The return of Cocktail Attire – dievca’s dilemma

Retrofete Grace Dress in Chocolate.

Does this dress work as Cocktail Attire?

Cocktail attire is meant to bridge the gap between day and night.  It is still an occasion to dress up, but a full-length gown is not necessary. This merges the silhouette of a garden party dress (shorter) with the fabric and embellishments of a formal gown. Think somewhere between a sophisticated formal occasion and office or party wear.

Still, with so much ambiguity, cocktail attire could mean different things depending on the venue, the time of day, and the season.

During the day, think natural colors and fresh styles and in the evening, feel free to utilize darker hues and embellishments such as sequins or feathers (so long as your dress doesn’t sweep the floor).  The goal is to look polished and dressy – but not takeaway from the event

Ladies: When in doubt, a LBD, a pair of sensible heels or dressy flats, some nice earrings, and a classy clutch will always work for a cocktail event, no matter the venue or time of day. In addition to a traditional cocktail dress, women can also wear dressy suits or nice jumpsuits paired with heels or formal flats.

Gentlemen: a suit and tie are required for cocktail attire. Go with darker hues in chillier months or for evening events, but feel free to wear lighter grays or blues in warmer weather or for daytime celebrations. As for shoes, keep it classy with a nice pair of dark dress shoes that match your belt.

OK – now dievca’s dilemma — does she wear the Retrofete Grace Dress in Chocolate (above photo) or not?  It’s a quieter color, but completely covered in sequins….

  • The venue is a smaller Event Space.
  • A Mixed Audience.
  • The dress fits very well.
  • It’s in the middle of March – Weather could be cold or warm…

Here’s  plan: dievca will be trying on the dress with ACNE STUDIOS snakeskin sandals if its warm and carry the brown JALDA croc clutch (her’s is darker than the photo)

Acne Studios Bastion Viper Slingbacks

Jalda Brown Crocodile "original" clutch rounded
If its cold or dievca’s legs look scary without sun… Sheer Nude or Brown stockings with Brown Heels or OTK Brown Boots.



Opening Doors: a bit of an Art

ChivalryGettyRyanMcvay Photograph Ryan Mcvay-Getty

Photograph Ryan Mcvay-Getty

dievca has mentioned that she has a friend who has exquisite manners — he knows his Door Opening etiquette. His delivery is seemless and fluid. Master gives door opening a very good go, but He is not as elegant as dievca’s friend.  dievca was wondering what the difference was and went searching for information. Here’s what she found:

Suggested Game Plan of Opening the Door for a Woman

There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is to ignore it altogether. The other is to  try too hard which makes the offering awkward. The most important thing to remember is to keep your actions simple, be natural and use common sense. Be Aware.

Opening doors for women requires their cooperation. It takes two to tango~

If you get to the door before a woman, just open the door and hold it for her.
Things get awkward when she gets there before you. In these types of situations, opening doors becomes much like a dance. Each sex has a role they need to fill for the operation to work successfully. If the Lady arrives at the door before you or at the same time as you, she should step slightly to one side so that you can open the door without knocking her over.

If she starts opening the door for herself, just pull it further open.

If the Lady arrives at the door first and starts opening it, all one needs to do is to help pull the door open further. Don’t make a big deal about it.

With double doors, open the first door, but not the second.

When there is a door, and then an entryway, and then another door, open the outside door and allow the Woman to step inside the airlock. Then for the second door, do as indicated above, simply help the Woman open the door as she goes through. Note: she may wait inside the space for you to open the second door entirely.

beat-women-to-the-doorDon’t knock her over to get to the door first.

holding-the-doorsThe key to a successful door opening (and good manners in general) is to make it look effortless, if you try too hard to get ahead to open the door, it just looks silly – not suave.

If she doesn’t want the door opened for her, respect that.

Some women will tell you straight up that they don’t like doors opened for them. You have been advised, follow the advisement.

Don’t expect consistency.

A Lady might open several doors for herself in an evening, but then step aside and indicated that she wants you to open the door for her. Pay attention, read her body language. It’s like dancing.

If the door swings in, go through the door first and hold it for her.

Doors that open inwards can prove tricky, the best way to go about them is to go through the door before your date does to hold the door open for her. If she arrives at the door first and begins pushing the door open, stand on the side where the door hinges are and simply extend your arm over her head to take the door’s weight from her as she passes through.

Your duty is to your woman, not the public at large.

If you open the door for your Lady, you are not required to hold the door for everyone else. After your Woman has walked through the door, follow her through. As you pass through the door, look behind you to see if anybody is following close behind and hold the door open long enough for them to take control of the door.

With revolving doors, reach out and slow it down so that she can step in.

Or, traditionally, the Man is supposed to step in first to push the heavier door into rotation. Many Women do not know this, so be aware and follow her lead.

The real reason men hold the door for women.

Holding Doors Regardless of Gender

Holding doors open isn’t something that needs to be done just for Women. It’s an act of common courtesy that you can show to any person whether they be Man or Woman. If you get to the door first before a Guy, holding the door open for him is completely acceptable.

A Gentleman should always hold the door open for someone who is more physically burdened than him. If you see an older person, a person with an obvious physical aliment, or a person holding a crap load of packages, hold the door open for them no matter if they’re a man or a woman.

And if someone opens a door for you, always smile and say, “Thank you!”


A Special Thanks to the Art of Manliness blog for excellent information (click here)

How to Be a Lady. Hmmm…Sensuous through behavior? Absolutely.

Something that made dievca think…

dievca was looking up the word ladylike and ran into a “wikihow” article written for young adults and socialites.

Master’s submissive, dievca, never wants to embarrass her Master with poor manners, poor dress, or poor behavior.  So, she decided to review the article and make sure that her behavior is up to snuff.

Manners, attitudes, and styles of dress change over time, so has the conventional understanding of what it means to be a “lady.” The term may seem outdated, there are certain aspects of ladylike behavior that are undying: elegance, courteousness, and a sense of respect toward oneself and others. Read this article to learn how to be a true modern-day lady.

Part 1 of 3: Behaving Like a Lady

  1. Make introductions. If you are talking to one person and another person approaches, introduce the person you were initially talking to the person who has just arrived.
  2. Say please and thank you. While this may sound like an etiquette cliché, forgetting to say these things (even on accident) will not go unnoticed, and comes across as very rude
  3. Know when to say no. Being polite doesn’t mean being passive and letting others take advantage of you. It is important to learn how to politely tell people no.
  4. Educate yourself. A lady is eloquent and can carry a conversation. This requires being well-read and staying up-to-date on the current events of the world. While this doesn’t necessarily require formal education, attaining the highest possible level of education that you can will be to your benefit
  5. Have good posture. Standing and sitting up straight are signs of a true lady. As an added bonus, having good posture is better for your back, and will help strengthen up your core! It will take some training to get used to this, especially if you are accustomed to slouching.
  6. Be respectful toward others. Being a lady isn’t just about looking or behaving properly on the outside; it involves being a good person on the inside.
  7. Be charming. A true lady doesn’t just sit there quietly and let the world pass her by. She engages with other people, carries stimulating conversations, and is a subtle flirt.
  8. Don’t use profanity, overeat or drink excessively. Being a lady requires having self-control and will power, and each of these activities is an example of overindulgence.
  9. Be respectful when visiting others’ homes. When you are a guest in somebody else’s home, allow the host/hostess to tell you where to sit, where to leave your purse, whether or not to take off your shoes, and so on.
  10. Hold the door open for others. It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, offering to hold the door open for other people is respectful and friendly.
  11. Stay calm, cool, and collected. Avoiding lashing out at others if you are annoyed, angry, or upset. Remain poised, and handle the situation rationally and calmly. This will prevent you from doing or saying things in the heat of the moment that you will regret later.

Part 2 of 3: Dressing Like a Lady

  1. Maintain your personal hygiene. This will keep you looking and smelling your best, and more importantly, prevent infections and other illnesses. 

  2. Dress elegantly. This means dressing appropriately for the occasion, your body type, and your age. Use your best judgment to determine what clothes are most appropriate for you.
  3. Keep your clothing clean and pressed. Iron your clothes to remove any wrinkles, and be sure to wash your clothes if they are stained.
  4. Don’t wear excessive makeup or revealing clothing. Elegance requires minimalism; wear makeup to accentuate your beauty, not to cover it up.

Part 3 of 3: Proper Table Etiquette

  1. Don’t start eating before the meal has started. If you are at a restaurant, wait until everybody’s meal has arrived before you start to eat. When at a dinner party, wait for the host/hostess to unfold his or her napkin and begin eating.
  2. Don’t speak with food in your mouth. It is not only rude, it can actually ruin other peoples’ appetites.
  3. Excuse yourself when necessary. If you need to get up from the table to go to the restroom, then let others know where you are going.
  4. Don’t text or talk on the phone. Not only will it disturb other patrons if you are in a restaurant, it is disrespectful to the person/people you are eating with, especially if one of them has cooked the meal for you. Wait until the end of the meal to make phone calls.
  5. Leave your elbows off of the table. This rule applies only when you are actually eating. If the food has not yet arrived, or if you are sitting at a table drinking water or other beverages, then it is acceptable to rest your elbows on the table.
  6.  Cut your food into bite-sized portions. Not only is it healthier than taking huge bites, it will give you the opportunity to quickly chew and swallow your food if somebody asks you a question when you have food in your mouth. Nothing is more frustrating (and embarrassing) than having somebody ask you a question right after you have taken a huge bite of food!
  7.  Only grab for things on the table that are within your reach. Otherwise, ask somebody to please hand it to you..
  8.  Remember to use your napkin. Clean your fingers or blot your lips when necessary.
  9.  Make proper thanks. Be sure to thank the waiter/waitress if you are at a restaurant, and thank the host/hostess if you are at a dinner party. Compliment the food when dining with the person who has cooked it.

It never hurts to be reminded or re-educated on manners. dievca needs to work on the profanity usage portion – ugh!