, it may either fail or have to be totally restructured later to succeed.

7. Making agreements—Negotiating contracts, agreements or signing any legal documents—be mindful of whatever you put into writing, because it may need serious revision when Mercury goes direct. You may miss something in the details.

Again, the best advice! wait until Mercury goes direct…

Huffington Post (modified by dievca)

And if you cannot wait on the above,
you can always wear this sweater to explain what happened:

Lingua Franca: Mercury Was In Retrograde (click photo to purchase)


Cuddling – it’s not just about oxytocin

Master and dievca’s best communication occurs when they are cuddling.back-rub

Why?

Cuddling Helps You Communicate Better

Most people want to feel understood, and communication is the vehicle by which they transmit understanding and empathy. Non-verbal communication can be a powerful way to say to your partner, “I get you.” Cuddling is a way of saying, “I know how you feel.” It allows us to feel known by our partner in ways that words can’t convey.

The Beverly Hills Courier, May 10, 2013


dievca’s dilemma

communication-breaking-downYou tell someone a piece of information and they base their expectations on that data. Then the data changes, but you don’t share the changes because you are in your own World.

So, it seems that on three different instances you have lied and you made no effort to hide the lies. Who is at fault?

Did you lie?
Does that person have a right to feel ill-used?

Or is it just miscommunication?
Or was the information held back on purpose, a Freudian Slip?

Does it become worse if that person needed you?
But what if they didn’t tell you, they needed you?

dievca’s dilemma.