A submissive re-evaluation

elegant submissiveMaster is traveling and dievca has had some open time to review her Life and changes in the past 2 years. Between COVID, deaths, aging – Master and dievca’s relationship has changed. And as body changes, social changes and family changes have eased – she’s wondering what will return or diminish.

dievca is starting her reflection process by defining the type of Relationship Master and dievca had at the beginning. Then she plans to review where she thinks they are now. Finally, she will communicate her analysis to Master and listen to His thoughts and wants for the future.

9 Types of submissives:

  • The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
    Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms for the masochist’s own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one’s own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism).
  • Pseudo-submissive non-slave
    Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
  • Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
    Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
  • True submissive non-slave
    Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
  • True submissive PLAY slave
    Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one’s partner’s sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)
  • Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
    Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one’s Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.
  • Part-time consensual but REAL slave
    Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress’/Master’s “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life – practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one’s time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave’s free time.
  • Full-time live-in consensual slave
    Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress’/Master’s use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren’t socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
  • Consensual total slave with no limits
    A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn’t exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

© 1984, 1988 by Mistress Diane Vera as reprinted in
Pat Califia, ed. The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual (Boston: Lace / Alyson) pp. 69-71
A Thank You to SluttyGirlProblem – Victoria Sparrow and Officer Wes for the information that made dievca start to think.
www.officerwes.com © 1997-2021 by Officer Wes


Garter, Garter Belt, Garter Skirt

Initionally, Garters were use to hold up hose or socks.  The advent of elastic dimished the usage of Garters in real life, but you still see limited usage at Weddings. Why?

gartertoss

Traditionally, the witnesses would accompany a newly wed couple to the bridal chambers to ensure consummation. The wedding garter being retrieved from the bride served as proof to other guests that the deed was done, and the garter was then tossed into the sea of people.

Symbolically, the garter was thought to influence fertility. It also symbolized marriage consummation and future children for the couple. Because of this, the garter was fiercely sought after at weddings. It was an honor to detach the garter from the bride and was believed that the luck of the wedding couple would pass on to the guest who obtained the garter.

Garter Belts (or Suspender Belts): a belt with attached garters or fasteners, worn as an undergarment to hold up stockings.

Lovesick Garterbelt

Which brings us to the newer term-

Garter Skirt: (a dievca and Master favorite) A wider garter belt acting as a short skirt or mini skrt which can attach stockings.  Allows for bottom coverage with easy access – a flattering, sassy way to Present.

Lace skirt with garters attached


Coffee with a dead friend.

The ghost is drinking coffee

Everybody knows the secular holiday of Halloween. But not everybody knows it derives from a Holy Day, All Saints’ Day on Nov. 1, which is followed by All Souls’ Day on Nov. 2.

The root word of Halloween is ‘’hallow’’  which means ‘’holy.’’ The suffix “een” is an abbreviation of “evening.” It refers to the Eve of All Hallows, the night before the Christian Holy Day that honors saintly people from the past.

All Saints is a celebration of the communion of saints, those people we believe are in heaven.

All Souls’ Day is a day to pray for all souls.

Where is dievca going with this on a COFFEE MONDAY MORNING?

she realized that she would really like to get a coffee and sit down and have a chat with a dead friend. The friend she went to College with, the friend who loved the Fine Young Cannibals and the Cure, the friend with whom she caused a lot of trouble with, the friend who didn’t pass judgement, the friend who dealt with Gall Bladder Cancer then Pancreatic Cancer with grace.

Do you have anyone you would like to have coffee with?

All Soul’s Day would be the Day.

dievca will hit her friend’s favorite coffee shop in NYC tomorrow.

The graveside chat will be something for next year.


Words

Language is a measure of culture, but also, in many ways, language can be a measure of time. The words we use—if they are new or relatively new—are the words we need to express and explain our world. If these words then also become widely used, it becomes the dictionary’s job to explain this use.

Here are some words that were added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary this year:

  • Long hauler : a person who experiences one or more long-term effects following initial improvement or recovery from a serious illness (such as COVID-19)
  • Pod and Bubble : a usually small group of people (such as family members, friends, coworkers, or classmates) who regularly interact closely with one another but with few or no others in order to minimize exposure and reduce the transmission of infection during an outbreak of a contagious disease. Bubble also gained an additional meaning: an area within which sports teams stay isolated from the general public during a series of scheduled games so as to prevent exposure to disease and that includes accommodations, amenities, and the location at which the games are held
  • Hard pass : a firm refusal or rejection of something (such as an offer)
  • Flex informal : an act of bragging or showing off
  • Cancel culture : the practice or tendency of engaging in mass canceling as a way of expressing disapproval and exerting social pressure
  • Makerspace : a communal public workshop in which makers can work on small personal projects
  • Coworking : being, relating to, or working in a building where multiple tenants (such as entrepreneurs, start-ups, or nonprofits) rent working space (such as desks or offices) and have the use of communal facilities
  • Crowdfunding : the practice of obtaining needed funding (as for a new business) by soliciting contributions from a large number of people especially from the online community
  • Gig worker : a person who works temporary jobs typically in the service sector as an independent contractor or freelancer
  • Decarceration : release from imprisonment also : the practice or policy of reducing the number of people subject to imprisonment
  • BIPOC (abbreviation) : Black, Indigenous, (and) People of Color
  • Folx : folks —used especially to explicitly signal the inclusion of groups commonly marginalized
  • Sapiosexual : of, relating to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attraction to highly intelligent people
  • Silver fox : an attractive middle-aged man having mostly gray or white hair
  • ASMR or autonomous sensory meridian response : a pleasant tingling sensation that originates on the back of the scalp and often spreads to the neck and upper spine, that occurs in some people in response to a stimulus (such as a particular kind of sound or movement), and that tends to have a calming effect
  • Hygge : a cozy quality that makes a person feel content and comfortable
  • Second Gentleman : the husband or male partner of a vice president or second in command of a country or jurisdiction


If you are wishing for a Unicorn

Definition 1 of Unicorn related to the BDSM Lifestyle:
There’s a term nearly everybody in the Swinger world, the BDSM world, and the Polyamorous world is familiar with, summarized in one neat, pretty, sparkly mental image of one word: Unicorn. On the surface it’s a simple term, relating to the mythical creature of lore that is rumored to exist but is nearly impossible to find. Furthermore, once found, it’s nearly impossible to keep, for, after all, nobody can really own a unicorn. (credit absinthepassion.wordpress.com )

Definition 2:
Colloquial; Synonym for hot or Bi babe or HBB, often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.

The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous. Because of the demands that this type of couple places on the woman (that she be single and not take on any additional partners, and become involved with both members of the couple equally, and often “complete” their family as a surrogate mother and housekeeper and/or breadwinner and not do anything that may threaten or disrupt the existing couple), many in the poly community call this type of woman a ‘Unicorn’, as in mythical and not likely to be found, even though there are plenty of bi-poly women around.

Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bi-poly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets.
(credit Urban dictionary.com).

If you are looking for a Unicorn buying this Pouch might be a great deal easier.
And it is a lovely item for the Little in your life. XO

Opening Ceremony UNDERCOVER Unicorn Pouch
Printed leather front
White leather back
Zip back closure
On sale for $60 with further discounts available
Opening Ceremony is closing their stores and temporarily closing their website. The sale is quite good.


Hey “Fluffball”! (something of use)

Dog groomed by Yoriko Hamachiyo, click photo for link to the ‘Insider’ article

fluffball. Noun. (plural fluffballs)

  1. A ball of fluff, or a creature that resembles one.
  2. Soft things like animals that are cute and /or fun to pet.
  3. Someone who is or acts like they have their head in the sky.
  4. Someone who purports to have technical experience in their chosen field, but lacks a fundamental understanding of concepts beyond anything that isn’t the buzzword of the month.

dievca’s definition:

The object attached to her keys so she can find them in her dark backpack interior by feel. dievca’s is real fur. Others. which are faux fur, are easily available.

Note: dievca didn’t realize how much she depends on her sense of touch for the keychain until she gave her 4-year-old messy one to the puppy adoption place along with old towels.

Yves Salomon–Fox fur Pompom Keychain $110 (click photo to purchase)

Faux fur options (click photo to purchase, more colors available):

Amazon Faux Fur Fluffball Key Chain $8.99


Special

Christopher Kate Black Intarsia Special Sweater

dievca really wants to buy this sweater for a close friend. It would be given with a great deal of humor.

Because dievca is returning to Scandinavia for work, she’s been running around buying hair dye, allergy meds, Coach items, etc. Some are items people have requested and the rest are gifts dievca has found for friends.

One of her very close friends speaks excellent English. But sometimes words take a different meaning in another country.  Like the word “Special” – here’s the Mirriam-Webster definition:

special

adjective

spe·​cial | \ ˈspe-shəl  \

Definition of special

1distinguished by some unusual quality especially:: being in some way superior our special blend
2held in particular esteem special friend
3areadily distinguishable from others of the same category: UNIQUE they set it apart as a special day of thanksgiving
bof, relating to or constituting a species: SPECIFIC
4being other than the usual: ADDITIONALEXTRA
5designed for a particular purpose or occasion

noun

Definition of special

1one that is used for a special service or occasion caught the commuter special to work
2something (such as a television program) that is not part of a regular series
3a featured dish at a restaurant the specials of the day

 

None of these definitions apply to how, dievca’s friend uses the word, “Special”. The friend uses the word to describe someone who is high maintenance and demanding or a little bit crazy. Someone who is a pain-in-the-neck.    that one? she’s special

The word is said with an inferred eyeball roll.

OK – its sarcasm.

Wouldn’t this sweater be great for someone who is (wait for it….) special herself? dievca’s friend would laugh so hard if she received this sweater as a gift.

Do you know anyone who is…..Special?


redolence

Photo: dievca 05/2018 crabapple blossoms by the Hudson River

There is no glory in star or blossom till looked upon by a loving eye; There is no fragrance in April breezes till breathed with joy as they wander by.

William Cullen Bryant

Redolence is the way something smells.

dievca always pauses on her way to work to enjoy the redolence of the flowering crabapple trees. The trees are in blossom earlier this year than last.

The word redolence almost always refers to the very best odors and scents.


Pathetic

If you describe someone or something as pathetic, you mean that they make you feel impatient or angry, often because they are weak or not very good.

dievca is calling herself pathetic….not in the real sense. In the sense that she knows she is weak and she is laughing at herself.
Why?

Photo: dievca NYC Neiman Marcus 03/2019

The custom $400 sweatshirt…The sweatshirt itself is Atelier Notify and $110 — so the custom graphics (only a silk screen – not embroidery, mind you) is $300+.

That dievca is even thinking about this is bad…
Now you know why she calls herself pathetic

To resist the urge to buy — dievca is finishing off the last of her taxes, grocery shopping and visiting to three open houses on the UWS. Housing prices are going down and it might be time to buy~
Umm, the sweatshirt would be cheaper than buying a co-op. Co-op will last longer, hopefully. 😁

Have a lovely Sunday!


Spring

Photo: Philippe Halsman, Audrey Hepburn jumping

be full of the joys of spring

uk humorous

to be very happy:

She bounced into the office, full of the joys of spring.


Speaking of the Joys of Spring – the gift from Master.
The start of dievca’s Garden.



Naughty (wink, wink)

(click photo to purchase)

adjective
1.
(especially of children) disobedient; badly behaved.
“you’ve been a really naughty boy”
2.
INFORMAL
mildly rude or indecent, typically because related to sex.
“naughty goings-on”
synonyms: indecent, risqué, rude, racy, ribald, bawdy, broad, spicy, suggestive, titillating, improper, indelicate, indecorous, off color;

Olympia Le-Tan handbag

 


Mesh (lingerie)

Myla London Verity Mesh Lingerie

​noun:
a material loosely woven of wire, plastic, or thread so that it has spaces in it like a net

verb:
(of two or more things) to fit together or be suitable for each other:

Definition: Cambridge English Dictionary.

The TANGA tango (lingerie)

Tanga Panties

current description is : A moderate to minimal coverage European panty silhouette with back coverage that is more than a thong but narrower than a bikini. Tangas are a comfortable way to transition from a bikini to a thong.

The main difference between Tanga and Cheeky underwear is the amount of coverage you get. Tangas tend to be more revealing at the back while Cheeky cuts are more covered up.

The Oxford dictionary definition is, “A pair of briefs consisting of small panels connected by strings at the sides.”.

OK, that can differ from string bikini panties by the amount of coverage in the back. Right?

Add Brazilian Panties to the mix:

The Brazilian cut panty name refers to how the back of the panty looks, while the front can be any style. The most common way to describe a Brazilian panty is that it is wider in the back than a thong, but much less coverage than a regular bikini cut.

Consider that the word “tanga” in Spanish means “thong”….

With that…there is chaos….

dievca sees confusion with all the descriptions — just go with the style that your Sir or Madam prefers. XO


Eye Candy

eye can·dy
/ī ˈkandē
noun – informal
Something purely aesthetically pleasing, that is, pleasing to the senses. Can be a person, a film, a sunset, a flower, or anything else you can see.

~ Urban Dictionary

In a sentence:

dievca is heading to the gym to work on becoming a piece of eye candy for her Master.


misogynistic

mi·sog·y·nis·tic
/məˌsäjəˈnistik/
adjective
strongly prejudiced against women.

Oh, so that’s what that word means.

Wow!  dievca hasn’t really run into this in her Life.
she’s lucky, she’s surrounded by some wonderful Men.

That said she had an issue with one of her building’s maintenance men.

Photo: Michael Goldman Woman Doing the Dishes

It all started with the dishwasher breaking. The maintenance guy truly did not listen to what was happening and just told dievca that she’s using the wrong soap (Cascade?!?!). The guy didn’t touch the dishwasher, nor did he come back to work on it – then he closed the work order, that evening, citing that dievca agreed there wasn’t a problem.

What?!?!?
There’s black water in the bottom – it’s not draining.

(Note: dievca has seen this maintenance man having deep discussions with Men in the building, never a Woman. she didn’t get to say a word and she thinks it was more than just a bad day.)

dievca re-opened up that work order so fast, your head would’ve spun and she hit up a couple of doormen and maintenance crew with her ire.

It was noticeable when they sent another person the next day. The sink needed snaking for a blockage and he listened to a cycle of the dishwasher —  and determined that the pump is burned out.

Put dievca on the list for a new dishwasher!

The work order is still open and apparently dievca is not a lunatic.
Oh, and using Cascade is ok.

Looks like dievca will be washing dishes in the nude until the new machine arrives!


A little rhythm with the Morning Joe

kaf·fee·klatsch

/ˈkafāˌklaCH/
noun
plural noun: kaffeeklatsches
  1. an informal social gathering at which coffee is served.
    • talking or gossip at an informal gathering where coffee is served.

Good Morning!


borrowing from the cyclists: bonked

Kate Upton nude on a bed, from the photo book Culo, by Raphael Mazzucco.

bonk
/bäNGk/
INFORMAL
verb
past tense: bonked; past participle: bonked
1.
knock or hit (something) to cause a reverberating sound.
“he bonked his head on the plane’s low bulkhead”
2.
have sexual intercourse with (someone).
3.
(of a cyclist or runner) reach a point of exhaustion that makes one unable to go further.
“I bonked and couldn’t pedal another stroke”

dievca is done, she has bonked.


Basque, Guêpière, Bodice, Corset = Clarification

Sometimes the words seem to describe the same types of lingerie, let’s clarify these four pieces:

A basque refers to a fitted garment, with a cup, extending down to the waist line or just above. It is usually made of lace, or stretch lace and has plastic boning to support the shape of the body. It has suspender straps for holding stockings in place, which are sometimes removable.

A gureêpiè is fitted garment, with a cup, extending down to over the hips with suspender straps attached. Like the basque, it is usually made of lace, or stretch lace and has plastic boning to support the shape of the body. The basque, guêpière are loosely the same thing apart from the length of the garment. These days basque is the more common term, so you might even find a longline basque that extends over the hips, so I would usually follow the naming convention of the brand to describe the garment.

A bodice tends to be a less structured garment, something that laces up and goes over another article of clothing.

A corset should not be confused with the three garments above. A corset is a structured garment with steel or plastic boning that can be tightened to manipulate the shape of the waist. This is the only garment that will physically change the shape of the body and can do so permanently if you are corset training.