Why are my Sir and I exhausted and rejuvenated after playing?
8. You’re Just Too Good In Bed To Not Be Exhausted
And then, there’s always this possibility to be considered: You rock her world; she rocks yours and together, you’re rocking the bed, the table, the walls and the entire household. That’s got to explain your levels of exhaustion when all you want to do is lay like a vegetable and bask in the glory of your awesomeness as you laze around the place, going over the entire events of last night or early this morning. Phew! ~mensxp.com
That might explain it! It’s a “good tired” not stress tired.
Amazingly intense, remarkably sensual, as soothing as a massage or as shocking as a solid impact play strike, wax play can be all of this and more. But anything involving an open flame offers some risks. And it can be messy.
Kinky fun with a lit candle!
Safety should always be first and foremost in your mind when doing anything BDSM-oriented.
A lit candle in your play space – whether it’s decorative or for play – involves care. All it takes is a careless backhand and that candle could tumble to the floor and create chaos – possibly even setting the room on fire.
Have a fire extinguisher handy.
Make sure your space is clean and uncluttered. No silk scarves, decorative tassels and flying bras wandering around… just a table, a lighter, your candle and a willing body.
Remember, if you have any doubts or confusion, don’t do it.
There is only one kind of candle that should be used for wax play.
The candles come under a variety of names but, most commonly, they are called safety candles. You can find them anywhere from pharmacies to hardware stores. They are simple, basic – dull. They have a low melting point and that is why they are the ONLY choice for this type of kinky play.
Other kinds of candles aren’t just wax. They have additives that aren’t designed for wax play, so they can be exceptionally hot and cause serious burns. No votive candles, no religious candles, no large ones, and never beeswax. Beeswax, in particular, burns very hot.
Safety candles are quite soft. Sometimes just rubbing one between your fingers will cause it to melt. The softer the candle, the lower it’s melting point. This is what makes them great for wax play – when the wax lands on someone, it won’t be dangerously hot and it will cool down relatively quickly.
Nowadays, you can buy candles designed for wax play (click above). Just always try out the candle on your own skin before using it on someone else.
Try Your Candle on Your Own Skin, but…
Test your candle on the palm of your hand or thigh. Keep in mind that everyone’s pain threshold can be wildly different. You might think it’s fine, yet it could still be too much for your partner. Communicate and if the person you are dropping hot wax on says its “too much”, listen and react accordingly.
Prepare the Skin
Something to consider – hair.
One of the unique things about hot wax is that it can, with training, experience, and skill, be put almost anywhere. Remember that when you put wax on hair, it cools and when you try to remove it, the hair tends to come off with the wax.
Hair removal might be in order. Even with clean skin, it’s always a good idea to apply a thin coat of non-scented oil. Non-scented because you don’t want to add an allergic reaction to the mix. Baby oil or coconut oil might be good options.
The distance of the Candle from the Skin
We have a safe place, a fire extinguisher at the ready, the safety candle and a person, all set and shaved and/or lubricated. Let’s get to waxing!
The distance from the flame to a person’s skin is crucial. Hold the candle a little lower than a foot from your partner’s skin, any closer and you risk the wax being too hot when it lands, any farther and it can splash.
Hold the candle parallel to your partner. If you tip the candle too far back, so the flame is above your hand, the wax is just going to hit you and not them. Holding it directly down could cause the wax itself to actually burn.
Move slowly and carefully over a small area, taking time to go over areas where you have already laid down some drops. Wax play is the most intense when it first lands but as the wax cools, the sensation becomes less intense – and as the wax builds up it gives a sensual feeling of warmth.
If your bottom reacts negatively– – along the lines of “Get this shit off me!” – don’t apply water. Rub your hand along where the wax has been dribbled. This will spread the hot wax and cool it down quickly.
Where to Wax?
The human body has all kinds of great places for wax play. The back is great, as are breasts and nipples. It can be dribbled on an ass – especially before, during, or after some impact play. It can even be used on cock and balls: be extra careful with that territory. Breasts (person lying down) can be extra fun as you can create a mold of the person’s nipple in the wax. Thighs are also good – shaving is probably a good idea.
Slowly and sensually, you’ve laid down a growing area of wax. Your bottom is feeling the warmth, the lovely intensity – but then it’s time for them to come back to reality…
Cleaning Up After Wax Play
The messy part.
Because of this, many kinky play spaces do not allow wax play. If you aren’t playing at home, be sure to ask whoever is in charge of the space if it’s allowed.
At home, an old sheet is a great thing to have under the person you are waxing. When the scene is done, you can just gently brush off the wax and have them carefully stand up. Then roll up the sheet and throw it away.
Even with precautions, wax can end up in all kinds of places. Be careful if you have a rug or carpeting, getting wax out of either can be a real nightmare. Doing wax play on a space with a wood floor can be a benefit. Just be sure to have some pillows around in case your bottom needs to sit down or gets dizzy.
That concludes a hot time with wax! Remember that you are dealing with an open flame and if you have any concerns — light the candle of knowledge (research more) before playing with wax.
A "Thank You" to Kinkly.com.
Your Sir said to ‘hold tight’.
“It was the funniest thing in the world to see a customer buying a shampoo, a toothpaste, and a dildo. Where else are you going to find that?” Nowhere except the famous Ricky’s NYC.
dievca has been riding her bike everywhere in the NYC and it makes stopping, shopping or wandering the City harder to do. One of the stores that is no longer in her neighborhood is Ricky’s. she hasn’t visited a Ricky’s store in a long time and she was worried that they were going out of business. Turns out they are re-organizing….
Here’s how Ricky’s describes itself:
An edgy, ultra-hip “beauty shop” specializing in unique fashion accessories, cosmetics, and beauty supplies, Ricky’s NYC has been a part of New York’s urban chic culture for nearly two decades. From style-conscious teenagers and their suburbanite moms to Hollywood celebrities and their professional stylists, Ricky’s NYC plays host to a diverse, cult-like following of clientele.
A veritable one stop super shop for everything beauty Ricky’s NYC transcends trends while inspiring and emphasizing individuality. With products ranging from professional hair care to temporary tattoos, Ricky’s NYC’s eclectic offerings make headlines and grace the pages of major beauty publications every month. Ricky’s NYC is synonymous with style, sensibility and funky sophistication.
Here’s how dievca describes it:
dievca used to be able to go into Ricky’s and buy SweetSpot Labs Grapefruit personal wipes, a Chi Hair Straightener, Spanx Tights, a Rabbit Vibrator, Penis Straws and Murad Pomegranate Extract Face Cleaner:
Following in the footsteps of his father, operator of drugstores called Love, Ricky Kenig opened the first Ricky’s NYC in 1989 with his brother Todd, who, by his own account, built the retailer to 28 stores and $55 million in revenues by 2012. Ricky’s NYC is now controlled by a private owner declining to be named. Lisa Aquilino is now the President. Her mission has been to restructure Ricky’s slowly and gently to become a better version of itself. Prior to Aquilino, the president’s role at Ricky’s NYC was occupied by Michael Long, Dominick Costello and Richard Parrott.
That said, the Ricky’s on the UWS seemed to be re-organizing its floor space and consolidating. The “sex shop” part was no longer in existence and dievca didn’t see a Hair Salon – but not all Ricky’s have hair salons. There was an extensive “sale” area which allowed dievca to pick-up some expensive skin care items for less and made her smile with this Beauty & Pin-Up Haircare line on sale:
Something excellent for the 1950’s Household Kink submissive.
While waiting for my Master to arrive at my apartment, I fell asleep on my belly. I must have looked like a starfish, all spread out in the sun. His Collar and Cuffs were on at His request.
Master had let himself in and must have quietly connected the straps to the corners of my bed and gently connected the straps to the ankle cuffs. I didn’t wake up until he place a vibrator directly on my clit. At that moment, I tried to roll over and my spread legs wouldn’t let me, Master said, “Stay on your belly” and used the vibrator to cause an orgasm.
I felt lube drip on to my ass and Master worked it into my asshole with his finger. He popped in an anal plug, then left to wash his hands.
” Get on your hands and suck me, dievca”, I worshiped His cock in that awkward spread position until it was hard.
Master placed two pillows under my hips, grabbed my ass and plunged into my wet pussy.
Going deep and pressing on the anal plug. I shuddered once, twice and orgasmed. Master kept moving in/out and stopped to tell me to move on His Cock. He snaked His hand around my ass to my clit and played with it until I orgasmed, again. This orgasm was so hard the anal plug went flying out.
I felt Master put lube on His thumb and he started to play in my ass. I felt the larger glass anal plug replace the first plug. Stretching me open.
Master washed His hands and Cock, only to return for me to suck Him hard and put a condom on. He unclipped my ankles, removed the glass plug, added lube and guided His Cock into my ass, one inch at a time.
By now I was dripping and my asshole was opening up.
Master fully entered my ass and started to move, holding my hips. I orgasmed twice and started to ride Master’s Cock. Master handed me the vibrator and said, “Hold this to your clit.” After a bit of time, I began to buck violently with the strength of my orgasms, Master held my hips for the ride. I finally squeezed Master out and fell flat on my tummy with exhaustion. He went to remove the condom and wash His hands, then lay down to hold me.
After some time, I asked Master’s permission to suck Him. Permission granted, he grew large in my throat. He flipped me over, on to my back, and came into my pussy to orgasm. We passed out for 30 minutes, in the sun.
There’s not a lot of dignity in Sex. Funny faces, awkward positions, random fluids, strange noises.
Master tells dievca that one of His greatest pleasures is causing His dievca’s multiple orgasms. she wonders what her “o-face” looks like to Master. she knows what her hoo-ha feels like ~ exquisite. And she knows what Master looks like when He orgasms – amazing.
That leads to the question:
The kitchen table,
the bathroom sink,
the hallway bench,
the lounge chair,
An ‘anywhere you want it’ versatile position for your Sir or Mistress.
dievca’s favorite? Looking out on to the City through floor to ceiling windows.
Master has a hint of the exhibitionist in Him.