The All Saints’ Day (November 1st) celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the traditional night of Samhain in the Celtic religion, began to be called All-Hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.
It is celebrated on the first Sunday of the Pentecost by Eastern Orthodox Churches. It is an official public holiday in Catholic countries. It is not an official public holiday in the US, the UK, Canada, and Australia. Other names for it are All Hallows’ Day, Feast of All Saints, Solemnity of All Saints, and Hallowmas.
All Souls’ Day (Novermber 2nd) is a Catholic day of remembrance dedicated to those who have recently died.
dievca is not going to make it to Texas for coffee on her friend’s grave.
All Saints’ is a reach for dievca, but she has a list for All Souls’ Day – her parents, college roommate, college good friend, workmates, family members, etc. Maybe dievca will head up to Saint John’s the Divine in Manhattan Valley (112th and Amsterdam) to visit a lovely lady interred there and stay a moment for others. Might be a good place to reflect on Life.
dievca is sending love and prayers for your Souls, too.
So, during COVID dievca got sucked down the YouTube Rabbit Hole watching Phil Wright Choreography videos of families performing after learning a dance piece together. The first video she saw was this and she absolutely loved the first group of a Mom and two daughters.
The beginning of another video has this Mother/Son duo and dievca thought the Mom was an amazing dancer – perhaps she was a professional Lindy Hop dancer:
Comparing the Jon Batiste Video (above) and the Rockin’ Robin – they are not the same dancer.
But, watching these videos, again, made dievca smile because she shared them with her Mom before she passed and they had a good time watching together. Mom keep saying she would have loved to get the lessons for the Great Grandkids and their Parents, but the Midwest is an awfully long way from Los Angeles…
Anyways, dievca’s Mom and Dad met at a Dance Hall – they were an amazing Jitterbug couple.
Here’s the Jitterbug:
Is jitterbug the same as Lindy Hop?
Lindy Hop, also known as the jitterbug, was developed in the 1920’s and is said to be the original form of swing dance. The term ‘jitterbug’ is however commonly used to describe any swing dancer and is derived from the visual display of the dancers on the floor who look like jitterbugs with the fast, bouncy movements.
Can you tell that dievca is getting desperate to dance again?
Today wasn’t planned this way – but this is what/when you:
Close Friend’s 20-Something has cancer and surgery within 24 hours.
When it’s your older brother who smoked cigars and Stage 2 – expected.
Young Adult, not expected.
Need a minute.
dievca is pondering her Life:
Seven and a half years later and she is still pondering her Life:
- Does she look for a new job?
- Does she get a 3rd graduate degree and change careers?
- Does she write a Children’s Book? (an inside joke on dievca)
- Does she move from NYC?
- Does she stay put?
- Will she get cancer? (Her brother is going through Chemo for a stage 2 form)
- Shouldn’t she be connecting with her cousins more?
Master stated that when you lose both of your Parents, you lose an anchor to your family – you are now “truly” an adult. dievca sees it as the two people who loved her just because she existed and were behind her in any situation good or bad are gone. The guaranteed love safety net is gone.
It’s taken 6 months for that to hit home….
Time to buy a new pair of shoes (note the survivalist theme and Midwestern moment):
Then dievca will sing this song:
dievca doesn’t know if it was the international travel, the surgery or this second round of travel.
she hit a wall.
The good news is that there is no pressing schedule and there is enough time to get things done with healing.
Taking it slow this morning.
BTW: The great grand RugRats loved the NYC bagels their Grand Aunt brought
Yep, with the knee still wrapped, dievca is heading west to what Master calls “Flyover Country”. she will be consolidating storage units (with good help), seeing family and friends, taking Mom and Dad’s ashes to Mass, etc.
The corn should be knee high by the 4th of July!
dievca might even get a chance to attend a Midwestern small town 4th of July Parade.
What are you up to for Independence Day? (USA located viewers 😘)
dievca’s Dad and Mom grew up poor, so when Dad started to make a bit of money he wanted to try all kinds of activities that he associated with people who had a bit more money – tennis, bridge, etc. Both of dievca’s parents ended up playing tennis for a long time, but only dievca’s Mom got into Bridge.
she was a demon at it
Bridge players play weekly or more. Depending on how many tables are going – each participant will host a Bridge Party monthly or bi-monthly. These hostings would include food or a meal. And in dievca’s Mom’s case – lunch could be a Waldorf Salad or Phyllo dough individual Chicken Pot Pies.
Coffee service was involved.
dievca’s Mom used a percolator and she always said the coffee was considered excellent. So, dievca was looking for the percolator when she closed up her Mom’s house and never found it. she thinks it might have been a General Electric version.
Does anyone have any experience with an electric percolator – vintage GE in particular?
dievca lost those 8 hours of work on Friday with travel debacles, she made them up by starting at 4:00 am and plowing through the house. Her brother, Sister-in-Law, Nephew and Niece-in-Law + the three older kids (10, 9, 7) were amazing. 3 bedrooms 2.5 baths, full basement, full attic, 3 stall garage – sorted, packed, Goodwilled, Seniors Elderly Center, Animal Shelter and the house staged with furniture wanted by the buyer and left with some accessories/decent linens.
Dinners were nice affairs – Pizza on late arrival with Red wine. Caregivers and everyone shared a lovely meal with Seafood/Italian to honor Mom and Dad amidst the house chaos + the chocolates Mom loved, Wild Rice Chicken and Mushroom Soup + fresh baked bread the next evening at dievca’s Nephew/Nieces’ house. After the dinners, back to work for dievca for an hour or so. Then, early to bed, early to rise.
At the Airport, dievca was handed a flute of champagne and started buzzing immediate due to exhaustion and lack of food. she went for a second glass and overheard the bartender say that the “premium” champagne was being served because the inexpensive one ran out. So, when her elbow knocked over 1/3 of the flute of champage, dievca ponder getting a third flute – but getting bombed before a flight was not on the agenda.
Caregivers are cleaning the house today, dievca’s brother will do a walk-thru with realtor on Weds – closing on Friday if all goes well.
dievca’s Brother was on a mission to get the house sold. she would not recommend this timeline to anyone, but it is possible with many hands working together. XO
Side note: Mom and Dad’s ashes were in the Laundry Room, side by side. Mom obviously weighed a lot less than Dad did at the end – we think it was the osteoperosis. The 1st night dievca needed water at 3 am and she ran into the laundry room to grab a bottle – the light over Mom and Dad was flickering. Then she found a $100 bill in a card that her Dad had written, “Happy Birthday” with no name on it. Used the money to pay for the babysitter watching the 3 younger kids (5, 3, 1.5) – Dad would have been happy.
You name it for travel problems – they happened yesterday.
Ice, Snow, flights canceled, reroutings failed, no rental car.
Noon arrival ended up at 8 pm.
Attempting to start over this morning…
dievca is flying back to the Midwest to clear out the house.
There is a buyer – they want the furniture.
Cross fingers it goes through. XO
dievca was looking out at the sunset when her brother called. Apparently 6 people saw Mom and Dad’s house today – the first day it was listed. Mom and Dad lived in a small town in a rural area surrounded by farms….so both dievca and her brother were surprised.
There are 7 more people on the schedule for tomorrow. Someone made a cash offer today and the realtor will ask for ‘Highest and Best’ offers by 5 pm tomorrow night to decide. dievca is not sure why the realtor isn’t asking for “Best and Final” offers because dievca’s brother wants the house sold as is and as soon as possible.
That means dievca will have to hustle back and get the furniture and things sorted. It would have been nice to do it in April – not the deep of February. (Shit, why not just pile one more item on a failing dievca…🙄)
Please note that the house is not the one dievca grew up in – just the one her parents built to die in.
Photo: dievca Hudson River NYC 01/2022
- What makes life worth living?
- What would make life definitely not worth living?
- What might at first seem too much to put up with, but then might seem manageable after getting familiar with the situation and learning to deal with it?
- If you knew life was coming to an end, what would be comforting and make dying feel safe?
What, in that situation, would you want to avoid?
- How much control is important for you to have when facing a terminal illness?
We may see that dying is the better of two choices, and be ready to give the loved one permission to die. The dying person may be distressed at causing grief for those who love them, and, receiving permission to die can relieve their distress. There is a time for this to happen. Before that, it feels wrong to accept a loss, but after that it can be an act of great kindness to say, “You may go when you feel it is time. I will be OK.”
At the time a person is near death, sometimes touch is the best communication. Gentle stroking of a hand or a cheek, and quietly reassuring the person that you love them and that you will be all right is perhaps the most compassionate way to ease your loved one on his journey. In a situation where you are not present at the time of death, forgive yourself and know that you did the best you could to make the final hours or weeks of life peaceful and meaningful.
According to Hospice and an EMT Family Member, Mom is holding on hard. dievca’s one brother is there, Grandchildren are there, a lovely Caregiver, the Great-Grandchild have gone over, dievca and her cousins have spoken and sang to Mom, dievca hopes her other brother has spoken to Mom, but she’s not sure….what are we missing?
dievca’s Dad checked in with everyone and then let go~ We cannot figure out what Mom is holding on for~ she moves her lips when something pleases her and the mention of a bath causes those lips to move. Mom floats with her Osteoperosis. Maybe the simple pleasure of a bath~
Just wish we could figure out what would help.
dievča is 1/2 дівчинка, but she never really thinks of herself as Ukrainian. she looks like her Dad’s Slovak side of the family (which is — well, maybe, not quite as beautiful as her Mother’s Ukrainian side…).
What prompted these musings?
dievca’s Mom took a turn for the worse and her cousins are coming out of the woodwork to tell her Mom that they love her. Singing Ukrainian songs, sending photos of her Mother to dievca. It is sad and lovely at the same time. The photos shared show that dievca doesn’t really look like her Mom other than the pointy chin which pokes Master’s chest, the color of her eyes (grey), and her voice.
If dievca can’t really look Ukrainian, maybe she could was seek a way to feel more Ukrainian – so she started looking for a vyshyvanka:
Then she remembered that she has this Ulla Johnson blouse – one is enough:
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door
You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tailwind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat
If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule, be the exception
A good way to start is to stand
If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn (Oh you do!)
You mean that it’s just my election (Just that!)
To vote for a chance to be reborn
dievca shops year round for her Holiday gifts. That said, she also keeps an eye out for items that might be of interest to people of the Masculine persuation ~ or those who like practical and streamlined items. she has the following suggestions for the Holiday 2021 season (UO = Urban Outiftters, top items until the Yellow Submarine Towel – the second set of items are from Huckberry – a great Masculine driver space, Google Image search a photo and it should take you to the item webpage, last two items from Theragun):
It was a quick trip to Mom, 4 days. Packed a lot into the time. POA shift, moved Mom on to hospice, need a new hospital bed – motor died (made do with a log and seat cushion to change the angles for Mom), attempted to get quality WiFi (need a new router), attempted to get the gardens/yard into some semblance of order (including picking up 15 cigarette butts on the driveway from a caregiver – what is wrong with people. Are they born in a barn? We have a cigarette repository out there.), maintenance man/snow removal man is no longer working – looking for help (Note his kid moved away and they no longer need to store his classic car in the garage…hmmm? Maybe that had something to do with being unavailable…), cleaned the odd places in the house and the upstairs as best as possible.
Grocery shopped at night and saw ⇑⇑⇑ the MOON!
It’s Full this Evening. Don’t forget to shake your wallet at the Moon!
And think of dievca flying home late tonight. XO
You take what you can find at dievca’s Mom’s House.
Last night dievca found this:
Who on God’s Earth brought this over?
And this afternoon she found this:
A staple at a Chicago Cubs Game~
Both offerings are rough around the edges – but in a pinch, they’ll do~
dievca’s running to the Grocery store late tonight – the next visit won’t be as desperate.
PS. Her Mom is doing relatively well.
Why is it always easier to get things done to Classic Rock? At least for dievca~
Maybe its because every Saturday growing up – her family’s home had to be cleaned from top to bottom. It was the 1970’s, dievca’s brothers played Rock Music doing chores. dievca is like Pavlov’s Dog – you put the Classic Rock on and she cranks out the work…
Here’s the last song:
Absolutely not complaining – dievca is grateful.
Just a little behind…ok, a lot behind.
What was added:
- Back to work the afternoon of the “Red Eye” flight, thought there would be three days grace.
- Caught up with Master – always an important Joy
- Sold three eBay items while traveling, needed to ship immediately and the printer is out of ink
- Sold four more items last night, again, no ink.
- Co-workers begging to cram in meetings before Labor Day.
- Most important, trying to get to Mom
How is your weekend shaping up?
And she is a sleeping more. Is it depression or time to go?
Its the first time dievca’s Mom wanted to sleep rather than speak with her.
When you are the youngest of the two youngest and everyone (Dad/Aunts/Uncles) have passed. Your last tie to an Era will soon be cut. You can only hope that your oldest cousins can answer your questions about Family.
she knows she shouldn’t borrow trouble, but dievca’s heart is hurting.
Her Mom’s Life isn’t really a Life – so it will be good when Mom catches up with dievca’s Dad. She misses him
dievca just keeps sending Love from her mind and her heart.
dievca was reading an article about when family members die, its hard to get rid of their “stuff” because of your memories attached to their items or the memories of the person who used the item. Whew – that was a mouthful. For example, dievca has her Dad’s Levi’s looped Terry Cloth Shirt from the 1970’s. With a boat neck and 3/4 sleeves in white with blue stripes it looks like a marinière-style shirt. She remembers him wearing it to the Tennis Courts or the Pool. It’s still wearable and looped terry cloth clothing is “in”.
And then there is other stuff that you keep because you think you will use it. And – shocker! – you do use it. Like a vintage Ice Cream scoop (1937) from you Aunt and her two 10″ Aires Box Fans (circa 2004 – received, new in box).
Mind you, those box fans have now been used and knocked over a number of times and because they are plastic/slighty flexible – they keep bouncing back for more. Something of Use!
All three items keep you cool in the Summer, all three items are practical and all three offer memories.
Three items that dievca doesn’t feel guilty for keeping.
Research shows we are actually genetically predisposed to be either a morning or an evening person. According to chronobiology (the study of time in living things), cells in everything from plants to people work on their own internal ‘clock’.
So, when you had a Father who woke up at 4 am every morning for years after driving the boys to hockey practice and a Mother who stayed up reading or doing chores until 1 am and would still prefer that schedule, where does a dievca fall on that genetic predisposition? Note: One brother is up at 4 am, the other is up until 2 am…
This question is lurking in dievca’s mind as she tries to get better quality sleep during her perimenopause phase…
Well~ work dictates and this Summer is asking for 6 am starts~
dievca will follow her Dad’s guidance and be an Early Bird – at least until she catches her second wind at 10 pm one night throw the best laid plans into Night Owl mode.
Photo: dievca NYC 05/30/2021
And now you know dievca’s BIG question this morning….
What crap weather for the start of Summer.
Practical is kicking in:
On the other side of the family (Ukrainian), dievca is one of 22 cousins and the youngest by 10 years. she wasn’t born in the same state as the other cousins and didn’t grow up with them. A Cousin just died – possibly from COVID-19, her sibling is being cagy with information. It all came out because another cousin didn’t hear from her on their regular 3rd day phone call – so another cousin called the sibling and then called dievca’s brother. dievca’s brother is asking dievca to hunt down the 3rd sibling, who is gay, to find out more information or let them know about the death…
Are you lost?
It took dievca 5 years of asking her Mother who everyone was, trying to figure out who her cousins belonged to, what they did and their ages – a couple she has only met once.
She’s got it now.
And like every family — let’s sic the youngest on the problem.
She’s the baby and no one will get angry with her because she can play “clueless”. Plus, she was cute.
Watching the family dynamics in action is amazing.
BTW, dievca did hunt down the phone # for the gay sibling and will be calling today. That cousin likes her.
The Holland Tunnel just about put me over the edge.
Wine glass, now in hand.
Getty Image: 1935 Traffic at the Holland Tunnel
dievca doesn’t know if she cleans the house for her Mother, the Caregivers or herself….but she kills herself to get the inside and outside done as much as possible in five days. Yes, her body pays for it afterward. No, she won’t hire someone to do it.
she is feeling like Lucy, right about now.
26 Oct 1952 — “Sales Resistance” is the name of this I Love Lucy episode, in which Ricky insists that Lucy get rid of a vacuum she bought from a door-to-door salesman. After a hectic day of trying to sell it to someone else, Lucille is worn out. — Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS
dievca’s Dad had a Tree Service look at the dead trees on their property. The bad news was to cut and remove the trees would have cost $6K. The good news is that all of the trees would not fall on the house. Dad did not hire the service before he died.
The Midwest had some big winds this winter and a large tree broke in half and came down close to the house – but missed it (photos). Just like the tree service said. What dievca did not expect is that another tree out on the property, leaning away from the neighbors yard, yet, was pushed onto their yard by a significant wind. Nowhere near their house, but it did fall on to their yard.
The neighbor walked over and told the caregiver that it happened and mentioned that they had a service in to clear the tree. The caregiver asked her to speak to dievca’s brother. When dievca got to her Mom’s she heard the tree service at the neighbors, saw the other dead tree from the winter and heard about the neighbor’s vist from the caregiver.
Yes, it was expected that the dead trees would fall at some point (firewood), it was unexpected one would fall on the neighbors lawn -so who pays?
What’s the rule?
- If the tree falls on your property or your property is damaged, you’ll make a claim through your home insurance company. If the tree falls on your neighbor’s property or their property is damaged, their home insurance will handle the cleanup and repair work.
- In most states, if your tree or any part of it falls on your neighbors‘ property and causes damage to their property through no fault of your own (due to a snow storm, winds, hurricane, or another so-called “act of God”), you are not responsible.
The good news is that dievca’s Mom only has one neighbor and there was the only dead tree on that track of land. As for the rest of the trees? Nature is just going to have to move forward unless dievca’s brother decides to hire someone.