“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
Master has been working out consistently.
He has left His dievca in the dust.
dievca has been cleared by her Doctor’s as healthy.
she leaves for Europe at the end of July.
It’s time to turn it on.
Some kind of physical workout every day.
Today is stretching.
Does D/s Play count?
Sometimes you need to check in with your feelings.
Do you ever wonder what your Sir or Mistress is feeling?
Amazingly intense, remarkably sensual, as soothing as a massage or as shocking as a solid impact play strike, wax play can be all of this and more. But anything involving an open flame offers some risks. And it can be messy.
Kinky fun with a lit candle!
Safety should always be first and foremost in your mind when doing anything BDSM-oriented.
A lit candle in your play space – whether it’s decorative or for play – involves care. All it takes is a careless backhand and that candle could tumble to the floor and create chaos – possibly even setting the room on fire.
Have a fire extinguisher handy.
Make sure your space is clean and uncluttered. No silk scarves, decorative tassels and flying bras wandering around… just a table, a lighter, your candle and a willing body.
Remember, if you have any doubts or confusion, don’t do it.
There is only one kind of candle that should be used for wax play.
The candles come under a variety of names but, most commonly, they are called safety candles. You can find them anywhere from pharmacies to hardware stores. They are simple, basic – dull. They have a low melting point and that is why they are the ONLY choice for this type of kinky play.
Other kinds of candles aren’t just wax. They have additives that aren’t designed for wax play, so they can be exceptionally hot and cause serious burns. No votive candles, no religious candles, no large ones, and never beeswax. Beeswax, in particular, burns very hot.
Safety candles are quite soft. Sometimes just rubbing one between your fingers will cause it to melt. The softer the candle, the lower it’s melting point. This is what makes them great for wax play – when the wax lands on someone, it won’t be dangerously hot and it will cool down relatively quickly.
Nowadays, you can buy candles designed for wax play (click above). Just always try out the candle on your own skin before using it on someone else.
Try Your Candle on Your Own Skin, but…
Test your candle on the palm of your hand or thigh. Keep in mind that everyone’s pain threshold can be wildly different. You might think it’s fine, yet it could still be too much for your partner. Communicate and if the person you are dropping hot wax on says its “too much”, listen and react accordingly.
Prepare the Skin
Something to consider – hair.
One of the unique things about hot wax is that it can, with training, experience, and skill, be put almost anywhere. Remember that when you put wax on hair, it cools and when you try to remove it, the hair tends to come off with the wax.
Hair removal might be in order. Even with clean skin, it’s always a good idea to apply a thin coat of non-scented oil. Non-scented because you don’t want to add an allergic reaction to the mix. Baby oil or coconut oil might be good options.
The distance of the Candle from the Skin
We have a safe place, a fire extinguisher at the ready, the safety candle and a person, all set and shaved and/or lubricated. Let’s get to waxing!
The distance from the flame to a person’s skin is crucial. Hold the candle a little lower than a foot from your partner’s skin, any closer and you risk the wax being too hot when it lands, any farther and it can splash.
Hold the candle parallel to your partner. If you tip the candle too far back, so the flame is above your hand, the wax is just going to hit you and not them. Holding it directly down could cause the wax itself to actually burn.
Move slowly and carefully over a small area, taking time to go over areas where you have already laid down some drops. Wax play is the most intense when it first lands but as the wax cools, the sensation becomes less intense – and as the wax builds up it gives a sensual feeling of warmth.
If your bottom reacts negatively– – along the lines of “Get this shit off me!” – don’t apply water. Rub your hand along where the wax has been dribbled. This will spread the hot wax and cool it down quickly.
Where to Wax?
The human body has all kinds of great places for wax play. The back is great, as are breasts and nipples. It can be dribbled on an ass – especially before, during, or after some impact play. It can even be used on cock and balls: be extra careful with that territory. Breasts (person lying down) can be extra fun as you can create a mold of the person’s nipple in the wax. Thighs are also good – shaving is probably a good idea.
Slowly and sensually, you’ve laid down a growing area of wax. Your bottom is feeling the warmth, the lovely intensity – but then it’s time for them to come back to reality…
Cleaning Up After Wax Play
The messy part.
Because of this, many kinky play spaces do not allow wax play. If you aren’t playing at home, be sure to ask whoever is in charge of the space if it’s allowed.
At home, an old sheet is a great thing to have under the person you are waxing. When the scene is done, you can just gently brush off the wax and have them carefully stand up. Then roll up the sheet and throw it away.
Even with precautions, wax can end up in all kinds of places. Be careful if you have a rug or carpeting, getting wax out of either can be a real nightmare. Doing wax play on a space with a wood floor can be a benefit. Just be sure to have some pillows around in case your bottom needs to sit down or gets dizzy.
That concludes a hot time with wax! Remember that you are dealing with an open flame and if you have any concerns — light the candle of knowledge (research more) before playing with wax.
A "Thank You" to Kinkly.com.
We had some excellent answers on dievca’s Tuesday blog post!
It’s a Labienspangen — Labia Clasp.
Years ago, Master was traveling in Europe and dievca asked him to search out a shop in Berlin that sold 925 sterling silver Labia Clasps, along with other accoutrements and goodies.
He wandered around a desolate spot in Berlin and found a store/studio that looked abandoned.
Why did dievca ask Him to wander Berlin?
…this is probably one of Biank’s best inventions. He introduced his labia clasp made from 925 sterling silver for the first time in 1982. Even today, it still ensures that the wearer is starry-eyed with pleasure, from fitting onwards. It has often been copied by other providers. The fact remains that it takes years of experience and intuition to advise you to your optimal satisfaction. It is possible to have your labia clasp individually and anatomically adjusted in our Berlin studio to guarantee a perfect fit. This service is free of charge. The labia clasp is fitted over the small labia and creates a pleasant and stimulating feeling of tension when correctly fitted. After drawing back the clitoral foreskin, the clitoris is permanently exposed and is thus more receptive to stimulation. Clasps that are “too large”, “too wide” or “too small” can be returned and exchanged.
dievca figured that Master knows her labia intimately and could estimate her size. If there was a problem, she was going to Berlin three months after Master and could get the clasp adjusted.
Ah, well – dievca’s idea didn’t quite work out, but he idea of her minora lady lips being held firmly open and a ball tapping on her clit as she walks around was/is amazing to dievca. In fact, she’s getting wet thinking about it …
Can the lovely Europeans who read this blog please find out about these accoutrements for dievca? Please? The deutsche website is linked to the photo above.
Ah, well. A less expensive and sort of interesting option is this:
The Pussy Clamps are surgical steel and open up the labia majora – not minora, which is something dievca does already with:
Master uses three mini-clothespins on each side of dievca’s labia majora to open her up for inspection and play with her vulva.
Master asked for a Fantasy. Something to bounce off of – dievca is sure.
He’s back from traveling and tomorrow is convienient to meet.
But as dievca worked 9 hours, had an issue with a plumber after work, passed out on the sofa for an hour, ate spaghettios, wasabi peas and fruit for dinner. she is finally having a glass of wine – but, no BDSM fantasy is coming to mind.
Just a blog post.
A short one at that.
Merriam-Webster defines burnout as “ the condition of someone who has become very physically and emotionally tired after doing a difficult job for a long time”. As much as we s-types do love being submissive and serving, I doubt anyone is going to debate the fact that what we do can be a difficult job and is definitely a long term job.
A D/s relationship requires two individuals to Tango. One partner cannot be expected to be the one to act or plan or suggest all the time. The other partner has to step up, sometimes. Make sure in your relationships, Vanilla or BDSM that you put your time and input in — your partner might need your help. Planning and fantasies are not just the submissive’s domain or the Dominant’s domain — sometimes there needs to be flexibility, communication and a bounce-off platform from the other side.
Master asked for a Fantasy.
His dievca is just not able to produce one at this moment.
she will ask for His help.
A "Thank You" to the submissiveguide.com for voicing some of the feelings swirling around in dievca's head (above quote).
dievca is feeling reborn in her submission. The Spring Equinox and ‘Worm’ Supermoon have jump started her closet clear out and renewal of presentation outfits for Master.
she is feeling the call to serve her Dominant.
Come slowly – Eden!
Come slowly – Eden!
Lips unused to Thee –
Bashful – sip thy Jessamines –
As the fainting Bee –
Reaching late his flower,
Round her chamber hums –
Counts his nectars –
Enters – and is lost in Balms.
Emily Dickinson, "Come slowly - Eden!" from (02138: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, ) Source: The Poems of Emily Dickinson Edited by R. W. Franklin (Harvard University Press, 1999)
The equinox will arrive at 5:58 p.m. ET on today, less than four hours before the full supermoon. In the Northern Hemisphere, the equinox is the official start of spring, but in the Southern Hemisphere, it marks the beginning of autumn.
March’s full moon is sometimes called the “worm moon,” because according to folklore tradition, it occurs at a time when the frosty ground is melting and earthworms start to emerge.
The moon reached its closest point to Earth on Tuesday at 3:47 p.m. ET, but the moon won’t be full until Wednesday at 9:43 p.m. ET. The moon is usually about 240,000 miles away from Earth, but at perigee this month, it will come within about 223,300 miles of our planet, according to NASA
But what is an equinox? It’s the year’s first “equal night,” meaning that on Wednesday, we Earth-dwellers will see about 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of night.
On the equinox, the Earth will also begin to tilt so that the North Pole gets more sun, making it spring here in the Northern Hemisphere and fall in the southern. It officially “marks the turning point when daylight begins to win out over darkness,” according to the Old Farmer’s Almanac.