Kink vs. Fetish

The Velvet Underground sang, “Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather…Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you” (“Venus in Furs”).

Does the song touch on kinks or fetishes? It all depends…

Kinks
‘Kink’ is a general term that describes any sexual proclivities that could be seen as unconventional. It comes from the idea that one’s sexuality may deviate from the norm—the straight line has bend in it.

Costumes, role play, BDSM—anything in that kind of area could be considered a kink, but so could plenty of accessory-free activities. One person’s standard sexual activity can be another individual’s kink. The line fluctuates from person to person.

In the past, BDSM was seen as a ‘paraphilia’ rather than a kink, grouped by psychiatrists with desires to perform non-consensual acts. There is a world of difference between consenting adults experimenting with each other in the pursuit of pleasure and people harming others against their will. Master and dievca have a relationship based upon consent – experimenting and living with a power dynamic and other activities.

Fetishes
A fetish is a sexual fixation on a certain object or act that is necessary for a person to achieve sexual gratification.

If you enjoy certain activities that are not considered the norm that might be a kink, but if you can’t get off without a certain object, process or activity – that’s a fetish. Anal sex you try every year on your birthday? A kink. Can’t get in the mood without being peed on? A fetish.

Kinks are employed to enhance an experience, fetishes are integral to them. 

Another way a kink becomes a fetish is if the other person can be removed from the equation – if you are turned on by shoes alone without anyone to be wearing them, that’s a fetish. Partialism is a sexual interest with a focus on a specific part of the body. This can be any part of the body, such as the hair, breasts, or buttocks. The most common form of partialism is podophilia, in which a person becomes sexually aroused by feet.

“Diversity, dievca, Diversity!”

Master and dievca had a conversation about Kink and Fetishes early in their Relationship. Master mentioned that His interest waned when a partner couldn’t orgasm unless a certain set of steps were followed in precise order while wearing a specific outfit. It was fine early in the relationship because it was about communication and learning about someone new – but later, for Him, it was tedious.

dievca has found that she likes to “change it up”, too.  Apparently, her getting off can happen in a variety of ways and Master delights in finding a new cause for orgasm.

That said, it is good when someone knows specifically what “gets them off”. Some people go through Life never understanding their body, needs nor have had their desires met. Having a fetish may offer a clear cut road for success!

Photo: dievca thinks the photo can be credited to Kaushik, Gupta