What to do in the European heat?

Temperatures in Europe are spiking.

“Warm Out?” … “Shut Up!”

After a long week of work, what do you do?
You head to friends and sit in the brown garden.


Take a beer and have “build your own” tacos.
Life is good with friends.
(yes, it was a light beer to start….the Czech beer was better)

PS. dievca’s hair looks like that popcorn~


Photoshoot…

dievca has learned that her make-up technique just needed some tweaking and you need to build it up for photos because you lose 50%.  she also learned that her face is not model material – but it is kind and children love it. (Or maybe that is just her personality coming out — boys, of all ages, tend to love dievca)

dievca also learned that you want your face to be the largest item for the camera, so you don’t push your pelvis forward or stick you hip out to the camera.  (she does this all the time…)

dievca learned that good friends giggling with you makes the process easier. And the people watching you appreciate and smile when they know you are having fun. Taking photos with friends in them are more natural.

dievca learned that her friend is a really good make-up artist and photographer.

dievca learned that she…is beautiful.

(A lot of learning going on)

 

Charlotte Olympia Camera Bag


June Gloom… (and what is really happening)

June Gloom is a Southern California term for a weather pattern that results in cloudy, overcast skies with cool temperatures during the late spring and early summer. … On a strong June Gloom day, the clouds and fog may extend inland to the valleys and Inland Empire and may persist into the mid-afternoon or evening.

Weather pattern off of Monterey Bay

Go figure~ this is the time dievca can take a quick jaunt to visit friends in CA. she wanted to park it on the beach….but she’s been told it isn’t the best time.

This is quite annoying since the weather in NYC has been heavily gloomy, too. With dievca’s luck, NYC weather will be gorgeous and CA a mess.  Ah, well. At least she is out of the City.

HAH! dievca’s plane arrived 45 minutes early,
her luggage was the first off the plane
and the WEATHER IS AWESOME!

 

 


the rub of the green

(click photo for link to Dragonfly Symbolism)

Lululemon Swifty Tech Tee

Dragonflies, normal come out in the heat of Summer and we are not there, yet. But, dievca ran into Dragonfly Green at Lululemon. and she will use the pieces through the heat of the summer. 

dievca gets to Lululemon, once, every 6 months. This time she went with a friend who is obsessed with Lulu gear. They spent an hour + in the store.

dievca had to buy this bra, for three reasons:

Lululemon Stash and Run Brareasons:

  1. It fits her well
  2. Her Grandma on the Slovak side was infamous for stashing items in her bra. dievca will laugh every time she wears it.
  3. The color looks good on dievca.

Now, if she can get it together to add make-up. Doubt it.

make up geek color swatch

dievca’s friend was kind enough to stay an hour+ in Anthropologie, afterward, but that is for another post. They made their way to a party by NYU and gobbled up some ramen afterward (Ramen Takumi). As dievca’s friend was walking back to her car and dievca was starting to look for a cab, they spotted this in a florist’s window:

Beautiful, huh? Maybe something for dievca’s bedroom.  By the way, the peonies are out!


Can’t ask for anything more~

Sometimes you have to stop and honor the moment:
A moment of Joy.
A moment of Appreciation.
A moment of being Treasured.
A moment of Friendship.

Yesterday contained all four:
Spending time with Master.
Master’s laser focus.
Sharing food with friends.
Friends laughing and sharing with me.

The day with Master and the evening with friends who didn’t want to leave.
Can’t ask for anything more.

Time to treasure these memories for when times are lean.

Enjoy your day.
May a good memory be made for you.


But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.

M.
I am afraid that I am going to babble to you the next few days. It’s my way of pushing through and letting off steam.  This release helps minimize my explosion of upset emotions about Dad. The meltdown will come, the good news is that you will probably be in India by then~

Airline ticket – check ($400)
Dial 7 – check ($29)
Rental Car – check ($97)

I feel like I won’t know anything until I see Dad with my own two eyes.
Maybe I was born in Missouri instead of Illinois~

I know I’ve said this, but I NEED to say it, again.
I have amazing friends. You included. I don’t feel alone.

Well, here we go.
He could live or he could die and I don’t have any control over the results.
Let me be calm and breathe.

This is why I kept going back so many times, I have nothing left to say – it has all been said.

My Dad knows I love him and I know he loves me.

But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.

who else will give me hell and tell me that I am out of the will? d.


Can it be taught? and why bother….

Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capability of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
(Coleman, Andrew (2008). A Dictionary of Psychology (3 ed.). Oxford University Press)


  1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others.
  2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving
  3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

(Psychology Today definition)


Psychologists Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey introduced the concept of emotional intelligence, or EI, in the early 1990s. Since then, a cottage industry has grown up around the notion, spawning business workshops, self-help books and school programs.

But even the field’s originators are divided about whether EI can be taught: Salovey thinks so; Mayer thinks not.

Like cognitive intelligence, Mayer believes EI is primarily shaped by genes and early experiences. Salovey agrees that like musical talent, EI is partially innate but he argues, “I’m optimistic that people can learn a richer emotional vocabulary and that they can self-regulate emotions better.”

Salovey, the dean of Yale College, points to high school programs that teach students social skills, impulse control and anger management. One program operated by the New Haven, Connecticut, public schools’ social development department can point to lower dropout rates and a decrease in violence since its inception, over a decade ago.
(Darbie Saxbe, PhD)

If you subscribe to the idea that EI can be taught or at least worked on (dievca believes that if you are at least aware of your emotions — that changes them.)

Here are 10 Ways to Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Don’t interrupt or change the subject, when you are facing your emotions
  2. Don’t judge or edit your feelings too quickly.
  3. See if you can find connections between your feelings and other times you have felt the same way.
  4. Connect your feelings with your thoughts.
  5. Listen to your body.
  6. If you don’t know how you’re feeling, ask someone else.
  7. Tune in to your unconscious feelings.
  8. Ask yourself: How do I feel today?
  9. Write thoughts and feelings down.
  10. Know when enough is enough. There comes a time to stop looking inward; learn when its time to shift your focus outward.

(Norman Rosenthal, MD)

Emotional do’s

  • DO see the bigger picture; broaden your perspective. Is my view narrow and not seeing all the pieces?
  • DO shift from me to us. What is happening with you is not the only factor, what is going on with other people? Who else is involved?
  • DO ask yourself why. Why am I bothered or hurt by this person or situation? Is there someway I can change it or look at it differently? Am I missing information? 

Emotional don’ts

  • DON’T limit interpretations to all bad or all good.  Admit something might have gone wrong, but look for the positives in the awkward situation.
  • DON’T conclude that another’s behavior or mood is in direct response to you and/or your actions.  OK, short tempers and poor behavior are not always caused by me, there could be other factors causing issues – what might they be? Or, just let me keep out-of-the-way for today.
  • DON’T magnify negative events in your life and discount positive ones.  If something went wrong, it is not the end. Determined what caused the problem and adjust. Take any positive situations and build upon them.
  • DON’T conclude that what you feel must be the truth and that it’s permanent.  Failing is not forever.  There is always some type of chance to succeed in the future and what you see/feel might not be as bad as you think. Try to step back an analyze your feelings clearly. 

(Umeda Islamova: workingmomsagainst guilt.com – modified by dievca)

Mathew Lieberman at UCLA has done some interesting research on emotion recognition, and apparently, if you can name a troubling emotion, you can immediately calm yourself and your brain down.

Why Bother?

Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills although no causal relationship has been shown.
(Debbie Hampton: The Best Brain Possible and Karla McLaren, M.Ed.)

Emotional intelligence, however, is not agreeableness. It is not optimism. It is not happiness. It is not calmness. It is not motivation. Such qualities, although important, have little to do with intelligence, little to do with emotions, and nearly nothing to do with actual emotional intelligence. It is especially unfortunate that even some trained psychologists have confused emotional intelligence with such personal qualities.
(John D. Mayer, PhD – University of New Hampshire)

Mood Mapping: 

Energy and Feelings: unknown source

Mood Causes and Depths: unknown source

Why is dievca on this topic? she, herself, scores very high on emotional intelligence, but she wanted to know if people in her Life who don’t have as high emotional intelligence can learn or if it is just a lost cause. dievca believes it is like anything in Life, if someone wants to change – they will work towards change with or without help. If someone doesn’t see a problem, any value or wish to change — all the analysis and talk in the World will fall on deaf ears. In dievca’s case…the person doesn’t see any problem. So, dievca will just leave it alone, even though she believes that EI can be learned and would make that person’s Life better.
Not dievca’s problem………………………………………………..