Dinner problems…Posted: December 4, 2022 Filed under: Accessories, Body Type, Clothing | Tags: aging, awareness, Christmas, eating, Food, Friends, Holidays 2022, Humor, Life, outfit, perimenopause Leave a comment
dievca had a lovely evening – but she is learning that her body changes include how much her stomach can hold. she though she was being mindful with the amount of rich food she was eating. she didn’t eat before she arrived. she had done a good amount movement throughout the day, but the amount of food and drink she consumed killed her. It might have been the full glass of water and two generous pours of wine. Perhaps one has to be even more mindful, next time.
The good news was that the rain stopped, plus dievca’s Host and Hostess had no idea of her distress.
Again, a lovely evening – not quite as formal as dievca thought, and dievca got to trim a full Christmas Tree!
Remember, dievca has a Charlie Brown Tree in her apartment…
What dievca wore:
All Saints, All SoulsPosted: November 1, 2022 Filed under: Relationships | Tags: All Saint's Day, All Souls' Day, BDSM, D/s, Death, dievca, Family, Friends, Honor, Life, Love, prayer, self-reflection Leave a comment
The All Saints’ Day (November 1st) celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the traditional night of Samhain in the Celtic religion, began to be called All-Hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.
It is celebrated on the first Sunday of the Pentecost by Eastern Orthodox Churches. It is an official public holiday in Catholic countries. It is not an official public holiday in the US, the UK, Canada, and Australia. Other names for it are All Hallows’ Day, Feast of All Saints, Solemnity of All Saints, and Hallowmas.
All Souls’ Day (Novermber 2nd) is a Catholic day of remembrance dedicated to those who have recently died.
dievca is not going to make it to Texas for coffee on her friend’s grave.
All Saints’ is a reach for dievca, but she has a list for All Souls’ Day – her parents, college roommate, college good friend, workmates, family members, etc. Maybe dievca will head up to Saint John’s the Divine in Manhattan Valley (112th and Amsterdam) to visit a lovely lady interred there and stay a moment for others. Might be a good place to reflect on Life.
dievca is sending love and prayers for your Souls, too.
Traveling, again.Posted: July 2, 2022 Filed under: Entertainment, Home and Garden | Tags: 4th of July, BDSM, D/s, dievca, elderly parents, Family, Friends, fun, Independence Day, Life, Love, old school, Relationships, storage, traveling Leave a comment
Yep, with the knee still wrapped, dievca is heading west to what Master calls “Flyover Country”. she will be consolidating storage units (with good help), seeing family and friends, taking Mom and Dad’s ashes to Mass, etc.
The corn should be knee high by the 4th of July!
dievca might even get a chance to attend a Midwestern small town 4th of July Parade.
What are you up to for Independence Day? (USA located viewers 😘)
Prepping for MidsommarPosted: June 24, 2022 Filed under: Entertainment, Home and Garden | Tags: BDSM, celebration, D/s, dievca, Flowers, Friends, Life, Love, Midsummer, Nature, Summer Solstice, Sweden, travel Leave a comment
dievca’s friend had a delivery from her Father – new potatisar (potatoes) and jordgubbar (strawberries) from their Summer House garden. We have a dill plant, chives in the garden, sour cream and pickled herring. Lamb will be on the grill.
The traditional accompaniment is a cold beer and schnapps.
dievca’s task? Scrub the potatoes…
photos: dievca – Scandinavia 06/2022
Up for a chat and coffee?Posted: January 17, 2022 Filed under: Home and Garden, Musings, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, closeness, coffee, D/s, dievca, Friends, grief, Life, Love, mental health, Monday, Morning, Support 6 Comments
dievca has learned something about the people she considers close friends. When the shit hits the fan, they connect the first day – and then they check-in on the second day. It’s very interesting to watch.
dievca thought about it, she checks in, too.
The question is – when dievca really loses it 3 months, hence – will those people mind stepping in a
second third time? Probably, that’s what good friends do~
Watch – it will happen to you.
It worked~improving a mood.Posted: December 14, 2021 Filed under: Discussion, Home and Garden | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Friends, help, Holiday 2021, Joy, Life, mental health, motivation, positive mental attitude Leave a comment
They always have suggestions for improving a mood and in dievca’s case 6 out of these 34 suggestions worked.
- De-clutter. Getting organized can help us feel instantly calmer. Just five to ten minutes is enough to tackle a small project, like a desk or the kitchen table.
- Rearrange some furniture. Changing an environment can help us feel refreshed, enabling us to bust out of a negative mood.
- Get some sun. A boost of vitamin D can keep the blues at bay. Head outside for a brisk walk around the block. If that’s not possible, station yourself near a window for a few minutes.
- Spend time with Friends. If you want to be happy and calm, spend time around calm, happy people.
- Celebrate good times. Look at happy photos or spend a minute or so thinking back on positive memories (that first 5K finish line, a group trip to the waterpark, that amazing scone from a no-name coffee shop)—nostalgia can trigger happiness.
- Eat for a positive mood. We are what we eat, so step away from the unhappy meal. Instead, try out these meals to boost your mood. Up the happiness quotient by setting a nice place for yourself, lighting a candle, and giving thanks for the meal.
dievca allowed herself to decorate the apartment lightly – she felt less stressed when she decided that she didn’t have to do the full Christmas blowout. Holiday Hints throughout the apartment has made it feel festive for guests and herself. Having dinner with lovely people completed her mood change.
What works for you?
Photos: dievca home decor 12/2021
Shopping Suggestions Holiday 2021Posted: December 5, 2021 Filed under: Accessories, Home and Garden | Tags: BDSM, Christmas, D/s, dievca, Family, Friends, Gifts, Holiday 2021, Life, Masculine, practical, Relationships, Shopping, submissive Leave a comment
dievca shops year round for her Holiday gifts. That said, she also keeps an eye out for items that might be of interest to people of the Masculine persuation ~ or those who like practical and streamlined items. she has the following suggestions for the Holiday 2021 season (UO = Urban Outiftters, top items until the Yellow Submarine Towel – the second set of items are from Huckberry – a great Masculine driver space, Google Image search a photo and it should take you to the item webpage, last two items from Theragun):
Advantage – US OpenPosted: September 5, 2021 Filed under: Entertainment, Neighborhood Anecdotes (NYC) | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Friends, fun, Life, NYC, Queens, submissive, Summer, Tennis, US Open Leave a comment
dievca had a friend come up earlier in the week and ask if she would like to go to the US Open. Yes, absolutely! she had never been to the Open.
The day after Storm Ida steamrolled low areas of NYC, dievca checked the subway schedule to see if the 7 train was still up and running. It was, the track runs above ground in Queens.
The trip was easy, people were chill walking in to the facility. They checked vaccine qualifications and bags before the ticket check – it rolled along quickly. Getting a cocktail was a bit trickier, but offering a nice tip for a bartender who slipped them in guaranteed service for the future.
The best part?
The luck of the draw chose the match, dievca and her friends were able to watch and boldness helped them sit closer, it was:
The match was good fun. The Dutchman offered some challenge to Djokovic and it gave you a good sense of what 10 years of experience offers in Tennis. Smart shots. BTW, those serves went up to 126 mph – crazy!
The second match was #75 Amanda Ansimova (USA) vs #4 Karolina Pliskova (CZK) and both were more evenly matched – it got to be a long match, so dievca had to head home.
Because the Met’s game was letting out at the same time, the MTA ran an express train into Manhattan – which skimmed 20 minutes off the trip. dievca didn’t know she could run that fast anymore to catch a train!
Cali-vibe, NYC stylePosted: August 21, 2021 Filed under: Accessories, Clothing, Jewelry | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, dinner, fashion, Friends, Life, Presentation Outfits, Shopping, submissive, travel Leave a comment
Two dinners with friends!
Hosting!Posted: May 22, 2021 Filed under: Entertainment, Home and Garden, Relationships | Tags: 1950's Household Kink, anticipation, BDSM, COVID-19, D/s, dievca, Dinner Party, entertaining, Friends, fun, vaccine Leave a comment
After work today, dievca is hosting a casual dinner party for friends – all of whom are vaccinated.
she’s out of practice….
but its a simple go with ordering-in burgers from Whitman’s, offering a Junior’s Cheesecake + wine/beer..
Nice to be a bit normal, again.
Anyone else hosting an event?
Where you were and where you are now?Posted: February 26, 2021 Filed under: Discussion, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, D/s, definition, dievca, emotional intelligence, feelings, Friends, Humor, Life, mental health, submissive 2 Comments
The wrung-out feeling of being so emotionally spent you have actually run out of sympathy for anyone else.
dievca was in this space during the beginning of the pandemic – a drunk email from a friend triggered a direct reaction where dievca stated that she had no empathy/sympathy left in her body for her friend’s needs and drama. Worry for her parents, limited working, everyone unsure about safety protocols for COVID-19, challenging political environment, etc. took up her reserves. dievca didn’t realize there was a name for the feeling or condition.
Lately, she has just noticed that her body tension is diminishing and that wrung out, lack of energy for others feeling has lightened.
Is anyone else feeling better?
dievca hopes so!
“No man is a failure who has friends.”Posted: December 25, 2019 Filed under: Home and Garden, Relationships | Tags: 1950's Household Kink, BDSM, Christmas, cooking, D/s, dievca, Elegant, Friends, Holiday 2019, Life, Love 3 Comments
dievca is worried about this happening at Christmas dinner:
But she has fantastic friends, so dinner should be more elegant:
It doesn’t matter as long as everyone feels welcome and enjoys themselves.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
from dievca’s home to yours
Quote from 'It's a Wonderful Life'
Atlanta in AutumnPosted: September 18, 2019 Filed under: Accessories, Dresses, submissive | Tags: BDSM, Clothing, D/s, dievca, Elegant, Friends, hot weather, Life, Presentation Outfits 3 Comments
Its still Warm in ATL
Thursday through Sunday
82-89 F (28-32 C) with 50% Humidity.
dievca is planning on this:
Adding a wrap for the church and the evening chill:
Something to dance in:
With gold accessories:
Feeling a bit Pretty in Pink
An unexpected pleasure – SunflowersPosted: August 23, 2019 Filed under: Entertainment, Home and Garden | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Friends, friendship, Life, Love, NYC, photo, Relationships, submissive, Summer 4 Comments
“True friends are like bright sunflowers that never fade away, even over distance and time.”
Marie Williams Johnstone
An unexpected pleasure in the middle of NYC. dievca grew up with a neighbor who grew large sunflowers in their backyard – it is a childhood pleasure to see one. There is a second sunflower that is so heavy with seeds, the head is drooping.
OrientePosted: August 20, 2019 Filed under: Entertainment, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Friends, friendship, Life, lisbon, photo, Portugal, Summer, travel 3 Comments
Killing time while waiting for a friend to fly into Lisbon…dievca wandered Oriente.
Photos: dievca Lisbon - Oriente 08/2019
Bem vinda = WelcomePosted: August 11, 2019 Filed under: Entertainment, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Friends, Holiday 2019, Life, photo, Portugal, Soccer, submissive, Summer, travel Leave a comment
Twisted, cobblestone streets add to the intimacy of sharing a flat with three people. One of which had no luggage arrive. Shared clothes and underpinnings (new Bjorn Borg underwear passed along permanently) – after a shower… The plan for the evening:
First Portuguese Football Match of the Season, Liga NOS
Benfica vs. Pacos Ferreira – Benfica won 5- 0
Great stadium, fun crowd, uneven teams, awkward yet passionate cheerleaders.
From a past Life, dievca still tries to catch a soccer match while traveling for the flavor of a city.
Photos: dievca, Lisbon Portugal 08/2019
Sun shining through the Rain = Life and DeathPosted: June 19, 2019 Filed under: Home and Garden, Musings, Relationships | Tags: City Life, Death, dievca, elderly parents, Family, FDNY, Friends, Life, Love, NYC, NYPD, Zen 7 Comments
Life is about Ups and Downs.
You need the rain to appreciate the sunshine – etc., etc., etc.
It’s been a weird year for me:
- College Best Friend passed away
- College Roommate passed away.
- Close friend passed away (85), last night
- Parents getting stronger with help.
- My body is apparently quite healthy.
It was interesting finding the 85-year-old friend, last evening. She passed away on her bed – having a lie-down. She looked very Zen.
She was having some unidentified health challenges.
FDNY, NYPD, a Detective, the ME, the morgue all trooped through the small apartment. All polite, kind and working to the best of their abilities. NYPD had to seal the apartment because there wasn’t a spouse or roommate. The apartment will be opened up after the courts allow it…..paperwork.
Here I thought it would be my Parents to move on — with all their challenges. Instead, it was a lovely elderly friend who lived her Life on her own terms.
I’m sad, yet happy she moved on in a peaceful way.
The rain with the sun shining through.
“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”Posted: February 18, 2019 Filed under: Home and Garden, Musings | Tags: BDSM, chores, D/s, dievca, Family, Friends, houseguests, Life, NYC, Relationships, submissive 2 Comments
Some things are lost in translation. dievca understands that…converting from one language to another is tricky. Appropriate behavior is cultural. But, “using” someone is something else. dievca has a young person in her Life, from Europe, she has known for many years. This young person separated from a long-term partner (8 years) and came running to dievca in NYC for regrouping.
Deciding whether you are a Lesbian or Straight takes a more “open” atmosphere.
In the following 6 months, she has been back 3 times. Twice staying with dievca 9+ days.
dievca has a pullout bed in the middle of her open kitchen/living space. The logistics get awkward after too long.
fish and visitors stink after three days
dievca had a discussion with her about finding her own spaces if she continues to visit NYC. This trip, the young’un stayed elsewhere – but showed up on dievca’s doorstep to eat….bringing friends….expecting dievca to have food.
Which is why dievca ran into that coffee sign, above. After buying fresh fruit and pastries (the easy way to prep for a Brunch) – the sign made her smile, take a deep breath. get rid of her ire and grab a cappuccino.
Yes, there was offer of payment for the meals. It was half-hearted, but there. And the young’un thinks of dievca as a second Mother. mi casa es su casa
dievca decided to make the young’un pay via in trade. Grunt work. Get your pound of flesh via hard work. The apartment is clean, windows washed, boxes are moved to storage, dievca’s eyebrows are groomed, her make-up sorted and updated with instructions.
dievca is no longer irritated with her friend/daughter/houseguest/whatever. she’s really a sweet person and dievca got her pound of flesh.
But, dievca will be happy to have her coffee in peace, for the near future.
Psychology Today: The Trouble with houseguests
PS. Master’s opinion is that dievca is being used…
And she was~Posted: January 13, 2019 Filed under: Relationships | Tags: 1980's, Death, dievca, Friends, friendship, Hospice, Life, Love, music, privilege, Relationships, Wine 10 Comments
A most beautiful friend died yesterday.
I got to see her, say “I love you” and hold her hand before she moved on.
I’m hoping that she was able to float out on the next plane, blissing out, losing her pain.
“I used to know a blissed-out hippie-chick in Baltimore,” recalled Byrne in the liner notes of Once in a Lifetime: The Best of Talking Heads. “She once told me that she used to do acid (the drug, not music) and lay down on the field by the Yoo-hoo chocolate soda factory. Flying out of her body, etc etc. It seemed like such a tacky kind of transcendence… but it was real! A new kind of religion being born out of heaps of rusted cars and fast food joints. And this girl was flying above it all, but in it too.”
Then as I thought about it more — I think that my friend would prefer to leave you with this:
Me? I’m firmly on the ground.
What’s better than a cappuccino in the Morning?Posted: October 15, 2018 Filed under: D/s Relationship, Entertainment, Home and Garden | Tags: 1950's Household Kink, BDSM, coffee, D/s, dievca, Dominant, Friends, Life, Love, Master, Monday, NYC, sharing, Submission, submissive 4 Comments
Sharing with a Friend.
(Or making one for your Master or Mistress.)
Photos: dievca NYC Chelsea Market 10/2018
Finishing out the SummerPosted: August 22, 2018 Filed under: Dresses, Fashion | Tags: advice, BDSM, D/s, dievca, fashion, Friends, Graduate School, Jason Wu, Life, Midwestern, Presentation Outfits, Shopping, submissive, Summer, sun dress 4 Comments
Years ago, dievca had a discussion with one of her male Graduate School pals
about what a Woman looked sexiest in.
The sweet Midwestern boy immediately answered, “a sun dress”.
That has stuck in dievca’s mind.
Jason Wu Grosgrain-trimmed striped cotton-poplin Dress
Jason Wu references the Hotel Esencia for his latest capsule collection – the striped patterns are inspired by the chairs that line its beaches. Recently spotted on Tina Leung, this cotton-poplin dress has a close-fitting bodice that’s gently twisted and is balanced by a fluid A-line skirt. You’ll love that it’s cleverly designed with discreet slant pockets and wide grosgrain straps that will easily hide your bra.
– Ivory and black cotton-poplin, black grosgrain
– Concealed hook and zip fastening at back
– 100% cotton; trim: 50% cotton, 50% viscose
– Dry clean
Something a little easier for dievca to wear, presenting for Master in public.
Easier than nude with the LARGE hat.
What to do in the European heat?Posted: July 27, 2018 Filed under: Disasters, Entertainment, Home and Garden | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, Europe, Friends, Hot Summer, Life, photo, submissive, travel, work 6 Comments
Temperatures in Europe are spiking.
After a long week of work, what do you do?
You head to friends and sit in the brown garden.
Take a beer and have “build your own” tacos.
Life is good with friends.
(yes, it was a light beer to start….the Czech beer was better)
PS. dievca’s hair looks like that popcorn~
Photoshoot…Posted: June 27, 2018 Filed under: Discussion, Fashion, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, beauty, confidence, D/s, dievca, Elegant, Friends, Life, Love, Make-up, NYC, photo, submissive, Summer 19 Comments
dievca has learned that her make-up technique just needed some tweaking and you need to build it up for photos because you lose 50%. she also learned that her face is not model material – but it is kind and children love it. (Or maybe that is just her personality coming out — boys, of all ages, tend to love dievca)
dievca also learned that you want your face to be the largest item for the camera, so you don’t push your pelvis forward or stick you hip out to the camera. (she does this all the time…)
dievca learned that good friends giggling with you makes the process easier. And the people watching you appreciate and smile when they know you are having fun. Taking photos with friends in them are more natural.
dievca learned that her friend is a really good make-up artist and photographer.
dievca learned that she…is beautiful.
(A lot of learning going on)
Charlotte Olympia Camera Bag
June Gloom… (and what is really happening)Posted: June 10, 2018 Filed under: Disasters, Discussion | Tags: beach, California, dievca, Friends, June Gloom, Life, submissive, Summer, travel, Weather 2 Comments
June Gloom is a Southern California term for a weather pattern that results in cloudy, overcast skies with cool temperatures during the late spring and early summer. … On a strong June Gloom day, the clouds and fog may extend inland to the valleys and Inland Empire and may persist into the mid-afternoon or evening.
Go figure~ this is the time dievca can take a quick jaunt to visit friends in CA. she wanted to park it on the beach….but she’s been told it isn’t the best time.
This is quite annoying since the weather in NYC has been heavily gloomy, too. With dievca’s luck, NYC weather will be gorgeous and CA a mess. Ah, well. At least she is out of the City.
HAH! dievca’s plane arrived 45 minutes early,
her luggage was the first off the plane
and the WEATHER IS AWESOME!
the rub of the greenPosted: May 13, 2018 Filed under: Clothing, Disasters | Tags: BDSM, Clothing, Color, D/s, dievca, dragonfly, fashion, Friends, green, Life, lululemon, NYC, ramen, Shopping, Spring, submissive, Summer Leave a comment
Dragonflies, normal come out in the heat of Summer and we are not there, yet. But, dievca ran into Dragonfly Green at Lululemon. and she will use the pieces through the heat of the summer.
dievca gets to Lululemon, once, every 6 months. This time she went with a friend who is obsessed with Lulu gear. They spent an hour + in the store.
dievca had to buy this bra, for three reasons:
- It fits her well
- Her Grandma on the Slovak side was infamous for stashing items in her bra. dievca will laugh every time she wears it.
- The color looks good on dievca.
Now, if she can get it together to add make-up. Doubt it.
dievca’s friend was kind enough to stay an hour+ in Anthropologie, afterward, but that is for another post. They made their way to a party by NYU and gobbled up some ramen afterward (Ramen Takumi). As dievca’s friend was walking back to her car and dievca was starting to look for a cab, they spotted this in a florist’s window:
Beautiful, huh? Maybe something for dievca’s bedroom. By the way, the peonies are out!
Can’t ask for anything more~Posted: April 20, 2018 Filed under: D/s Relationship, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, cunnilingus, D/s, dievca, Dominance and submission, erotic, Friends, friendship, Life, Master, Memories, Relationships, submissive 2 Comments
Sometimes you have to stop and honor the moment:
A moment of Joy.
A moment of Appreciation.
A moment of being Treasured.
A moment of Friendship.
Yesterday contained all four:
Spending time with Master.
Master’s laser focus.
Sharing food with friends.
Friends laughing and sharing with me.
The day with Master and the evening with friends who didn’t want to leave.
Can’t ask for anything more.
Time to treasure these memories for when times are lean.
Enjoy your day.
May a good memory be made for you.
But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.Posted: February 12, 2018 Filed under: Relationships | Tags: dievca, Family, Father, Friends, hospital, Life, Love, Master, old age, Relationships, Support, travel 8 Comments
I am afraid that I am going to babble to you the next few days. It’s my way of pushing through and letting off steam. This release helps minimize my explosion of upset emotions about Dad. The meltdown will come, the good news is that you will probably be in India by then~
Airline ticket – check ($400)
Dial 7 – check ($29)
Rental Car – check ($97)
Maybe I was born in Missouri instead of Illinois~
I know I’ve said this, but I NEED to say it, again.
I have amazing friends. You included. I don’t feel alone.
Well, here we go.
He could live or he could die and I don’t have any control over the results.
Let me be calm and breathe.
This is why I kept going back so many times, I have nothing left to say – it has all been said.
My Dad knows I love him and I know he loves me.
But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.
who else will give me hell and tell me that I am out of the will? d.
Can it be taught? and why bother….Posted: April 14, 2017 Filed under: Analysis, Discussion | Tags: Analysis, BDSM, dievca, emotional intelligence, feelings, Friends, friendship, Life, Master, Relationships, self-help 9 Comments
Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capability of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
(Coleman, Andrew (2008). A Dictionary of Psychology (3 ed.). Oxford University Press)
- Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others.
- The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving
- The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.
(Psychology Today definition)
Psychologists Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey introduced the concept of emotional intelligence, or EI, in the early 1990s. Since then, a cottage industry has grown up around the notion, spawning business workshops, self-help books and school programs.
But even the field’s originators are divided about whether EI can be taught: Salovey thinks so; Mayer thinks not.
Like cognitive intelligence, Mayer believes EI is primarily shaped by genes and early experiences. Salovey agrees that like musical talent, EI is partially innate but he argues, “I’m optimistic that people can learn a richer emotional vocabulary and that they can self-regulate emotions better.”
Salovey, the dean of Yale College, points to high school programs that teach students social skills, impulse control and anger management. One program operated by the New Haven, Connecticut, public schools’ social development department can point to lower dropout rates and a decrease in violence since its inception, over a decade ago.
(Darbie Saxbe, PhD)
If you subscribe to the idea that EI can be taught or at least worked on (dievca believes that if you are at least aware of your emotions — that changes them.)
Here are 10 Ways to Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence:
- Don’t interrupt or change the subject, when you are facing your emotions
- Don’t judge or edit your feelings too quickly.
- See if you can find connections between your feelings and other times you have felt the same way.
- Connect your feelings with your thoughts.
- Listen to your body.
- If you don’t know how you’re feeling, ask someone else.
- Tune in to your unconscious feelings.
- Ask yourself: How do I feel today?
- Write thoughts and feelings down.
- Know when enough is enough. There comes a time to stop looking inward; learn when its time to shift your focus outward.
(Norman Rosenthal, MD)
- DO see the bigger picture; broaden your perspective. Is my view narrow and not seeing all the pieces?
- DO shift from me to us. What is happening with you is not the only factor, what is going on with other people? Who else is involved?
- DO ask yourself why. Why am I bothered or hurt by this person or situation? Is there someway I can change it or look at it differently? Am I missing information?
- DON’T limit interpretations to all bad or all good. Admit something might have gone wrong, but look for the positives in the awkward situation.
- DON’T conclude that another’s behavior or mood is in direct response to you and/or your actions. OK, short tempers and poor behavior are not always caused by me, there could be other factors causing issues – what might they be? Or, just let me keep out-of-the-way for today.
- DON’T magnify negative events in your life and discount positive ones. If something went wrong, it is not the end. Determined what caused the problem and adjust. Take any positive situations and build upon them.
- DON’T conclude that what you feel must be the truth and that it’s permanent. Failing is not forever. There is always some type of chance to succeed in the future and what you see/feel might not be as bad as you think. Try to step back an analyze your feelings clearly.
(Umeda Islamova: workingmomsagainst guilt.com – modified by dievca)
Mathew Lieberman at UCLA has done some interesting research on emotion recognition, and apparently, if you can name a troubling emotion, you can immediately calm yourself and your brain down.
Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills although no causal relationship has been shown.
(Debbie Hampton: The Best Brain Possible and Karla McLaren, M.Ed.)
Emotional intelligence, however, is not agreeableness. It is not optimism. It is not happiness. It is not calmness. It is not motivation. Such qualities, although important, have little to do with intelligence, little to do with emotions, and nearly nothing to do with actual emotional intelligence. It is especially unfortunate that even some trained psychologists have confused emotional intelligence with such personal qualities.
(John D. Mayer, PhD – University of New Hampshire)
Why is dievca on this topic? she, herself, scores very high on emotional intelligence, but she wanted to know if people in her Life who don’t have as high emotional intelligence can learn or if it is just a lost cause. dievca believes it is like anything in Life, if someone wants to change – they will work towards change with or without help. If someone doesn’t see a problem, any value or wish to change — all the analysis and talk in the World will fall on deaf ears. In dievca’s case…the person doesn’t see any problem. So, dievca will just leave it alone, even though she believes that EI can be learned and would make that person’s Life better.
Not dievca’s problem………………………………………………..
A message to my Sister with Man RayPosted: April 11, 2017 Filed under: Poetry, Relationships | Tags: BDSM, D/s, dievca, erotic, Friends, friendship, Life, Relationships, sisters 5 Comments
You have many sisters,
and I have none.
You connected with me,
and off we run.
Let me say I love you.
And, I Thank you.
dievca has one friend who knows about her BDSM leanings and she accepts dievca without question. Even when she gets a little uncomfortable. That is love.