Remind dievca that she loves her parents dearly, ok?
she had to lay down the law with her Dad that she’s not in town just to jump and do his bidding. she’s going to sit down and have dinner like a normal human being. If there is a wet ring on the table from condensation on a glass? Well, that will just have to wait until she’s finished eating and chatting with her Mother.
dievca offered her Dad two options:
- Wait patiently until everyone is finished eating and have faith it will be cleaned up.
- Get up with the walker, go and get a towel and wipe the ring.
I understand with age you feel like you lose control and your memory is short…
But, a water ring on a melamine table is not an emergency, nor is buying extra pads for Mom, nor is folding the towels from a load that just finished in the dryer, nor is adjusting the peepee pad so it hangs off the side of the bed, nor is putting your applesauce container in the fridge when we haven’t finished eating, nor is putting Mom to bed just because you want to go to bed.
I only have two hands for removing dishes from the dining table. Some of the dishes will have to stay on the table until I can walk back and get them.
If I haven’t left the house in a car, then I haven’t picked up Mom’s pee pads.
Yes, I got the mail and the newspapers. You’ve asked me four times already. Why don’t you sit on the sofa and read them, so you don’t have to ask me again?
I am really trying to remember that I am going to be the same way in about 40 years.
Let us hope I’ll be the easy-going elderly person holding a glass of wine. ~doubt it~
When someone in the Family just gets it…
dievca was grateful, really grateful~
And that watermelon? That is the way everyone is getting dievca’s Dad to have enough water intake since he insisted upon removing his feeding tube.
Well, he’s not dead, yet!
Umm, Dad might not make it to 88 if he keeps following dievca around the house telling her how to do things…
Yesterday, dievca’s friend had a Memorial and Service to inter her ashes.
It was lovely. Friends of all ages and different phases came to celebrate. Siblings gave the realistic view of their sister with humor. dievca wore bright colors and listened with a smile. Her friend had set aside money for a buffet meal at a cafe across the street with an open bar. Great venue, good wine.
She was loved, is loved and will be remembered with love.
Why? What’s the difference between dievca’s aunt and dievca’s friend?
Her friend was open to new ideas, willing to try new things and try-on new viewpoints. She was able to accept change. She accepted people for who they are, not who she wanted them to be. She didn’t pass judgment. She stood up for what she felt was right and that would include the thought that all people should be treated fairly and equally. She gave in simple ways – nothing grandiose – an ear to listen, advice if asked, expertise if needed and company with silence, her time. Things that people truly need or want.
What dievca has learned:
Be yourself. Work to keep old friends and work to gain new friends. Enjoy life and share your Joy and knowledge. Mentor. Accept idiosyncracies and people/situations that make you step out and grow. Don’t stop moving. Life is to be experienced. not watched.
in the Family Karma bank.
The blackout last night came to roost on dievca’s doorstep.
dievca had power – Master had just left and had power up at His apartment. But, family members of the friend who passed, flew in and were scheduled to stay in a UWS hotel for the Memorial Service. No power.
No power = no AC, no lights, no food with one person in a wheelchair. dievca called to check on them, they were in a cab and needed a place to go. So, dievca gave up her apartment to the Family and rode her bike up to Masters for the night.
That worked out fine.
The challenge was that she returned at 9 am and they weren’t out of bed. Then she made them breakfast with the random food she had. And then they stayed at dievca’s until 2:00 pm.
Her treat of having two days off in a row – washed away.
Speaking of wash, dievca needs to do the sheets and towels they used.
That’s Karma in the Karma bank, right?
Life is about Ups and Downs.
You need the rain to appreciate the sunshine – etc., etc., etc.
It’s been a weird year for me:
- College Best Friend passed away
- College Roommate passed away.
- Close friend passed away (85), last night
- Parents getting stronger with help.
- My body is apparently quite healthy.
It was interesting finding the 85-year-old friend, last evening. She passed away on her bed – having a lie-down. She looked very Zen.
She was having some unidentified health challenges.
FDNY, NYPD, a Detective, the ME, the morgue all trooped through the small apartment. All polite, kind and working to the best of their abilities. NYPD had to seal the apartment because there wasn’t a spouse or roommate. The apartment will be opened up after the courts allow it…..paperwork.
Here I thought it would be my Parents to move on — with all their challenges. Instead, it was a lovely elderly friend who lived her Life on her own terms.
I’m sad, yet happy she moved on in a peaceful way.
The rain with the sun shining through.
Dad has been swallowing food.
But can he handle liquids without them going down the wrong pipe?
It’s interesting to watch.
The difference between having a feeding tube or not.
Isn’t the Human Body amazing?
1st – there was no caffeinated coffee in the house.
6:30 am coffee run and grocery store K-cup caffeinated coffee purchase.
2nd – the K-cup machine does 8 oz. as the largest amount.
8 oz. doesn’t fit in Mom’s “normal” cups, 8 oz. does fit in the “Nana” cup.
Mmmm, I am not a Nana and will not ever have the chance to biologically be a Nana …
I am a Grand Aunt, though. One who likes to play WrestleMania, steamroller, drop the clothespins into a milk jug and other hands-on games. Talk about high energy and rejuvenation! Kids share so much Joy.
And if the kids call me, “Nana” instead of “Aunt dievca” – excellent! My Mom is a fabulous Nana and if I slide into her shoes seamlessly, all the better.
You can call me “Nana” when I’ve got the coffee cup in hand.
But my grandnephews and grandnieces can call me “Nana” anytime!