What is the Shmoo? Self-care assistant.

dievca found a Tenga Iroha Vibrator she bought and forgot about….

Tenga Iroha Yuki Click the photo to purchase

After digging it out, she decided to use it in a moment of self-care.  It seems like it may be a good vibrator to use on a partner. The soft tip hit dievca’s clit nicely and the head can be inserted into the vaginal opening (possibly the anal opening, too). Clean up was easy.

dievca sent Master this photo:

she received a reply:

Ha! This looks like a fictional creature in a long-gone comic strip called
a shmoo.

The shmoo (plural: shmoos, also shmoon) is a fictional cartoon creature created by Al Capp (1909–1979); the character first appeared in the comic strip Li’l Abner on August 31, 1948.

A shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with stubby legs. It has smooth skin, eyebrows, and sparse whiskers—but no arms, nose, or ears. Its feet are short and round, but dexterous, as the shmoo’s comic book adventures make clear. It has a rich gamut of facial expressions and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head. Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics:

  • They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits.
  • They require no sustenance other than air.
  • Shmoos are delicious to eat and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself—either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.
  • They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter—no churning required. Their pelts make perfect boot leather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.
  • They have no bones, so there’s absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.
    Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged “shmoosical comedies”) that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.
  • Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually, shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.


Hmm, look the vibrator is pretty good, but dievca doesn’t think it is quite as great as Al Capp’s Shmoon!

When you can’t get it to stay turned off…


A little too much water in the shower caused a problem.
The damn thing kept turning back on.
There isn’t a removable battery.
And, No, the glue isn’t there to close anything for periods.

Saturday: FIT Museum and a Sex Shop visit

Sex Shop Sexy Girl Toys Bar NEW Neon Light Signdievca had a burning desire to wander around a sex shop with Master. He wasn’t so keen on the idea…

dievca had clean, informative and dynamic in her mind.
Master had dark, dirty and seedy in His mind.

So, when dievca was assigned to plan their Saturday afternoon date – she chose the FIT Museum to see the Dance & Fashion Exhibition and a Sex Shop.

dievca had seen the Exposed: History of Lingerie with a friend, but the Museum closed before they could visit more exhibits. The Lingerie Exhibition was poorly organized, but it had some neat items and it was free. The Dance Exhibition looked like it had more sponsorship, so dievca was hoping that it would be better curated. Plus, dievca knew that Master had dated a number of ballet and modern dancers in His past life, so she thought He would enjoy the exhibit.

The sex shop field trip was planned for after the visit to FIT.
Here is the information dievca sent to Master.

Sex Shop Options:
57th between 6th and 7th:. Eve’s Garden (Women’s Toys) — clean and nice

20th between 7th and 8th: Purple Passion (Sex Fetish shop, latex – not really toys….) — looks a bit dodgy.

27th at 5th: Museum of Sex (they have an online shop – I’ll call to see if they have a shop we can visit) — looks like nicer items online.

Mercer Street in SoHo: Babeland is the one that would be best (clean, bright, matter of fact) but that is in SoHo — a special trip.

***Master chose the Babeland option, probably while rolling His eyes.***

Saturday, arrived and dievca had straightened hair in a low ponytail, natural make-up, and a navy blue bra.


Master arrived in:

Master and dievca met at the FIT Museum to be amazed by the fabulous Dance costumes/Couture Clothing and how badly curated the exhibition is…there is no real rhyme or reason to the set-up. Perhaps it is set-up like that, so you are drawn to what you like and ignore the rest. Or maybe the organizers want the FIT students to make their own categorical decisions for the items. Whatever, so far the FIT exhibitions have not been not easy to follow.

The crisp weather allowed for a delightful walk along 28th, through the Flower District, to take to the N, R subway line. A downtown train took dievca and Master to the Canal Street Station, where they walked up to Babeland.

Behold a clean and well-organized sex shop! The staff waited until you asked a question and there were a variety of  items are offered sale: Vibrators, Dildos, Lube, BDSM play items, Videos, Books. It took us about 15 minutes to peruse the items for sale and Master thought they could offer more items. dievca felt very comfortable asking about vibrators and the salesperson was quite knowledgeable. Thank Goodness she was there to help because dievca couldn’t figure out how to get some of the items to turn off… (You would be playing with the buttons, too, right?)

An informative and lively discussion about toys ensued which ended with dievca buying a new vibrator to replace two that died.

dievca didn’t really think about it nor did she notice it, but Babeland (she should have known from the name) is heavily staffed by young, adorable Lesbians and one Gay Gentleman. Master commented on it immediately. Master also noticed that there were about 20 customers in the store and only two of them were male (Himself, included).

dievca was so focused on replacing her vibrators and trying to get the damn things to turn off, she didn’t notice anything else.

A big decision, you know, to buy the right vibrator….especially when you are considering 6 of them all at once.
Choices, Choices, Choices!

Iroha Fit Mika Yellow

Iroha Fit Mika Yellow

dievca ended up with this Iroha Fit. It’s silicone and slightly padded (soft), it bends with applying pressure and the tip has some give, the tapered shape allows for a gentle entrance to give a nice “build-up”. The padding offers extra movement and a more “real” feel for squeezing. Nice.

Verdict on the Date? A success. (Thank Goodness)
It was interesting to see the FIT items and the poor exhibition planning, gorgeous walk and the Sex Shop was the highlight.

Roast chicken and veg for dinner, plus an excellent wine (2012 NADIA Quattro) — while the vibrator charged and then Master started playing with His dievca (Yes, we called it the banana).