Travel Safely

Your dievca will miss You.


But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.

M.
I am afraid that I am going to babble to you the next few days. It’s my way of pushing through and letting off steam.  This release helps minimize my explosion of upset emotions about Dad. The meltdown will come, the good news is that you will probably be in India by then~

Airline ticket – check ($400)
Dial 7 – check ($29)
Rental Car – check ($97)

I feel like I won’t know anything until I see Dad with my own two eyes.
Maybe I was born in Missouri instead of Illinois~

I know I’ve said this, but I NEED to say it, again.
I have amazing friends. You included. I don’t feel alone.

Well, here we go.
He could live or he could die and I don’t have any control over the results.
Let me be calm and breathe.

This is why I kept going back so many times, I have nothing left to say – it has all been said.

My Dad knows I love him and I know he loves me.

But if he goes…I am going to miss him fiercely.

who else will give me hell and tell me that I am out of the will? d.


Wishing on the Moon (full moon tonight)

Photo: Manuel Velasco

“I will walk on the beach with Master, under the full moon.”
“I will walk on the beach with Master, under the full moon.”
“I will walk on the beach with Master, under the full moon.”

TIME OF FULL MOON FOR AMERICA/NEW YORK

January 01, 2018 – 09:24 pm (EST)

May your Wish come true.


Travelling…it’s 23 below (F) = -30.55C

Hello from the frigid Midwest.  It’s cold. It was -32 F earlier.

Family, Dogs, Frank Lloyd Wright/Stickley Furniture. Nice.

Here’s the last view from NYC before leaving:

Photo: dievca NYC 12/2017

And, yes, dievca has her Kiehl’s on her face to battle the cold while wandering the land with the dogs. Catch up with y’all later. XO

Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Deep Moisture Balm


Green-eyed Monster

The Merchant of Venice, 1596:

Portia:
How all the other passions fleet to air,
As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair,
And shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy! O love,
Be moderate; allay thy ecstasy,
In measure rein thy joy; scant this excess.
I feel too much thy blessing: make it less,
For fear I surfeit.

Othello, 1604,

Iago:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!

dievca is tired and jealous. Jealousy is not as glamorous as Shakespeare’s writing~

The guilt arrives as she feels she has no right to be jealous.

Wait! It’s not jealousy…it’s envy. Green with envy~

dievca should be happy about other people’s good fortune, right?

The people around her travel to Miami, Maine, Cape Cod, California, Copenhagen, Belize, Argentina, Philadelphia, Switzerland, Vietnam, Montreal, Colorado, Scotland, Iceland, Cuba for pleasure trips…

dievca’s last three trips were for family and taking care of their needs or working 13 hour days for two weeks.  The next trip will be back to her Parents, again. It’s not relaxing. And dievca gets this: “It’s so much easier when you are around, when are you coming back?” or “I’m only going to be around so long.” or “Can you eBay the two exercise machines for me? I know that X,Y,Z is nowhere near NY, but you eBay and I don’t” — how should dievca feel?

Note: dievca tries to make sure she does something she likes during those trips, plus she tries to remember that the trips are for people she loves….but a weekend getaway, a college football game, a stop at the beach purely for herself wouldn’t go amiss.

dievca just cannot bring herself to do it…and that is her fault.

Just let her whinge, ok?  The clothes coming up are worth it.

Remember those people who were traveling for fun? dievca gets a bit resentful when those same people come home and complain about how they are behind on work or their bodies aren’t working well because they missed yoga…really, dievca’s heart is bleeding for you – having five days off was tough.

They could have brought her a bottle of wine or a little gift, right?

she (dievca) is a shitty person, huh?
she is really tired and cranky…

Vintage Pin Up Fred Rodewald Green Raincoat

Look how sexy the pin-up is in green –
If dievca can’t travel, maybe a little green Retail Therapy would help easy her jealousy~

NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 07: Rita Ora seen on the streets of Manhattan on December 7, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by James Devaney/GC Images) Coat by Emilio Pucci

Yves Saint Laurent green patent leather easy bag

Draped emerald-green silk dress by Lanvin

COS green ribbed cashmere hat

COS green cashmere scarf

Alyx Green Cargo Pants

Liebeskind Stanford Velvet Backpack Green $228

Green jacket By Saint Laurent

VALENTINO GARAVANI Leather Shoulder Bag green

Lanvin Green Silk Satin One-shouldered Dress

Gianfranco Ferré runway show. Fall Trends, Green Gloves

Anndra Neen cage bag green ShopBop

VINTAGE 50’S EMERALD GREEN SILK CHIFFON COCKTAIL PARTY DRESS BY MISS ELLIETTE

Grass Green Hoodie Wool Cape Etsy

Proenza Schouler green PS1 medium suede tote

Coach Green leather gloves rabbit interior

Jimmy Choo Darylin suede and patent-leather pumps ($695) green

Lanvin Spring 2004 Green Dress silk

Clingy Wallet In Green Patent Leather by 49 Square Miles

Chloe leather trench coat green

Etsy Green Banana Leaf Midi Skirt Custom $71.00

Moschino Cheap and Chic Green paillettes Dress

H & M Green Sweater with Appliques

H & M dark green v-neck t-shirt

Proenza Schouler Green Lux Leather PS1 Tiny Satchel Bag

Lili Pepper Dark Green Coin Purse

J. Peterman 1940’s Cord Dress Green


On my Mind~

Hello, how are you doing?  I hope my choice of blog reposts these past two weeks were semi-interesting.  If nothing else, I had fun going back to read them and revisit the memories.

I didn’t get a chance to read blogs like I thought I would. I ended up researching a graduate program (3rd Master’s degree anyone? We will see), working extra to allow me to travel down South.

The traveling included visiting Families and Friends, learning about myself and watching people react:

  • How does one deal with chemo after getting a great check-up with a Doctor who can only give a lukewarm delivery. How many times had that Doctor put their heart on the line, to be shut down?
  • Or watching the robust couple who lost (or gained) everything with a brain tumor? The frank discussion of choosing not to do radiation the next time it’s needed.
  • I have a tendency to see something in a home that needs done and doing it….it’s invasive, yet, needed. So, I pray that my minor moments of help are seen as a “break” not an offense.
  • Talking to college students about their hopes, dreams and drinking across Europe is very entertaining.
  • Cuddling with immense dogs is messy and healing.
  • All done while eating a whole lot of BBQ and butter~ everything is better with butter.

 

This watchfulness and self-reflection of family relationships, relationships and friendships triggered a review of what I want for the future, what I want for my Life and why I want things. I know that I am not in need, but what would fulfill me?

I don’t have any hard conclusions, but I’d like to share information I’ve pondered.

Assess your friend network

Research shows that having a strong network of relationships is vital to our health.

It’s harder to make friends as we get older. 

Tereasa Jones, who has a master’s degree in counseling and is a certified life coach who specializes in friendship coaching, had suggestions about how to make new friends as an adult..

According to Jones, we all move through a variety of interpersonal relationships on a daily basis.

  • “Intimates” are the lifelines you can call at 3 a.m. with an emergency.
  • “Friends” you spend time with, but maybe don’t share every detail of your life
  • “Friendly acquaintances” are people you know you like and whom you see on a regular basis in a particular setting, like work or the yoga studio. They’re the ones you’ve considered inviting out for coffee, but never have.
  • “Acquaintances” are people you’re friendly with in passing, at the store, the gym, in the elevator.

I asked myself which of these categories am I missing in my life?

None, but changes can be considered.

I have a lot of  “friendly acquaintances” and “friends” by default – there is always someone I can ask to meet for coffee, a movie, a museum, talk about an issue, ask advice.  And I do have a core set of “intimate friends” whom I connect with consistently, but most of them live in different states/countries….

That might be the group I need to address, locally.

It’s tough as an adult to find the time, desire and say “yes” to the odd activity, but as Amy Silverstein suggests:

Sometimes friendship is just about showing up

“Don’t be afraid to show up….Push yourself a little bit, when you sense that you’re needed. Show up with an open mind to be there in any way that your friend needs: to let her yell, cry, not say anything at all, [or to] just hold her hand.”

I’m well aware that in most cases you receive what you give.

Yes, there are the odd circumstances where you get taken advantage of….but if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open. You should be o.k.

If I keep my eyes, ears and heart open. I should be o.k.

Wish me Luck!

How is your friend situation looking?  Any way you can push away from the BBQ and butter to meet someone new?  Let me know about it!

XO

Thank you to Annaliese Griffin from Well & Good 
And an interesting read from a Guy's Viewpoint.

The View which Welcomes Me Home