I may miss my Dad…but these made me smile.

Something for the NEW Dad~

Happy Father’s Day to my favorite Men.

It takes a lot to be a good Dad.


The Guy I fell in Love with First – my Dad.

As I watch my Dad keep weight on as best as possible with tube feeding, I remember all the traveling he had to do for work.  All those meals he had on the road. (and he drank) How he would finish what I didn’t eat.  The focus was on me, my brothers, my Mom — not him.

But, Dad tried – he tried to keep running until a severe ankle injury stopped him (his ankle still swells 30 +years later – of course he never went to the Doctor). Dad was a great athlete and he’s still moving as much as possible to this day, but he did have a…

“Dad Bod”

Its true — there is a type of body created by being a Dad. Especially a “resident” Dad.

  • Though age is positively associated with BMI over all years for all men, comparing nonresident and resident fathers with non-fathers reveals different trajectories based on fatherhood status. Entrance into fatherhood is associated with an increase in BMI trajectory for both nonresident and resident fathers, while non-fathers exhibit a decrease over the same period. 

The study was started in 1994-1995 collecting height + weight to calculate BMI (Body Mass Index) and fatherhood status. Covariates included age, education, physical health, income, number of children, screen hours, workouts, etc.  The starting age range was 12-21 and the study was conducted over 20 years with data collected in four waves.

Men were grouped into three categories: resident fathers, non-resident fathers, and non-fathers. The trajectory of standardized BMI over time is shown below.

In a press release, the lead author of the study, Dr Craig Garfield, Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Medical Social Sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and attending pediatrician at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, said,

Fatherhood can affect the health of young men, above the already known effect of marriage. The more weight the fathers’ gain and the higher their BMI, the greater the risk they have for developing heart disease as well as diabetes and cancer.

So, the “Dad Bod” exists.

Weight gain associated with life transitions such as parenthood is a real concern, and public health, social, and clinical supports should be available for men during this time.

And we should be saying, “Thank You” to our Dad’s for giving their health up for us.


As I was reading the study, I wondered about the reasons for participants to be non-Fathers. Did they have a partner, male or female? Did that change the findings? Did marriage, in general, cause a male to gain weight whether there were children or not? Etc.

I think, in general, men who have families forget to take care of themselves.
The “Dad Bod” sacrifice.
And especially for Father’s Day – again, I’d like to Thank You.
Fatherhood is special. XO


As good as it gets~against the odds. (Father’s Day)

Photo: Reddit, Trevor3999 – His Grandma and her Dad

Look, dievca’s Dad is older.  He had a stroke/heart attack a few years ago and they determined they couldn’t operate.  Blood flow efficiency was increased from 20% to 38% with drugs. His handwriting got better, he is walking/cleaning house/gardening/driving to the hardware store/taking care of Mom — doing really well.

Dad took a “header” last summer from the heat and perhaps a little bit of medications needing adjustment.  A mess with a bleed out, broken neck and nose, etc.  He got through it.

We went for his annual heart check-up:

Weight – the same
Blood work – good
Concerns with breathing/dizziness – none
range of motion – better
Heart efficiency – 45% (up a smidgen beyond the margins for error…)

The Doctor thought about it, looked at us and said, “just keep doing what you are doing..”

I think my Dad made his day.

In the end, what dievca is learning from her Dad is that no matter how bad it gets — we know that the act of trying to work through problems may not always be successful, but sometimes it is…
And that is a beautiful thing.
So keep trying, against the odds.

and Happy Father’s Day. XO

Her first Love~

Newborn-baby-girl-in-pink-hatYou fell in love with your daughter when she was born.
Scrunchy, red, ugly – but you didn’t care.
She was your girl.
Her first Love was You.

She fell in love with Daddy.

father-656734_1920You’re the one who would squeeze her tight and read to her at night.
You’re the one who would do goofy voices and want to travel.
You went through:
Father Daughter tricycle Getty ImagesPestering siblings.
Driving to practices.
Getting into schools.
Taking a backseat to other kid’s “needs”.
Embarrassing her in front of friends.
Looking at you weird after you come home from work, burnt out.
Sneaking peeks at what you were doing.
Family challenges.
Disappearing during University and Graduate School.
Coming back as an adult with an understanding of life.
She was still your girl…
Until you passed her over to her new husband, today.
father-daughter-wedding-06 Steve Koo wedding-daddy-daughter-firstlook-8
The good news? He might take over her heart, but she will always have a special place for Daddy.
You are her first boyfriend.
Her first Love.
Dad a daughter's first Love
No one can replace Daddy.
I know, I have a Daddy, too.
With Love and Petals: Father / Daughter Photos That Will Make You Cry (and dievca did cry)

Remembering the strange things Fathers do~JAWS 40th Anniversary


Lake Tahoe in the Summer

Lake Tahoe in the Summer

Everyone has a Father, good or bad, known or unknown, sperm donor, etc. It takes two to Tango.

An involved Dad doesn’t have a “play book” to follow when raising his children. dievca commends and honors all involved Fathers who have done their best to raise their kids. Master is a wonderful Father — he has done a phenomenal job with his offspring.

dievca, herself, is lucky to have a wonderful Father and has many fond memories of activities, situations and love shared. she is fully aware of the time, sweat and tears poured into her growth as a human being, but she also has some strange memories…

One such memory is an outing to the movies.

dievca was 6 years old and her Mother wanted her out of the house while she set up for a party. dievca’s Dad was tasked with taking her to the movies. dievca thought she was going to see a kids movie until her Dad said, “Bring a stuffed animal”.
They were going to see “Jaws”.



dievca watched the movie attached to her Dad’s arm, clinging like a barnacle, with one eyeball peering out from behind her stuffed animal. she didn’t understand the movie, but she knew her Daddy didn’t always get a chance to see his movies – so she would push through and never swim in the ocean. Ever. No problem with that, dievca lived in the Midwest and only swam in swimming pools.

There was some fear when she swam for the first time in Lake Tahoe (photo above) at 8 years old because it was a deep lake, but sharks didn’t live in lakes. And the good news was that her Dad took her on the Universal Studios Backlot Tour in Hollywood, where the Studio Tour tram passed through several sets from the film Jaws and was then attacked by the shark known as JAWS while driving by the faux Amity Harbour shoreline.

So, the fear of sharks was gone by the time dievca swam in the ocean for the 1st time at 9 years old. But, no one told her that she would be carried down the beach by the waves when she played in the ocean.

dievca and her Mom arrived early on the ocean and their rental home wasn’t ready for occupancy. They went down to the beach and her Mother fell asleep for 2 hours while dievca drifted along the shoreline and became lost. Her Mother wasn’t worried if dievca was o.k. Her Mom was worried that dievca’s Dad was going to kill her for losing his precious daughter.

Her Mom didn’t have her glasses on and started yelling at a girl who looked like dievca, but wasn’t dievca. It was dievca’s doppelgänger. When dievca was found, she was introduced to her body double and they became best friends for two weeks. Same age, same birthdays, same coloring, similar swimsuits, etc.
A surreal experience.

Mom, Dad and dievca still laugh about the story.

Yesterday was the 40th Anniversary of JAWS.
And dievca watched JAWS for the first time since being 6 years old on the big screen at SVA. she didn’t remember much, but the movie was really good. It has held up well against time.

she will be calling her Dad for Father’s Day and is going to tell him about how good the movie was…..40 years later. 🙂


From a Father~

Father and Son 1950'sIf you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Source: A Choice of Kipling’s Verse (1943)

Happy Father’s Day