Master told me that I would be exhausted when I got back.
Watching someone you love, pass away, is a privilege.
But it does run you through the gamut.
I just want coffee before heading to work.
A Simple Coffee.
A most beautiful friend died yesterday.
I got to see her, say “I love you” and hold her hand before she moved on.
I’m hoping that she was able to float out on the next plane, blissing out, losing her pain.
“I used to know a blissed-out hippie-chick in Baltimore,” recalled Byrne in the liner notes of Once in a Lifetime: The Best of Talking Heads. “She once told me that she used to do acid (the drug, not music) and lay down on the field by the Yoo-hoo chocolate soda factory. Flying out of her body, etc etc. It seemed like such a tacky kind of transcendence… but it was real! A new kind of religion being born out of heaps of rusted cars and fast food joints. And this girl was flying above it all, but in it too.”
Then as I thought about it more — I think that my friend would prefer to leave you with this:
Me? I’m firmly on the ground.
dievca is not a cook, she bakes…
she WILL be cooking today because 5 friends are coming for dinner.
They are a “Meat and Potato” crowd, so she is keeping it simple:
- Fresh Vegetables with Dip, Cheese Plate and Chardonnay for Appetizers on the rooftop
- Baked Pork Chops (bone in), Green Beans, Rice and Norman Cidre for the Main Course
- Lemon Meringue Pie and Pinot Grigio or Coffee/Tea for Dessert
Wish her luck, but dievca does have a secondary strategy: Distraction via Clothing
And Plan C: Pizza and Beer
Sometimes you have to stop and honor the moment:
A moment of Joy.
A moment of Appreciation.
A moment of being Treasured.
A moment of Friendship.
Yesterday contained all four:
Spending time with Master.
Master’s laser focus.
Sharing food with friends.
Friends laughing and sharing with me.
The day with Master and the evening with friends who didn’t want to leave.
Can’t ask for anything more.
Time to treasure these memories for when times are lean.
Enjoy your day.
May a good memory be made for you.
50 F (10 C)
~the question is what to do with the new-found knowledge, does it help or hinder~
Hello, how are you doing? I hope my choice of blog reposts these past two weeks were semi-interesting. If nothing else, I had fun going back to read them and revisit the memories.
I didn’t get a chance to read blogs like I thought I would. I ended up researching a graduate program (3rd Master’s degree anyone? We will see), working extra to allow me to travel down South.
The traveling included visiting Families and Friends, learning about myself and watching people react:
- How does one deal with chemo after getting a great check-up with a Doctor who can only give a lukewarm delivery. How many times had that Doctor put their heart on the line, to be shut down?
- Or watching the robust couple who lost (or gained) everything with a brain tumor? The frank discussion of choosing not to do radiation the next time it’s needed.
- I have a tendency to see something in a home that needs done and doing it….it’s invasive, yet, needed. So, I pray that my minor moments of help are seen as a “break” not an offense.
- Talking to college students about their hopes, dreams and drinking across Europe is very entertaining.
- Cuddling with immense dogs is messy and healing.
- All done while eating a whole lot of BBQ and butter~ everything is better with butter.
This watchfulness and self-reflection of family relationships, relationships and friendships triggered a review of what I want for the future, what I want for my Life and why I want things. I know that I am not in need, but what would fulfill me?
I don’t have any hard conclusions, but I’d like to share information I’ve pondered.
Assess your friend network
Research shows that having a strong network of relationships is vital to our health.
It’s harder to make friends as we get older.
Tereasa Jones, who has a master’s degree in counseling and is a certified life coach who specializes in friendship coaching, had suggestions about how to make new friends as an adult..
According to Jones, we all move through a variety of interpersonal relationships on a daily basis.
- “Intimates” are the lifelines you can call at 3 a.m. with an emergency.
- “Friends” you spend time with, but maybe don’t share every detail of your life
- “Friendly acquaintances” are people you know you like and whom you see on a regular basis in a particular setting, like work or the yoga studio. They’re the ones you’ve considered inviting out for coffee, but never have.
- “Acquaintances” are people you’re friendly with in passing, at the store, the gym, in the elevator.
I asked myself which of these categories am I missing in my life?
None, but changes can be considered.
I have a lot of “friendly acquaintances” and “friends” by default – there is always someone I can ask to meet for coffee, a movie, a museum, talk about an issue, ask advice. And I do have a core set of “intimate friends” whom I connect with consistently, but most of them live in different states/countries….
That might be the group I need to address, locally.
It’s tough as an adult to find the time, desire and say “yes” to the odd activity, but as Amy Silverstein suggests:
Sometimes friendship is just about showing up
“Don’t be afraid to show up….Push yourself a little bit, when you sense that you’re needed. Show up with an open mind to be there in any way that your friend needs: to let her yell, cry, not say anything at all, [or to] just hold her hand.”
I’m well aware that in most cases you receive what you give.
Yes, there are the odd circumstances where you get taken advantage of….but if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open. You should be o.k.
If I keep my eyes, ears and heart open. I should be o.k.
Wish me Luck!
How is your friend situation looking? Any way you can push away from the BBQ and butter to meet someone new? Let me know about it!
Thank you to Annaliese Griffin from Well & Good
And an interesting read from a Guy's Viewpoint.
May the sun bring you new energy by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night,
May the rain wash away your worries,
May the breeze blow new strength into your being,
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.
A close friend was diagnosed with Cancer, they began treatment this week. No form of cancer is easy to deal with but the timeline for this type is …. dismal.
Add that everyone has moved on from the Faith they grew up with and dievca did not replace hers with their new Faith, she doesn’t do their religious platitudes well.
But, I love you is good.
And, perhaps, the piece above … (or is that a platitude and trite?)
The piece above was written for the 1947 Western novel Blood Brother by Elliott Arnold. The fictional blessing entered popular consciousness when it made its way into the 1950 film adaptation of the novel Broken Arrow, scripted by Albert Maltz.
People think it is an Apache Blessing.
Fictional or not, the words convey positive wishes.
In the end, all you can do is pray to whatever deity you chose, send your strength through the ether, be there for any research/communication/cheerleading/venting that is needed and show up, be present and donate whatever is needed when called upon.
Currently, dievca is using Joy and Happiness through stories and memories to try to lessen the pain as well as remind that Life has components that are worthy of effort. Not sure it is working, but its all she can think to do right now.
dievca is taking suggestions~