I truly believe that one of the reasons why I look and feel so well
is because I’ve very few inhibitions.
I don’t care about age.
Life is too short to worry about what other people think. ~Mamie van Doren
It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.
~ Mamie van Doren
Sometimes the Power Exchange Merges
The phrase ‘there is no rose without thorns‘ means that in order to enjoy something that is beautiful and pleasurable, you must endure something that is difficult or painful.
If you are tied up, anything can happen. Even if nothing happens beyond kissing, the physical nature of being bound heightens everything.
With extra time on hand, dievca took a BDSM test for giggles (www.bdsmtest.org) – her results are above. she was taken aback by “Rope Bunny” being the highest percentage – especially since rope bondage (shibari) is really not one of her or Master’s interests.
she’s been pondering the high percentage ever since.
The aha! moment came yesterday after meeting and playing with Master. Master created various cuff and strap connections during play, in response dievca switched submissive and moved all in.
Master asked her about being restrained afterward and she had a hard time verbalizing exactly why she is able to let go fully.
The gist is that dievca isn’t interested in full bondage for beauty or complete limitation of movement.
she is interested in being restrained to place full trust in Master and take away control from pieces of her body to focus fully on Master and other bodily responses. The energy from the restraints can be pushed elsewhere.
Does that make sense?
Where do you go when the World gets a little crazy?
What habits, activities, processes happen?
dievca is still working, but when she has a chunk of open time after wiping down the refrigerator….three things may occur:
- The vintage 1990’s Champion Sweats appear, cosy and worn in
- Alexa plays Classic Cassette Era Rock, 1970’s Pop, 1980’s New Wave, 1990’s Alternative
- dievca’s nose gets stuck in a Sci-Fi / Fantasy novel
Master just laughs at His dievca when she hides from the World – He knows she’ll come back to Reality with Him.
But Master isn’t here and dievca has slipped into her 90’s Alternative Universe with Mazzy Star. Yes, she has her Champion Reverseweave Sweatshirt on:
What do you do to slip away?
Mazzy Star – Fade Into You – 10/2/1994 – Shoreline Amphitheatre (Official)
Fade Into You
I wanna hold the hand inside you
I wanna take the breath that’s true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life, you go in shadow
You’ll come upon and you’ll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Close your eyes with what’s not there
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think it’s strange you never knew
The strange light comes on slowly
A stranger’s heart is out of home
You put your hands into your head
And your smiles cover your heart
Songwriters: David Roback / Hope Sandoval
Well…options for dievca to work on.
Her hair hasn’t looked like any of these options.
(Wait! She did have a pixie cut at one time)
How about your hair?
A big, bright Full Worm Moon will appear in the east on Monday, March 9th.
It might make your Sir’s worm wiggle…
Although the Super Worm Moon officially reaches 100-percent illumination at 1:48 p.m EDT and 10:42 p.m PDT, it’s much more impressive if viewed as it appears low on the horizon.
In New York, sunset is at 6:57 p.m. EDT and moonrise is at 5:56 p.m. EDT, while in Los Angeles sunset occurs at 6:56 p.m. PDT, followed by moonrise at 6:14 p.m. PDT.
If the sky isn’t clear on Monday, check again at dawn, when the moon will be setting in the west. In New York, sunrise is at 7:15 a.m. EDT and moonset 8:06 a.m. EDT, while in LA, sunrise is at 7:09 a.m. PDT and moonset 7:58 a.m. PDT.
The eyes are open
Aware but barely knowing
To slide thru the day
dievca has found herself reading Reddit Chemistry and Physics threads, lately…
Something about wishing to be a student, again?
This might be an inspiration for a Presentation Outfit:
Foreigner’s ‘Blinded by Science’ doesn’t have a video to inspire, but Thomas Dolby does!
- Thick intelligent glasses
- Lab coat
- Pusssy bow blouse
- Circle midi skirt
- Black heels
- Pencil in bun
It’s a pity nobody believes in simple lust anymore.
What is happening between your legs as well as between your ears during arousal?
Desire usually refers to emotionally wanting to have sex, while arousal refers to the physiological changes in your body that happen when you are sexually excited.
During arousal, your brain is welling up with powerful hormones: dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine, which comes first, triggers feelings of motivation. I really want to get this person naked. Oxytocin, the ‘Cuddle Hormone’, kicks in later and makes you feel bonded with your partner.
As a pair, the two neurotransmitters explain why we feel instantly — if momentarily — bonded to our partner when we start to feel turned on. During arousal, certain geography of the brain lights up like fireworks. Half a dozen parts of the brain become activated, including the amygdala (associated with emotions), the hippocampus (associated with memory management), and the anterior insula (helps process physical feelings).
Men and women’s brains don’t always respond the same way to arousing stimuli. In a study published in 2015, men and women watched a series of erotic videos while researchers examined their brains using an fMRI. Both men and women reported feelings of arousal while watching the videos, but researchers noticed that men showed more brain activity in the amygdala while women showed hardly any.
More so than men, women tend to be aroused by stimuli that they can “imagine themselves into” — like an erotic story, or an imagined fantasy. Another study that tracked eye movement as people watched pornography, found that both men and women’s eyes were locked on the woman in the film — regardless of their sexual orientation. The theory? Women need to imagine their way “into” the scene, while men are satisfied by focusing on the visual imagery alone.
Researchers also noticed that women’s stimulation of the vagina, clitoris, and nipples all correspond to the same precise area of the sensory cortex — meaning that all of those areas register as erogenous. Yes, confirming the obvious, but arousal has been difficult to measure as there is often a disconnect between what is happening in your genitals, your brain, and your consciousness.
John Bancroft, Ph.D., senior researcher and former director of the Kinsey Institute, has studied how arousal develops, and his research pinpoints something important:
We need to be aware of our own arousal before we can really feel aroused.
“In the male, sexual arousal is typically associated with some degree of penile erection. The man will become aware of this, and focus his attention on the idea of his penis being stimulated,” explains Dr. Bancroft. But, in women, the equivalent — the stiffening of the clitoris — isn’t nearly as noticeable, and “typically the woman is less aware of her genital response unless her genitals are touched.”
Cognitive components of arousal are especially important for women. Just like sensual touching can jumpstart arousal, so too can sensual thought. Reading erotica, watching pornography, fantasizing about an erotic scenario, or even just thinking about sex all trigger a response in the brain — which, in turn, contributes to feelings of arousal. The biggest sex organ in the body is the brain, talking with a lover in a loving, sexy way can cause a man to become erect, or a woman to become wet.
The mechanics of sexual arousal are well-known, but are there things that can take our arousal to the next level? There are all kinds of supposed ‘sexual aids’ in the form of herbs, supplements, and exercise methods that claim to improve libido. e.g. eating oysters, taking ginseng, using THC lube. No conclusive evidence has been found that these items do not work, but there is no good evidence that they do work either.
What is recommended and proven is communication. The sharing of one’s desires is a great arousal jump-starter. Working to shed inhibitions and opening yourself emotionally can help you get into the right headspace to feel turned on. Don’t think of ‘foreplay’ as something completed to get to a conclusive event (orgasm). Think ‘sex play’ — a menu of different activities to create pleasure between partners, sometimes with a formal conclusion, sometimes without.
Work with what God gave you~
In modified modes.
It’s not been all comfort food…
Master has been really cognizant about His dievca’s mental and physical state.
Back issues? Certain positions.
Torn Calf? Gentle maneuvering.
Mental meltdown? Coddling before shifting..
Need for oblivion? Heavy D/s subspace.
In return, dievca has been serving Her Master to the best of her abilities.
It’s amazing how they flip to D/s without much coaxing.
One cannot ask anything more than that in D/s relationship. Right?
Eight Candles surround me
Offering a soft glow
Linking Night to the Morn
Silence loud in absence
The healing has begun
Looking back carefully
Confident glance forward
Age and size are only numbers.
It’s the attitude you bring to clothes that make the difference.
~ Donna Karan
Photo: Man Ray Bottom
Healing to occur
Surroundings shift and change
“Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”
~ Gilbert K. Chesterton
Lovesick Corrective Apparel was formed in the spring of 1995, by Andrea Johnson. Andrea’s formal background includes a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree from the Emily Carr College of Art and Design /Open University (1991) and diplomas in Pattern drafting, Construction Techniques and Fashion Design from the Fashion Arts Certificate Program at VCC (1995). Her natural deviance combined with a love and hatred of fashion to create an outlet for ideas born from 1950’s fetish magazines, case histories, and thrift store curiosities.
The site offers sections: Corsets, Restraints, Undergarments, and Gifts. Corsets can be bought ‘off-the-rack’ or custom made.
Looks very interesting, right?
dievca called the Ontario number on the site – it is disconnected. The last blog information was offered around 2006. The Lingerie Addict cited the website in 2011. Purple Passion NYC is not offering the brand on their website. It looks like a fun and interesting retail BDSM website is done. If this isn’t true, please let dievca know.
Good Morning, Good Week, Safe BDSM.
A lunch date at the Met.
What does a submissive wear?
What will Master’s dievca wear?
she cannot think…
she’s out of practice…
she just cleared out her closet…
Not to panic, there has to be something in there:
Thanks for helping dievca think it through.
And Master just reminded dievca – no toys in the bag. Bag check. XO
Master is traveling for a few weeks and dievca has moved into self-care and anal-training. she knows that she orgasms multiple times with Master, but she’s always fascinated at how quickly she can orgasm during Masturbation. she’ll set aside 30 minutes and is done with the first orgasm in 30 seconds.
Is something wrong?
How can something be wrong if it happens and feels great, then can be repeated.
OK, it is just weird.
Just call dievca the “Speedy Gonzales” of the orgasm.
dievca is back home and she caught up with Master for D/s, Gin & Tonics, and sushi.
A mental support moment before dievca flies to her Parents for the weekend.
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
Master has been working out consistently.
He has left His dievca in the dust.
dievca has been cleared by her Doctor’s as healthy.
she leaves for Europe at the end of July.
It’s time to turn it on.
Some kind of physical workout every day.
Today is stretching.
Does D/s Play count?
Sometimes you need to check in with your feelings.
Do you ever wonder what your Sir or Mistress is feeling?
Amazingly intense, remarkably sensual, as soothing as a massage or as shocking as a solid impact play strike, wax play can be all of this and more. But anything involving an open flame offers some risks. And it can be messy.
Kinky fun with a lit candle!
Safety should always be first and foremost in your mind when doing anything BDSM-oriented.
A lit candle in your play space – whether it’s decorative or for play – involves care. All it takes is a careless backhand and that candle could tumble to the floor and create chaos – possibly even setting the room on fire.
Have a fire extinguisher handy.
Make sure your space is clean and uncluttered. No silk scarves, decorative tassels and flying bras wandering around… just a table, a lighter, your candle and a willing body.
Remember, if you have any doubts or confusion, don’t do it.
There is only one kind of candle that should be used for wax play.
The candles come under a variety of names but, most commonly, they are called safety candles. You can find them anywhere from pharmacies to hardware stores. They are simple, basic – dull. They have a low melting point and that is why they are the ONLY choice for this type of kinky play.
Other kinds of candles aren’t just wax. They have additives that aren’t designed for wax play, so they can be exceptionally hot and cause serious burns. No votive candles, no religious candles, no large ones, and never beeswax. Beeswax, in particular, burns very hot.
Safety candles are quite soft. Sometimes just rubbing one between your fingers will cause it to melt. The softer the candle, the lower it’s melting point. This is what makes them great for wax play – when the wax lands on someone, it won’t be dangerously hot and it will cool down relatively quickly.
Nowadays, you can buy candles designed for wax play (click above). Just always try out the candle on your own skin before using it on someone else.
Try Your Candle on Your Own Skin, but…
Test your candle on the palm of your hand or thigh. Keep in mind that everyone’s pain threshold can be wildly different. You might think it’s fine, yet it could still be too much for your partner. Communicate and if the person you are dropping hot wax on says its “too much”, listen and react accordingly.
Prepare the Skin
Something to consider – hair.
One of the unique things about hot wax is that it can, with training, experience, and skill, be put almost anywhere. Remember that when you put wax on hair, it cools and when you try to remove it, the hair tends to come off with the wax.
Hair removal might be in order. Even with clean skin, it’s always a good idea to apply a thin coat of non-scented oil. Non-scented because you don’t want to add an allergic reaction to the mix. Baby oil or coconut oil might be good options.
The distance of the Candle from the Skin
We have a safe place, a fire extinguisher at the ready, the safety candle and a person, all set and shaved and/or lubricated. Let’s get to waxing!
The distance from the flame to a person’s skin is crucial. Hold the candle a little lower than a foot from your partner’s skin, any closer and you risk the wax being too hot when it lands, any farther and it can splash.
Hold the candle parallel to your partner. If you tip the candle too far back, so the flame is above your hand, the wax is just going to hit you and not them. Holding it directly down could cause the wax itself to actually burn.
Move slowly and carefully over a small area, taking time to go over areas where you have already laid down some drops. Wax play is the most intense when it first lands but as the wax cools, the sensation becomes less intense – and as the wax builds up it gives a sensual feeling of warmth.
If your bottom reacts negatively– – along the lines of “Get this shit off me!” – don’t apply water. Rub your hand along where the wax has been dribbled. This will spread the hot wax and cool it down quickly.
Where to Wax?
The human body has all kinds of great places for wax play. The back is great, as are breasts and nipples. It can be dribbled on an ass – especially before, during, or after some impact play. It can even be used on cock and balls: be extra careful with that territory. Breasts (person lying down) can be extra fun as you can create a mold of the person’s nipple in the wax. Thighs are also good – shaving is probably a good idea.
Slowly and sensually, you’ve laid down a growing area of wax. Your bottom is feeling the warmth, the lovely intensity – but then it’s time for them to come back to reality…
Cleaning Up After Wax Play
The messy part.
Because of this, many kinky play spaces do not allow wax play. If you aren’t playing at home, be sure to ask whoever is in charge of the space if it’s allowed.
At home, an old sheet is a great thing to have under the person you are waxing. When the scene is done, you can just gently brush off the wax and have them carefully stand up. Then roll up the sheet and throw it away.
Even with precautions, wax can end up in all kinds of places. Be careful if you have a rug or carpeting, getting wax out of either can be a real nightmare. Doing wax play on a space with a wood floor can be a benefit. Just be sure to have some pillows around in case your bottom needs to sit down or gets dizzy.
That concludes a hot time with wax! Remember that you are dealing with an open flame and if you have any concerns — light the candle of knowledge (research more) before playing with wax.
A "Thank You" to Kinkly.com.
We had some excellent answers on dievca’s Tuesday blog post!
It’s a Labienspangen — Labia Clasp.
Years ago, Master was traveling in Europe and dievca asked him to search out a shop in Berlin that sold 925 sterling silver Labia Clasps, along with other accoutrements and goodies.
He wandered around a desolate spot in Berlin and found a store/studio that looked abandoned.
Why did dievca ask Him to wander Berlin?
…this is probably one of Biank’s best inventions. He introduced his labia clasp made from 925 sterling silver for the first time in 1982. Even today, it still ensures that the wearer is starry-eyed with pleasure, from fitting onwards. It has often been copied by other providers. The fact remains that it takes years of experience and intuition to advise you to your optimal satisfaction. It is possible to have your labia clasp individually and anatomically adjusted in our Berlin studio to guarantee a perfect fit. This service is free of charge. The labia clasp is fitted over the small labia and creates a pleasant and stimulating feeling of tension when correctly fitted. After drawing back the clitoral foreskin, the clitoris is permanently exposed and is thus more receptive to stimulation. Clasps that are “too large”, “too wide” or “too small” can be returned and exchanged.
dievca figured that Master knows her labia intimately and could estimate her size. If there was a problem, she was going to Berlin three months after Master and could get the clasp adjusted.
Ah, well – dievca’s idea didn’t quite work out, but he idea of her minora lady lips being held firmly open and a ball tapping on her clit as she walks around was/is amazing to dievca. In fact, she’s getting wet thinking about it …
Can the lovely Europeans who read this blog please find out about these accoutrements for dievca? Please? The deutsche website is linked to the photo above.
Ah, well. A less expensive and sort of interesting option is this:
The Pussy Clamps are surgical steel and open up the labia majora – not minora, which is something dievca does already with:
Master uses three mini-clothespins on each side of dievca’s labia majora to open her up for inspection and play with her vulva.
Master asked for a Fantasy. Something to bounce off of – dievca is sure.
He’s back from traveling and tomorrow is convienient to meet.
But as dievca worked 9 hours, had an issue with a plumber after work, passed out on the sofa for an hour, ate spaghettios, wasabi peas and fruit for dinner. she is finally having a glass of wine – but, no BDSM fantasy is coming to mind.
Just a blog post.
A short one at that.
Merriam-Webster defines burnout as “ the condition of someone who has become very physically and emotionally tired after doing a difficult job for a long time”. As much as we s-types do love being submissive and serving, I doubt anyone is going to debate the fact that what we do can be a difficult job and is definitely a long term job.
A D/s relationship requires two individuals to Tango. One partner cannot be expected to be the one to act or plan or suggest all the time. The other partner has to step up, sometimes. Make sure in your relationships, Vanilla or BDSM that you put your time and input in — your partner might need your help. Planning and fantasies are not just the submissive’s domain or the Dominant’s domain — sometimes there needs to be flexibility, communication and a bounce-off platform from the other side.
Master asked for a Fantasy.
His dievca is just not able to produce one at this moment.
she will ask for His help.
A "Thank You" to the submissiveguide.com for voicing some of the feelings swirling around in dievca's head (above quote).