Still chewing on it~

dievca is pondering her Life:

“This Ponderous, Man. really Ponderous”

Seven and a half years later and she is still pondering her Life:

  • Does she look for a new job?
  • Does she get a 3rd graduate degree and change careers?
  • Does she write a Children’s Book? (an inside joke on dievca)
  • Does she move from NYC?
  • Does she stay put?
  • Will she get cancer? (Her brother is going through Chemo for a stage 2 form)
  • Shouldn’t she be connecting with her cousins more?

Master stated that when you lose both of your Parents, you lose an anchor to your family – you are now “truly” an adult. dievca sees it as the two people who loved her just because she existed and were behind her in any situation good or bad are gone. The guaranteed love safety net is gone.  

It’s taken 6 months for that to hit home….

Time to buy a new pair of shoes (note the survivalist theme and Midwestern moment):

ACNE Studios green-desert-boot-high-sneakers

ACNE Studios green desert boot high sneakers

Then dievca will sing this song:


Up for a chat and coffee?

Coffee chatdievca has learned something about the people she considers close friends.  When the shit hits the fan, they connect the first day – and then they check-in on the second day.  It’s very interesting to watch.
dievca thought about it, she checks in, too.

The question is – when dievca really loses it 3 months, hence – will those people mind stepping in a second third time?   Probably, that’s what good friends do~

Watch – it will happen to you.


My Mom isn’t eating much.

HeartAnd she is a sleeping more. Is it depression or time to go?
Its the first time dievca’s Mom wanted to sleep rather than speak with her. 

When you are the youngest of the two youngest and everyone (Dad/Aunts/Uncles) have passed.  Your last tie to an Era will soon be cut.  You can only hope that your oldest cousins can answer your questions about Family.

she knows she shouldn’t borrow trouble, but dievca’s heart is hurting.

Her Mom’s Life isn’t really a Life – so it will be good when Mom catches up with dievca’s Dad. She misses him

dievca just keeps sending Love from her mind and her heart.