My hands look like his…a story that ends well in death

Posted: April 24, 2020 | Author: | Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Dad died.
I could hear the death rattle while video chatting with my Mother – trying to think of every humorous or lovely moment with Dad and other family members to distract her. Dad was gasping for air. 99% sure it wasn’t COVID-19, the Speech Therapist said that as Dad lost swallowing capabilities – food/water would go down the wrong pipe, and pneumonia would set in. It did. Hospice wouldn’t come unless Dad was tested…Dad wasn’t going anywhere to get tested.

It didn’t end ugly.
I can Thank our amazing careworkers, morphine, my brother, and the great-grandkids for that. I wouldn’t have called the kids in time to say, ‘good-bye’ – they are all under 7 years old – Dad was such a mess I thought it would terrify their dreams. My brother called and they all trooped over (6+ of them) to see Dad with little masks and gloves.

Dad rallied.
He passed out Tootsie Pops.
Turned over and died in the chaos with Mom on his shoulder and holding hands with the chain of kids.

That thought sustains me more than the painful video call earlier. Dad would do anything for a kid. Kill himself for a kid. Works for me. Thank Goodness my brother called in the troops. A better way to go.

So, will the kids have bad dreams? I don’t know.
I just know that as I look at my hands which are the same shape as my Dad’s,
I am really craving a red Tootsie Pop.

Painting by Mick McGinty

Reality Check: Older Parents

Posted: December 28, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Discussion, Entertainment, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

My coffee and Mom’s nebulizer stuff.

You know you have elderly parents when:

  • You’ve survived multiple episodes of falls, strokes, heart issues and you are unfazed, you roll.
  • The house or living situation has wellness paraphernalia all around (nebulizer attachments).
  • You have Amazon Prime and use it for reoccurring orders of incontinence pads and underwear.
  • You find the most simple coffee-maker for your Mom to use and write down the directions.
  • You feel like you are going deaf from “yelling” to be heard.
  • You know where the bleach, oxyclean and pee pads are located in the house.
  • You can make-up a week of Meds for both parents in 15 minutes or less.
  • You know the way to make the Meds because your Dad continues to tell you how to do it.
  • You know the neighbors, friends and home aides who assist and visit your Parents.
  • You are extremely grateful to those people and their patience with hearing a story 20+ times.
  • Their behavior reminds you to pay-it-forward.
  • You’ve learned to take a breath because you know how much your Dad hates losing his control.
  • You have seen enough bodily functions to try to figure out solutions to the bodily challenges.
  • You get excited for a Toto Washlet Toilet seat.
  • You look for things to tempt your parent’s taste buds because they don’t eat enough.
  • You really want a glass of wine at 11 am, daily when you are home.
  • Reminder: we will all be elderly at some point with Luck.
  • You make notes for when you are older.

I am sure you can add to this list, please feel free to do so in the comments.
(PS. Both, Mom and Dad, had check-ups today and things are going relatively well.)

XO