It was a quick trip to Mom, 4 days. Packed a lot into the time. POA shift, moved Mom on to hospice, need a new hospital bed – motor died (made do with a log and seat cushion to change the angles for Mom), attempted to get quality WiFi (need a new router), attempted to get the gardens/yard into some semblance of order (including picking up 15 cigarette butts on the driveway from a caregiver – what is wrong with people. Are they born in a barn? We have a cigarette repository out there.), maintenance man/snow removal man is no longer working – looking for help (Note his kid moved away and they no longer need to store his classic car in the garage…hmmm? Maybe that had something to do with being unavailable…), cleaned the odd places in the house and the upstairs as best as possible.
Grocery shopped at night and saw ⇑⇑⇑ the MOON!
It’s Full this Evening. Don’t forget to shake your wallet at the Moon!
And think of dievca flying home late tonight. XO
You take what you can find at dievca’s Mom’s House.
Last night dievca found this:
Who on God’s Earth brought this over?
And this afternoon she found this:
A staple at a Chicago Cubs Game~
Both offerings are rough around the edges – but in a pinch, they’ll do~
dievca’s running to the Grocery store late tonight – the next visit won’t be as desperate.
PS. Her Mom is doing relatively well.
Why is it always easier to get things done to Classic Rock? At least for dievca~
Maybe its because every Saturday growing up – her family’s home had to be cleaned from top to bottom. It was the 1970’s, dievca’s brothers played Rock Music doing chores. dievca is like Pavlov’s Dog – you put the Classic Rock on and she cranks out the work…
Here’s the last song:
Absolutely not complaining – dievca is grateful.
Just a little behind…ok, a lot behind.
What was added:
- Back to work the afternoon of the “Red Eye” flight, thought there would be three days grace.
- Caught up with Master – always an important Joy
- Sold three eBay items while traveling, needed to ship immediately and the printer is out of ink
- Sold four more items last night, again, no ink.
- Co-workers begging to cram in meetings before Labor Day.
- Most important, trying to get to Mom
How is your weekend shaping up?
And she is a sleeping more. Is it depression or time to go?
Its the first time dievca’s Mom wanted to sleep rather than speak with her.
When you are the youngest of the two youngest and everyone (Dad/Aunts/Uncles) have passed. Your last tie to an Era will soon be cut. You can only hope that your oldest cousins can answer your questions about Family.
she knows she shouldn’t borrow trouble, but dievca’s heart is hurting.
Her Mom’s Life isn’t really a Life – so it will be good when Mom catches up with dievca’s Dad. She misses him
dievca just keeps sending Love from her mind and her heart.
dievca was reading an article about when family members die, its hard to get rid of their “stuff” because of your memories attached to their items or the memories of the person who used the item. Whew – that was a mouthful. For example, dievca has her Dad’s Levi’s looped Terry Cloth Shirt from the 1970’s. With a boat neck and 3/4 sleeves in white with blue stripes it looks like a marinière-style shirt. She remembers him wearing it to the Tennis Courts or the Pool. It’s still wearable and looped terry cloth clothing is “in”.
And then there is other stuff that you keep because you think you will use it. And – shocker! – you do use it. Like a vintage Ice Cream scoop (1937) from you Aunt and her two 10″ Aires Box Fans (circa 2004 – received, new in box).
Mind you, those box fans have now been used and knocked over a number of times and because they are plastic/slighty flexible – they keep bouncing back for more. Something of Use!
All three items keep you cool in the Summer, all three items are practical and all three offer memories.
Three items that dievca doesn’t feel guilty for keeping.
Research shows we are actually genetically predisposed to be either a morning or an evening person. According to chronobiology (the study of time in living things), cells in everything from plants to people work on their own internal ‘clock’.
So, when you had a Father who woke up at 4 am every morning for years after driving the boys to hockey practice and a Mother who stayed up reading or doing chores until 1 am and would still prefer that schedule, where does a dievca fall on that genetic predisposition? Note: One brother is up at 4 am, the other is up until 2 am…
This question is lurking in dievca’s mind as she tries to get better quality sleep during her perimenopause phase…
Well~ work dictates and this Summer is asking for 6 am starts~
dievca will follow her Dad’s guidance and be an Early Bird – at least until she catches her second wind at 10 pm one night throw the best laid plans into Night Owl mode.
Photo: dievca NYC 05/30/2021
And now you know dievca’s BIG question this morning….
What crap weather for the start of Summer.
Practical is kicking in:
On the other side of the family (Ukrainian), dievca is one of 22 cousins and the youngest by 10 years. she wasn’t born in the same state as the other cousins and didn’t grow up with them. A Cousin just died – possibly from COVID-19, her sibling is being cagy with information. It all came out because another cousin didn’t hear from her on their regular 3rd day phone call – so another cousin called the sibling and then called dievca’s brother. dievca’s brother is asking dievca to hunt down the 3rd sibling, who is gay, to find out more information or let them know about the death…
Are you lost?
It took dievca 5 years of asking her Mother who everyone was, trying to figure out who her cousins belonged to, what they did and their ages – a couple she has only met once.
She’s got it now.
And like every family — let’s sic the youngest on the problem.
She’s the baby and no one will get angry with her because she can play “clueless”. Plus, she was cute.
Watching the family dynamics in action is amazing.
BTW, dievca did hunt down the phone # for the gay sibling and will be calling today. That cousin likes her.
The Holland Tunnel just about put me over the edge.
Wine glass, now in hand.
Getty Image: 1935 Traffic at the Holland Tunnel
dievca doesn’t know if she cleans the house for her Mother, the Caregivers or herself….but she kills herself to get the inside and outside done as much as possible in five days. Yes, her body pays for it afterward. No, she won’t hire someone to do it.
she is feeling like Lucy, right about now.
26 Oct 1952 — “Sales Resistance” is the name of this I Love Lucy episode, in which Ricky insists that Lucy get rid of a vacuum she bought from a door-to-door salesman. After a hectic day of trying to sell it to someone else, Lucille is worn out. — Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS
dievca’s Dad had a Tree Service look at the dead trees on their property. The bad news was to cut and remove the trees would have cost $6K. The good news is that all of the trees would not fall on the house. Dad did not hire the service before he died.
The Midwest had some big winds this winter and a large tree broke in half and came down close to the house – but missed it (photos). Just like the tree service said. What dievca did not expect is that another tree out on the property, leaning away from the neighbors yard, yet, was pushed onto their yard by a significant wind. Nowhere near their house, but it did fall on to their yard.
The neighbor walked over and told the caregiver that it happened and mentioned that they had a service in to clear the tree. The caregiver asked her to speak to dievca’s brother. When dievca got to her Mom’s she heard the tree service at the neighbors, saw the other dead tree from the winter and heard about the neighbor’s vist from the caregiver.
Yes, it was expected that the dead trees would fall at some point (firewood), it was unexpected one would fall on the neighbors lawn -so who pays?
What’s the rule?
- If the tree falls on your property or your property is damaged, you’ll make a claim through your home insurance company. If the tree falls on your neighbor’s property or their property is damaged, their home insurance will handle the cleanup and repair work.
- In most states, if your tree or any part of it falls on your neighbors‘ property and causes damage to their property through no fault of your own (due to a snow storm, winds, hurricane, or another so-called “act of God”), you are not responsible.
The good news is that dievca’s Mom only has one neighbor and there was the only dead tree on that track of land. As for the rest of the trees? Nature is just going to have to move forward unless dievca’s brother decides to hire someone.
Do you think they will look at me strange when I take all of the coffee at the motel?
The matchy-matchy look flourishes in “time periods when there is more cultural emphasis on the family and the mother-daughter relationship,” said the fashion historian Jennifer Farley Gordon, who researches children’s clothing. In practice, the matching style can also signal affluence: a mother with leisure time to sew—or money to shop for—mirror-image outfits, and who is more likely to be a stay-at-home mom. Part of the idea, also, is that there’s not much point in being one half of a matching set if you’re not spending significant amounts of time together in public.
Life nailed the appeal of mother-daughter dressing when it declared: “‘Look Alike’ means ‘Look Young.’” The mommy-and-me looks of the 1940s and ’50s were decidedly girlish, emphasizing the mother’s youthfulness rather than the daughter’s maturity. In her memoir Mommie Dearest, Christina Crawford remembered posing for publicity photos with her adoptive mother, Joan, in the late 1940s, at the age of 8. “I had to get dressed in one of the many ‘mother-and-daughter’ outfits we were always photographed in … Mother and I would go through the whole day doing things for the camera and changing from one matching outfit to another.” Often, these outfits consisted of ruffled pinafores or skirts with suspenders worn over frilly blouses with puffed sleeves, with matching ribbons in their hair—clothes more appropriate for an 8-year-old than a grown woman. Tellingly, if a woman had more than one daughter, she was advised to twin with the youngest, according to Life.
Ladies’ Home Journal—one of the leading women’s magazines in America—had strong ideas about how the country could spend its wealth. From 1939 into the early 1950s, the magazine published a series of covers illustrated by Al Parker, a contemporary of Norman Rockwell, depicting mothers and daughters in matching outfits engaging in household chores and leisure activities such as baking cookies, riding bicycles, raking leaves, knitting, skiing, and wrapping Christmas gifts. One memorable image portrayed a rosy-cheeked mother and daughter pair, ice skating hand-in-hand above the headline: “Is Society Committing Suicide Today?”
These days, however, the mommy-and-me looks are usually store-bought. The likes of Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, and Lanvin getting into the luxury children’s wear market and they come with decidedly grown-up price tags. There are plenty of budget-friendly version, like Target’s collaboration with Victoria Beckham, or Drew Barrymore’s line for Crocs.
Though a few halfhearted attempts to launch father-son fashions in the 1950s never really took off, family fashions have surged in recent years as many dads have become more hands-on. Often focused on holiday dressing, vacation clothes, or sleepwear, these collections—which are diversified enough to accommodate a broad range of ages and genders—offer a less literal interpretation of twinning, one intended for special occasions. Which is to say that “daddy, mommy, all my siblings, and me” might be the new mommy-and-me.
What brought this delve into Mommy and Me Fashion? dievca had a flashback of 1976-1977 where her Mom and her had matching outfits and hair which consisted of a rust-colored Corduroy Oshkosh B’gosh Overalls Dress, off-white turtleneck, rust cable knit tights, brown leather Bass platform wedge shoes with rubber sole and Toni Tennille hair:
It was the first time and the last time dievca and her Mom matched. They shared a lot of clothing throughout the years (still do), but the matching thing? One great go – then that was it.
HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY!
A Thank You to KIMBERLY CHRISMAN-CAMPBELL is a fashion historian based in Los Angeles and the author of the forthcoming book Worn on This Day: The Clothes That Made History. Most of the information was gleaned from and article she did for The Atlantic Magazine in 2018.
“Voistyno Voskres!” (Воістину Воскресе!)
Whoops – wrong type of Bunny…
Happy Easter, anyways!
dievca’s Dad had a High School kid who would help him around the house, that kid has since graduated from college. But, he would still visit her Dad and help when he could before Dad died. dievca looked in the garage and saw a rebuilt Corvette being stored in one stall. It’s the kid’s and he must have asked dievca’s brother to store it. No problem.
So, what is dievca’s Mom getting in return?
Driveway snow clearing services — but notably this morning at 6:00 am it is not the kid clearing the drive, it’s his Dad….
Photos: dievca Midwest 12/2020
Actually, it’s not desperate.
dievca’s Mom had a bath at Noon (it takes two people) and that wiped her out until dievca woke her at 4:55 pm. Why 4:55 pm? Because her Mom insisted that Jane Eyre would be on TV at 5:00 pm… Yes, it was on – because dievca downloaded it onto the tablet from Amazon Prime.
(dievca’s brother canceled cable TV)
dievca fed her Mom dinner and watched the 2011 version with her – good acting, but it is a sad movie.
Big Band Music to pick up the mood while getting Mom ready for bed and now dievca is seeking wine.
There is no wine to be had ~ hence the appropriate t-shirt graphic.
(Wine is on the grocery list for tomorrow.) 😉
As dievca is making her way through Western PA via I 80, Coffee and John Denver are making the drive a bit easier. Too bad her acapella version doesn’t sound like this:
By the way, did you know that Pittsburgh was almost a part of West Virginia?
In the years before the American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), the jurisdiction of the region west of the Allegheny Mountains around Pittsburgh and along the Ohio River had been disputed between the British colonies of Virginia and Pennsylvania. The Mason-Dixon line, which officially established the border between Pennsylvania and Maryland, would have also settled the Virginia-Pennsylvania boundary dispute, but the surveying of the final miles of the Mason-Dixon line was abandoned in 1767 and would not be completed until 1784. In the early 1770s, it was therefore unclear whether Pittsburgh and its environs were in Pennsylvania or Virginia. Both colonies proceeded as if they had a better claim to the area. Virginia administered the region as the District of West Augusta, while in Pennsylvania it was considered a part of Westmoreland County.
Complicating this border dispute were the vast land claims of the Ohio Company of Virginia and the Indiana Land Company along the Ohio River. The two companies combined forces in 1769 to create the Grand Ohio Company with the intention of creating a colony known as Vandalia, which would have had similar borders to Westsylvania had it been recognized. The outbreak of the American Revolutionary War effectively brought an end to the efforts to establish Vandalia.
Hitting the Highway and Thinking of You!
dievca’s Mom kept getting anonymous postcards from around the country when she was a young gal. The tagline on each of them was the phrase above. She never found out who sent them.
So, dievca is hitting the highway and making her way to her Momma. Her Mom might not last too long, so now is the time. she’s bringing that black Burberry Cashmere coat she bought when the Hudson Yards Neiman Marcus closed (September) – her Mom was asking to see it.
Once a Style Maven – always a Style Maven.
dievca has so many clothes she would love to share with her Mom – her Mom isn’t tracking too well. That’s why the Burberry coat request, as ridiculous as it seems, is very important.
OK, hitting the highway and thinking of you. XO
dievca’s having a moment, time to flashback with the band New Order – Shellshock
Moving into this:
And down the Youtube Rabbit Hole.
Not going to help with losing days.
dievca’s Mom had a lovely little Tahitian pearl ring for years that she wore on her pinky. She had gotten it from dievca’s Dad when they went on a trip to Hawaii and left the kids with their Slovak Grandparents. Umm, it was a moment when Grandma made cow’s brains and tried to pass them off as scrambled eggs….dievca was 5 years old and still remembers ~
dievca’s Mom lost the lovely green pearl ring.
So, dievca has randomly looked for a replacement on and off throughout the years.
Her latest search started here:
Round! the shape of the pearl should be round.
That knocked this beauty out of contention.
And this one has an asymmetrical setting – nope.
The color of the pearl Mom lost was black-green:
On this one the setting is too high, the pearl is too grey:
dievca was concerned with the quality of the pearl, but not too worried about it.
The green of this pearl is nice and the 14K white gold pops, but that setting is very intricate.
dievca loved this ring, but it was very expensive- from Denmark and not a good replacement for the lost ring.
Again, an interesting setting – but rose gold? Limiting.
So, as dievca was looking at various rings on eBay, the RealReal, Jewelers, etc – she realized that it is hard to find a smaller Tahitian pearl. They run more consistently in the 11 and 12 mm range. dievca was aiming for 8 or 9 mm.
So, the criteria loosely became:
- Round Pearl
- Green color
- Lower profile setting
- Silver-colored band
- Symmetrical band
There are a number of this David Yurman ring out there on the web, but the pearls run from grey to blue and settings are holding a larger pearl. dievca found hers on eBay with an 8mm dark green pearl – it came from a southern Jewelry store.
Not quite Mom’s ring, but Master loves it.
Pearls are organic gemstones that are vulnerable to acid, alkaline and extremes of humidity. To preserve your pearls’ radiance, avoid letting them come into contact with cosmetics, hair spray, or perfume. Always put on your jewelry as a final touch, after applying make-up and styling hair.
The pearl’s lustre can also be harmed by perspiration. To prevent this, before returning your pearls to the jewelry box, wipe them gently with a soft cloth.
Give me the damn coffee!
~You get by with a little help from your friend~
Actually, the rental car is new and running very well.
Travel across was very easy.
Packing food was a good idea and I’d like to give a “shout” out to Ohio for the best rest stops.
Clean, spacious — amazing.
BTW – gasoline prices ranged from $1.99 to $1.15 per gallon – east to west.
Something interesting to note – the further away from NYC, the more lax people are about COVID-19.
Yes, it makes sense when your area has 180 deaths versus the 13,168 in NYC.
But seeing 65+-year-olds without masks and gloves in a Wal-Mart really stressed me out.
BTW – it was confirmed post-mortem that Dad’s death was not COVID-19.
Why do the test?
So, the Hospice nurses who neglected Dad would come back for Mom’s appointments.
still salty bout that
As for my Mom?
My Mom has blown through the stages of Grief and is getting ready to blow through them, again.
She is eating and sleeping well, for me at least.
Yesterday would have been Mom and Dad’s 66th Wedding Anniversary.
OK – as you read this, I am back in the car – starting Day 2 of the return trip.
POEM of the ROAD – Walt Whitman (excerpt)
To take to your use out of the compact cities as
you pass through!
To carry buildings and streets with you afterward
wherever you go!
To gather the minds of men out of their brains as
you encounter them! to gather the love out
of their hearts!
To take your own lovers on the road with
you, for all that you leave them behind
To know the universe itself as a road—as many
roads—as roads for traveling souls!
The soul travels,
The body does not travel as much as the soul,
The body has just as great a work as the soul,
and parts away at last for the journeys of the
All parts away for the progress of souls,
All religion, all solid things, arts, governments —
all that was or is apparent upon this globe or
any globe, falls into niches and corners before
the processions of souls along the grand roads
of the universe,
Of the progress of the souls of men and women
along the grand roads of the universe, all
other progress is the needed emblem and
Full poem HERE
dievca found a rental car and is making her way to her Mom. If there’s no hotel – sleeping in the car will do. Food is packed for along the way. Always an interesting first 30 miles when she hasn’t driven in a while – but it will be dievca and the trucks most of the way. Wish her “good luck”! XO
My Dad died.
I could hear the death rattle while video chatting with my Mother – trying to think of every humorous or lovely moment with Dad and other family members to distract her. Dad was gasping for air. 99% sure it wasn’t COVID-19, the Speech Therapist said that as Dad lost swallowing capabilities – food/water would go down the wrong pipe, and pneumonia would set in. It did. Hospice wouldn’t come unless Dad was tested…Dad wasn’t going anywhere to get tested.
It didn’t end ugly.
I can Thank our amazing careworkers, morphine, my brother, and the great-grandkids for that. I wouldn’t have called the kids in time to say, ‘good-bye’ – they are all under 7 years old – Dad was such a mess I thought it would terrify their dreams. My brother called and they all trooped over (6+ of them) to see Dad with little masks and gloves.
He passed out Tootsie Pops.
Turned over and died in the chaos with Mom on his shoulder and holding hands with the chain of kids.
That thought sustains me more than the painful video call earlier. Dad would do anything for a kid. Kill himself for a kid. Works for me. Thank Goodness my brother called in the troops. A better way to go.
So, will the kids have bad dreams? I don’t know.
I just know that as I look at my hands which are the same shape as my Dad’s,
I am really craving a red Tootsie Pop.
A pretty sight, right? The pink flowers match the lingerie from yesterday. dievca didn’t get a photo of the flowers before the post. Here’s the order of activities:
- A two-CD mix made for dievca’s Mother took a full day to source and collect songs, then find a burner for the CD’s. Her Dad is failing badly, so she asked the Caregivers to play the music from “Carmen Jones” and “Das Boot” via YouTube on the tablet for expedience. The CD’s are for the stereo – both of dievca’s parents are going deaf.
- The next day after work, dievca took a 1.5-hour walk around the City – to get out of the apartment. The wind was brutal-you can see the birds fighting the chop on the Hudson River. she found one place to walk up to buy coffee – it was a treat tasting a different flavor than her coffee.
- The 3rd day, dievca biked up the Hudson River Park trail in the rain to get to Master. Master’s windows offered an elegant view of two Magnolia trees in bloom.
And she shared dinner and wine with Master after a little D/s play.
If dievca’s Dad dies – she won’t be able to get to her mother for the funeral. There is a two-week quarantine for New Yorkers heading out of State via air travel. dievca hasn’t been sick, but she would prefer to be careful. Understandably, as dievca’s Mom wouldn’t make it through a bout of COVID-19 under Hospice care.
Photos: dievca 04/2020 NYC - graphic from a good friend.
“Come to Me all youth that labor and are burdened.
I will give you rest.”
dievca slid out of bed knowing she finally had to return a pair of pants to Target. They were a pair she bought for her Dad in the Midwest, were too large and she didn’t have time to get back to the store. The pants have been sitting on her entry bench….
So, at 7:15 am, dievca got dressed and grabbed the pants.
In one hour and a half, she:
- Took out $ at an ATM
- Bought a coffee and a donut at a busy Dunkin Donuts
- Walked to Target in the 34th Street morning hustle.
- Returned the pants
- Wandered through Old Navy and tried a sundress on
- Wandered through the closing K-Mart and bought socks, gloves, a tote bag, and two t-shirts.
- Stopped in CVS to buy Draino with a 40% off coupon
- Sat in the sunshine for a moment in seating out front of a new building
- Took photos of St. Michael’s Church (above)
- Bought a tuna sandwich from a place that makes great tuna salad
- Walked home.
Something avoided became an enjoyable NYC efficiency moment.
About Saint Michael’s:
The parish was founded in 1857 as an offshoot of the Church of St. Columba and Holy Cross Church, with boundaries from “28th to 38th Street and from 6th Avenue to the banks of the Hudson.” The community initially met in a chapel structure of renovated townhouses. The original church plan was begun in 1861 and completed in 1868, with a front on 31st Street, between 9th and 10th Avenues. The church was built in phases surrounding the chapel and without disturbing services there. When finally completed according to the original plans, it was 80 feet (24 m) wide by 200 feet (61 m) long and had a stone facade and 105-foot (32 m) high tower on 31st Street and an interior nuns’ gallery on two sides. It was designed by the founding pastor, Arthur J. Donnelly (1820–1890), and architect T.S. Wall. The church complex also consisted of a rectory, convent and schools, the latter designed by architect Lawrence J. O’Connor, FAIA. From 1874–1884, the complex was the original home of the Presentation Sisters in the northeastern United States, and enrollment grew to become the largest parochial school in New York. The Sisters and the parish also founded the Mount Saint Michael Home for destitute children, in Greenridge, Staten Island. The Manhattan church contained an 1862 Henry Erben mechanical action organ. On May 4, 1892, a fire destroyed much of the church and the organ.
O’Connor was contracted to design a new structure that incorporated the original tower and acquired a new Indiana bluff limestone facade on 32nd Street. Other details include a roof elevated six feet (two meters) higher than the original church, a vaulted ceiling, aisles with groined arches, fourteen Munich stained glass windows, and a gallery in the form of a choir loft with a new 1893 Odell organ at the rear of the church. The blessing Mass was scheduled for Sunday, January 28, 1894. The total dimensions were 75 feet (23 m) wide by 200 feet (61 m) long. In 1892, the address was listed at 408 West 32nd Street.
In 1904, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company began proceedings for the construction of the North River Tunnels and Pennsylvania Station, which would require the demolition of St. Michael’s 32nd Street church and complex. At the suggestion of the pastor, John A. Gleeson, the Archdiocese sold the parish properties in exchange for a new church, school, convent, and rectory on 34th Street. The office of Napoleon LeBrun & Sons was responsible for the construction of the new complex, which involved the salvage and re-use of the altar, organ, stained glass windows, and limestone facade. The church was dedicated on November 10, 1907. It was described at the time as Romanesque, 75 feet (23 m) wide by 200 feet (61 m) deep and 60 feet (18 m) high. It also had a 2,000-person basement chapel with an 18-foot-high (5.5 m) ceiling.
Reminding dievca of her older brother
And getting some giddy-up to get moving to work on a Saturday.
Enjoy your day off…😘
It was a day before 10 am.
Dad hadn’t a movement in 8 days….with softners, prunes and trying to get him to drink as much water as possible, etc..
It took an Army.
Daughter, Caregiver, Nurse, Home Aid – suppository, prune juice & butter, manipulations, tummy rubbing, squat positioning being held up.
All while two people maneuvered Mom into the bathtub.
Then the arguing about taking a shower began – 5 weeks of Sponge Baths in a row doesn’t cut it.
It was a hell of a Birthday for Dad – but he’s loose and clean!
We ALL needed a drink by Noon.
Mom and Dad just took a nap~