Starlight on ~

Photos: Top two – Bryant Park Christmas Village Starlight shop, Middle – January 1987 Poem, Bottom two – the star dievca bought.


Patience

Rilke:
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.
Do not now look for the answers.
They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.
It is a question of experiencing everything.
At present you need to live the question.
Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer.


Sharing the giving of Thanks in NYC

The Mickey Mouse balloon debuted at the 1934 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade

dievca has a lot to be Thankful for and she will take a moment today to think on that and she is sure a number of other people will be doing the same thing across the USA. Maybe the World would like to join in for a moment of Thanks (except for Canada…they already had their Thanksgiving~).

And if not, maybe you might be interested in the History of the NYC Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade which (like many USA traditions)….started as an advertising gimmick:

Macy’s Day Parade: The Beginnings

The first-ever Macy’s Day Parade actually took place on Christmas of 1924. Macy’s employees dressed as clowns, cowboys, and other fun costumes, and traveled with Central Park zoo animals and creative floats a lengthy six miles from Herald Square to Harlem in Manhattan.

NYC's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade: The Humpty Dumpty Float- 1926

NYC’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: The Humpty Dumpty Float- 1926

The parade was meant to draw attention to the Macy’s store in NYC, and the gimmick worked – more than 250,000 people attended the inaugural Macy’s Day Parade. It was decided that this NYC parade would become an annual NY event in Manhattan.

In 1927, Felix the Cat became the first giant balloon to ever take part in the Macy’s Day Parade. In 1928, Felix was inflated with helium, and without a plan to deflate this massive balloon, NYC parade organizers simply let Felix fly off into the sky. Unfortunately, he popped soon afterwards.

The Macy’s Day Parade continued to let the balloons fly off in following years, only these balloons would have a return address written on them, and whoever found the balloon could return the balloon for a prize from Macy’s. However, the results of this experiment weren’t exactly successful….

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Continues to Grow

The Eddie Cantor Balloon in the 1940 Thanksgiving Day Parade New York

The Eddie Cantor Balloon in the 1940 Thanksgiving Day Parade New York

Despite the Great Depression, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade continued to grow through the 1930’s. The first national radio broadcast of the Macy’s Parade Thanksgiving took place in 1932. Two years later, Disney got in on the giant balloon fun, introducing the Mickey Mouse balloon in 1934. By then, more than one million people were attending this popular parade in NYC, and those fortunate enough to own a TV could see the broadcast on NBC starting in 1939.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York was temporarily suspended from 1942- 1944 for World War II. In an effort to help America’s cause, the rubber used to make the Macy’s Day Parade floats were donated to the American military. More than two million people attended the 1945 Macy’s Day Parade, and this popular New York City event has continued to grow ever since.

Today, more than 8,000 people take part in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade each year, and it takes another 4,000 dedicated volunteers to put together this NYC Thanksgiving celebration. Both NBC and CBS broadcast the New York City parade nationwide, and this NYC event still attracts high-profile musicians and the most talented Broadway performers.

Fun Facts about the NYC Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Did you know…

Like today, children then also loved the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade

Like today, children then also loved the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade

  • The inaugural Macy’s Day Parade took place on Christmas, 1924.
  • Over 250,000 people attended the first Macy’s Day Parade in NYC.
  • In 1927, Felix the Cat became the first giant balloon featured at the Macy’s Day Parade.
  • The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade New York was first broadcast on the radio in 1932.
  • One million people attended the 1933 Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC.
  • In 1934, Mickey Mouse made his giant balloon debut at this famous New York City parade.
  • The Macy’s Day Parade floats were pulled by horses until 1939.
  • 1939 was also the first year NBC broadcast the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. NBC continues to be the official broadcast station of the Macy’s Parade, though CBS also carries the parade unofficially. 50 million viewers tune in to this New York parade each year.
  • Because of Word War II, there was no Macy’s Day Parade from 1942-1944. During that time, the rubber and helium originally meant to blow up the famous Macy’s balloons were donated to the American military.
  • The 1945 Macy’s Day Parade surpassed 2 million people in attendance.
  • Six days after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade went ahead as scheduled in hopes of raising the national spirit.
  • Snoopy – the Peanuts character created by Charles Schultz – holds the distinction of having the most Thanksgiving Day NYC Parade floats, with six different balloons since 1968.
  • Because of heavy rain, the 1971 Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade was forced to ground all giant balloons, making it the first Macy’s Parade without balloons since 1926.

A dachsund parade balloon in Times Square - 1950's

A dachsund parade balloon in Times Square – 1950s

  • Today’s Macy’s Day Parade features over a dozen giant balloons, nearly 30 parade floats, 1,500 dancers and cheerleaders, more than 750 clowns, several marching bands from around the country, and over 8,000 participants in all!
  • The giant balloon inflation is open to the public, and takes place from 3pm-10pm the evening before Thanksgiving on 77th and 81st streets between Central Park West and Columbus Ave.
  • 4,000 volunteers take the time each year to put on this NYC Thanksgiving celebration.
  • The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade route is 2.65 miles long.
  • 3.5 million people attend the Macy’s Day Parade each year.
  • The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade is the second-oldest in the country, behind the 6ABC Dunkin’ Donuts Thanksgiving Day Parade in Philadelphia.

(Thank you to NYC Tourist for the compilation of the history, modifications made by dievca)


Week III

Working towards the end of Jury Duty…moved into Week 3.
Seen quite a bit: Robbery, Theft, Murder, Assault, Bail Jumping, Narcotics.
Still trying to look like a competent Human when I show up.

    • Brown/Black Upcycled Boots
    • Brown Cashmere-blend Max Mara car coat
    • Brown Hugo Boss Cotton Pants
    • Sonia Rykiel Sweater
    • Missoni knit hat
    • Ines Red Gloves
    • Patagonia Paintbrush Backpack


When you bike and its cold:

  • Tottenham Hotspurs Skull Cap
  • Uniqlo Women’s Lightweight Coat Navy
  • Adidas Falcon Sneakers
  • Nili Lotan Gigi Navy Cashmere Sweater
  • Uniqlo Leggings
  • Calvin Klein Microfleece Pants
  • Zara Paisley Tee
  • River Island Fox Socks
  • Mimi Holiday Foxglove Bra and Panties

New item, on the docket for usage:

Chloe Rylee Red Snakeskin Bootie

And currently trying to figure out an outfit for our Anniversary Dinner. Not too fancy….

 


Exhausted…

Photo: Exhausted by Mez Sampson

“Exhausted and alone, my resources are gone, I need your strength to carry me on.”
The original was slated for a charity auction benefiting women’s shelters. The auction was canceled by the organizers making it available. It is matted (3″)and signed by myself and the model. Click here to purchase.

A low-key lighting set up of Keira Grant in an emotive artistic nude pose.


Aftercare (its not just for BDSM)

The Drop.

It’s difficult to talk about BDSM Aftercare without first referring to the Drop. Commonly it is more associated with submissives and known as sub-drop, but the feeling and sensation can also occur within dominants and be known as Dom-drop.

It is a mind state that is similar to the sensations of depression and will occur after an intense BDSM scene. It is caused by the sudden drop of endorphins and adrenaline that will occur after the spikes within play. There is speculation about why it occurs less within dominants and the most rational train of thought is that Dominant types experience a different form of energy than their submissive counterparts, a dominant doesn’t necessarily experience the same endorphin and emotional high as a result of the activities. The symptoms of a sub drop will often include:

Difficulty with memory, details and making decisions
Decreased levels of energy
Strong feelings of guilt and helplessness
Strong feelings of pessimism
Excessive sleeping or insomnia
Increased irritability and restlessness
Loss of interest in activities that were once deemed to be pleasurable
Appetite loss and over eating
Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety or ‘empty’ feelings
Thoughts of suicide

In some serious cases of “drop”  could involve flu-like symptoms and result in sickness as a result of the stress to the body lowering the immune system. As you can see in the above symptoms sub drop is almost always accompanied by feelings of depression, anxiety or lethargy. The symptoms might present themselves almost immediately or they might take up to 72 hours to form. One sub might get sick and feel nauseated while another might get headaches, and another still might decide to sleep for the next day. It affects people differently.

It’s prudent for a dominant to make sure their submissive knows after a scene that they will be there for them and that you will be checking in with them over the next few days.

Delayed onset of sub drop can be surprising. The sub might find themselves riding the high of the experience and all of a sudden their body/mind will just crash.

What is BDSM Aftercare?

Aftercare is the time you and your partner take after play time to recover and also to see to each other’s emotional and physical needs. Certain role plays and kinky acts can be both physically and psychologically taxing, so this time is a great for relaxing, as well as getting ‘back to reality.’

Why is it Necessary?

Our fantasies and play don’t necessarily correlate with who we are in our regular, day-to-day lives. While we may want our partner to dress as a demanding authoritarian who exacts humiliating punishments on us during kinky play, that may not be how you set up the normal course of your relationship. Aftercare functions as a ‘re-calibration’ for the normalcy of a relationship.

There can be an immediate physical toll as well. Many people compare the sensation immediately following a scene  as being similar to sensations felt after an intense athletic performance. The rush of endorphins coupled with potential physical exertion can leave you feeling weak, fatigued, or dazed, and you may be slightly dehydrated depending on the intensity of the scene.

“Sub drop” or any drop is not exclusive to BDSM. One 2015 study found that nearly 46% of the 230 women surveyed felt feelings of tearfulness and anxiety after sex — which is known as “postcoital dysphoria” — at least once in their lives (and around 5% had experienced these feelings a few times in the four weeks leading up to the study). Experts have speculated that this may stem from the hormonal changes people (particularly those with vaginas) experience after orgasm, but many also say that it can come from feeling neglected. The so-called “orgasm gap” suggests that straight women, in particular, may feel that their needs in bed are ignored. People in general can also feel lousy post-sex if they’re not communicating about what they liked and didn’t like about the experience.

Taking the time to be affectionate and talk more after sex — a.k.a. aftercare — can make sex better for everyone, not just those who experience a BDSM scene.

Types of Aftercare

Aftercare can be generally put into two categories: physical and emotional. Physical aftercare includes things such as helping remove any paraphernalia like restraints or blindfolds, getting your partner something to eat or drink (blood sugar levels can be important to pay attention to), providing a blanket or warm clothing, kissing or caressing any part of their body, or specifically to area that may have been marked during play, or  providing affection and comfort in a quiet place.

An intimate massage can be a great way to connect with your partner while offering a comforting touch, and a warm massage oil can sooth both your muscles, and the skin if you were engaging in impact play. A bath or shower is also great; it serves a practical clean up purpose as well as letting you both share an intimate and relaxing moment!

Emotional aftercare involves discussing the scene and how you both felt about it, good and bad, which is integral for ensuring that you both understand each other’s needs and expectations from play. You also may want to give your partner assurances about their kink, reminding them that nothing they did or enjoyed makes them ‘weird’ or ‘perverse.’ Making a conscious point to continue this conversation after a couple of days also makes sure you’re both aware of any negative feelings that have lingered, and can also serve to make you excited about the next time.

Does Everyone Need Aftercare?

Some people might be completely okay without aftercare, or may prefer to be left alone and not kiss and cuddle. That’s why it’s important to negotiate aftercare before getting started. If you’re just starting to experiment with BDSM and not sure what kind of aftercare you or your partner may need, discussing your feelings after the scene serves as your jumping off point for the care you or your partner would like to receive in experiences to come.

Additionally, many assume that aftercare is exclusively something that a Dominant must give for a sub, though that simply isn’t true. Someone in a Dominant role may experience the same ‘drop’ from physical exertion as a sub, and can similarly desire the emotional connection that re-establishes the normal, healthy roles of your relationship.

And those in long-term relationships are certainly not exempt from aftercare. It’s something couples should continue to do, especially after trying something new (such as anal sex). Did the sex hurt? Do they want to do it again? What did they like and not like about it? You can’t know what your partner is thinking unless you ask them. Plus, it can be easy for long-term partners to feel taken for granted, so making sure to cuddle, stroke each other’s hair, and savor the moment after sex can make even the most routine sex feel special.

One thing to keep in mind? It can also be helpful to continue these conversations when everyone’s vertical, clothed and any post-orgasm high has faded.

There is no one way to give or receive aftercare, the only real guideline is to be open, accepting, and attentive to the emotional and physical needs of your partner, while also making sure that your own needs are met as well.

What should you do if you don’t get Aftercare?

Although it is normally advised that a dominant should be in a position to provide suitable after care, there may be rare instances where this is not possible. A submissive might need more time than usual to come down, and a dominant might simply be not in a position to do so. In such a situation a babysitter might be utilized, that being a third-party kink friendly individual who can take on the responsibility of after care for the submissive. In such situations it is still highly recommended and considered to be good practice for the dominant to spend at least 15 minutes with the submissive so that immediate feelings of abandonment and hopelessness do not set in. The babysitter should be a mutually agreed upon person by all involved which can continue the responsibilities of aftercare once the dominant is required to leave.

And if a Dom won’t talk about Aftercare beforehand or does not follow through – walk away, immediately.

Compiled and modified by dievca with Thanks to:
Katy Thorn, Lelo website article on Aftercare
Amanda Luterman, a kink-friendly psychotherapist from a Refinery 29 article on Aftercare
Rick Sales, hellsc.com.au website article on BDSM Aftercare


Its not all glamorous…

Master walked into His bedroom,
to find His dievca, lying on the floor – naked, reaching under His bed.

she was trying to grab a high heel that got kicked underneath.
Lying on her belly, partially beneath the bed, kinda stuck,
dievca must have looked absolutely ridiculous.

Master solved the problem.
With a smart smack to dievca’s ass,
Master passed along a wooden yardstick to fish out the delinquent heel.


After its retrieval, He then pulled His dievca from under the bed
and sent her off to the shower.

The practicalities of D/s.