Advice…for the submissive.

In a nutshell: Advice giving usually doesn’t work, and often completely backfires.

To be fair, we all find ways to tell others how to live. We can’t help it. We all have strong points of view and believe that others should do or think as we do. And most of us are comfortable expressing those views to others, whether they’re interested or not.

Yet, research using reactance theory informs us that whenever someone tells us what to do and how to do it, we respond with defensive defiance because we want to maximize our personal freedom and decision making.

If we really want to encourage behavior (or belief) change in others we actually need to move away from advice-giving (especially when our advice is unsolicited) and toward modeling. In other words, we need to be an example for others rather than telling them what to do.

Research on observational learning (in conjunction with an understanding of reactance theory) suggests that while people will resist unsolicited advice and instruction, they will follow the behaviors of others—especially when there appear to be good and reinforcing outcomes from these behaviors (or beliefs).

Hmmm…

dievca is still going to give you her advice:

TRY ON YOUR PRESENTATION OUTFIT BEFORE SHOWING UP AT YOUR MASTER OR MISTRESS’ PLACE.

dievca ended up with a Corset Disaster, yesterday. It shrunk from handwashing and dievca’s boobs are running larger. All the hooks closed and she could pull the ties, but she looked like a muffin popping over the tin.

Master’s solution to dievca’s problem was easy:

“Try the outfit on before meeting for D/s”

dievca does plan to heed Master’s advice, will you plan to heed dievca’s advice?