Understanding a friend’s behavior – after years of friendship.

In France, there are several words for “to complain”: there’s se plaindre”, used for regular old complaining; there’s porter plainte”, for complaining more officially. And then there’s râler”complaining just for the fun of it. A curmudgeonly grumble.

Aha!

In France, a complaint is an appropriate – and frequent – conversation starter. “To Americans, saying something negative sounds like you’re closing the conversation”, in France, such comments are perceived as “a way to invite other people’s opinions”. North Americans, she said, are not as comfortable with confrontation – or with criticism – as the French are. Râler, then, “comes across as something that’s more intelligent than being too starry-eyed and optimistic about things”. (Julie Barlow – Canadian Journalist)

dievca’s friend is half-French, but it is a large half of her Life.  That consistent grumbling is an invitation to an intelligent conversation….and dievca has missed the boat a number of times. XOXO

BBC Article: Why the French Love to Complain

An additional note from dievca – when Americans hear a complaint, they think they need to fix the issue. Apparently, the “râler” creates no such obligation. Good to know!


Green-eyed Monster

The Merchant of Venice, 1596:

Portia:
How all the other passions fleet to air,
As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair,
And shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy! O love,
Be moderate; allay thy ecstasy,
In measure rein thy joy; scant this excess.
I feel too much thy blessing: make it less,
For fear I surfeit.

Othello, 1604,

Iago:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!

dievca is tired and jealous. Jealousy is not as glamorous as Shakespeare’s writing~

The guilt arrives as she feels she has no right to be jealous.

Wait! It’s not jealousy…it’s envy. Green with envy~

dievca should be happy about other people’s good fortune, right?

The people around her travel to Miami, Maine, Cape Cod, California, Copenhagen, Belize, Argentina, Philadelphia, Switzerland, Vietnam, Montreal, Colorado, Scotland, Iceland, Cuba for pleasure trips…

dievca’s last three trips were for family and taking care of their needs or working 13 hour days for two weeks.  The next trip will be back to her Parents, again. It’s not relaxing. And dievca gets this: “It’s so much easier when you are around, when are you coming back?” or “I’m only going to be around so long.” or “Can you eBay the two exercise machines for me? I know that X,Y,Z is nowhere near NY, but you eBay and I don’t” — how should dievca feel?

Note: dievca tries to make sure she does something she likes during those trips, plus she tries to remember that the trips are for people she loves….but a weekend getaway, a college football game, a stop at the beach purely for herself wouldn’t go amiss.

dievca just cannot bring herself to do it…and that is her fault.

Just let her whinge, ok?  The clothes coming up are worth it.

Remember those people who were traveling for fun? dievca gets a bit resentful when those same people come home and complain about how they are behind on work or their bodies aren’t working well because they missed yoga…really, dievca’s heart is bleeding for you – having five days off was tough.

They could have brought her a bottle of wine or a little gift, right?

she (dievca) is a shitty person, huh?
she is really tired and cranky…

Vintage Pin Up Fred Rodewald Green Raincoat

Look how sexy the pin-up is in green –
If dievca can’t travel, maybe a little green Retail Therapy would help easy her jealousy~

NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 07: Rita Ora seen on the streets of Manhattan on December 7, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by James Devaney/GC Images) Coat by Emilio Pucci

Yves Saint Laurent green patent leather easy bag

Draped emerald-green silk dress by Lanvin

COS green ribbed cashmere hat

COS green cashmere scarf

Alyx Green Cargo Pants

Liebeskind Stanford Velvet Backpack Green $228

Green jacket By Saint Laurent

VALENTINO GARAVANI Leather Shoulder Bag green

Lanvin Green Silk Satin One-shouldered Dress

Gianfranco Ferré runway show. Fall Trends, Green Gloves

Anndra Neen cage bag green ShopBop

VINTAGE 50’S EMERALD GREEN SILK CHIFFON COCKTAIL PARTY DRESS BY MISS ELLIETTE

Grass Green Hoodie Wool Cape Etsy

Proenza Schouler green PS1 medium suede tote

Coach Green leather gloves rabbit interior

Jimmy Choo Darylin suede and patent-leather pumps ($695) green

Lanvin Spring 2004 Green Dress silk

Clingy Wallet In Green Patent Leather by 49 Square Miles

Chloe leather trench coat green

Etsy Green Banana Leaf Midi Skirt Custom $71.00

Moschino Cheap and Chic Green paillettes Dress

H & M Green Sweater with Appliques

H & M dark green v-neck t-shirt

Proenza Schouler Green Lux Leather PS1 Tiny Satchel Bag

Lili Pepper Dark Green Coin Purse

J. Peterman 1940’s Cord Dress Green