Emotions, Feelings and Drama

e·mo·tion
əˈmōSH(ə)n
noun
plural noun: emotions
a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others

feel·ing
ˈfēliNG
noun
plural noun: feelings
an emotional state or reaction.
“a feeling of joy”

dra·ma
ˈdrämə
noun
1. a play for theater, radio, or television.
2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

Emotions can be measured by a body’s physical response to a situation. They tend to be predictable and well understood.

Feelings are a mental response to emotions. Feelings represent a personal reaction towards experienced emotions.

Drama is making your emotions/feelings someone else’s responsibility!

Thank you to the “Emotional Detective
and a conversation with Chris from the Muscleheaded Blog


Drama? What Drama? I had no idea….

Lucy-van-pelt-1-“Do you want to be honest, or do you want to win?
You could have it all if you could gracefully give in
Like when a martyr knows he’s a martyr
And looking in the mirror makes you cry harder
’bout your glittering ball and chain
In love, In love with your
Beautiful pain

Excuses and old theories repeat themselves and die
But when they don’t hold water
You try to keep them safe and dry”
– lyrics from the song Beautiful Pain by Rosanne Cash

 

dramaDrama: any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting,or striking interest or results.

dievca always thought she was a “no drama” zone.  she feels deeply and is very direct/honest with her emotions – but not apt to make a scene.

A friend used the word “drama”multiple times relating to dievca.  dievca thought she was missing something in the definition and looked the word up. The direct definition didn’t seem to apply either.

So, dievca  googled Drama vs. Emotions and ran into this article:

Mind Body Green: Are you expressing your feelings or just creating drama?

Drama eCard

OMG — dievca was horrified, she has done this!
And it prompted her to write this e-mail:

I have never understood why you use the word Drama relating to me. No one has ever used the word for me.  I didn’t think I do drama.

I kept thinking that I just was telling you how I feel….

Apparently, not.

I was looking up the definition of Drama for a blog post and came across something about drama vs emotions, this article explained an important difference to me:

So how do you avoid drama while simply feeling your feelings? The easiest way is this:
When communicating an emotional experience to whomever you feel provoked by, say, “I feel _____.
 
But when saying it in a different way:
 
“You statements” = drama.
You made me feel _____!

The message in between the lines is:

You screwed up.

You did something I don’t like.

You’re wrong.

I am sure I have done this in the past, I cannot change that~

But the past two emails, where I replied to you – I did not do it.

So, if you are generous – I guess we should start there to go  forward.

I still feel a deep need to say I am sorry. I had no idea.

Update:
dievca’s sincere apology was accepted, plus she is doing well at using different verbiage to describe her feelings.
Whew!